Freedom
by wildbats
Summary: A different swing on the Demetrius James storyline, this features Nick and Greg almost 7 years after the event. Greg is trying to restart his life and Nick is there to help him along the way. Will they find their way back to each other after so much has happened or will circumstances keep them apart? Slash/AU.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: So I've been craving CSI fiction lately, especially of my favorite pairing Nick and Greg. I've missed reading and writing about them. I had an idea pop in my head that's not complete but it's coming along nicely. Some updates might be slow but hopefully I will finish it. I hate to leave people hanging on an unfinished story. I know I try not to read unfinished ones since sometimes they never get finished. I don't think this one will be quite as dark as some of my previous ones. It's a bit A/U, taking off from season 7 and the Demetrius James storyline. I was always unsatisfied with how they carried out the story in the show. This is definitely an resolution I didn't want to see happen on the show, but I thought it would make for an interesting twist. I hope you enjoy the nice taste I give you in this first chapter. Enjoy!_

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It had been six years, 272 days, and 13 hours since he last stepped outside of these block walls out towards freedom. It felt much longer than that to him but he was lucky. He was getting released earlier than expected. He had been a model prisoner the last four years and kept out of trouble and out of the way of others. They seemed to leave him alone after the incident for the most part. That enabled him to become stronger.

He spent his time keeping up with recent studies and procedures, even though he knew he would never be able to go back to that life. He was still a scientist after all and his constant reading and studying kept him from taking drastic measures again.

He looked over to his left were the guard nodded for him to go ahead through the gate that just opened for him. He walked through and waited for it to close and lock securely behind him again. The armed prison guard told him a car would be on its way to pick him up.

He had not told anyone he was getting released today. He had not spoken to anyone in a few years, even though they tried to reach out to him. He turned down all visitors but his lawyers and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was court ordered visitations anyway, so he could not deny him. He was grateful to his court ordered psychiatrist, Dr. Muller. He helped him survive the last four plus years in prison. He had to talk to someone about everything that happened or he would have been dead by his own hands, by now.

He reached up and ran his fingers over his neck. The memory of that day would stay with him forever, as would many other painful days.

He sighed heavily and dropped his hand to his side. He walked out closer to the road and saw a car coming in the distance. He hoped it was his taxi so he could get off of these grounds once and for all. He never wanted to look back on that place again.

A black Dodge Charger pulled up. The windows had dark tint on them, making it hard to see who was inside. He felt his heart race as his fears of some kind of retaliation outside of the prison walls was still possible. He knew this was not a taxi and was not sure what was about to happen.

The window rolled down and he half expected to be shot dead right there in front of the prison gates. Instead a face peered out from the driver's side, a face he never in a million years expected to see at this moment.

"Get in, Greg," the man said to him. Greg stood still, not sure what to make of the others man's presence there.

"How did you know?" Greg asked the man in the car. The man took off his sunglasses and offered a sympathetic look.

"Did you honestly think I didn't keep up with what was happening to you, even though you cut all of us out of your life? I never stopped caring, Greg. You're the one who shut us all out when you probably needed us most. Now get in."

Greg was still hesitant. So many emotions were swirling around in his head right now, seeing Nick there for him as he was released from prison. He had wanted Nick and all the others to forget about him, to just write him off. Now here he was, like he was over six years ago, but instead of watching him being taken away off to prison, he was picking him up from there.

Nick saw his hesitance and could understand it. They had not seen each other in almost four years, even though Nick tried sending him letters and any method he was able to reach out to him but never a response. Nick knew Greg dealt with the serious stuff by shutting out those closest to him. Nick at least had updates on him and knew he was doing okay.

"You know, I will come out there and threw you in here if I have to, although you might be harder to do that with these days by the looks of it." Nick marveled as he looked at Greg's more muscular frame.

Greg looked down at himself. Yes, he had done what so many others tend to do in prison and lift weights. Now he was not huge by any means but he had put more definition on his body and had been practicing tai chi more.

He looked down the road to see if a real taxi was coming and did not see anything. He then looked up at the darkening sky.

"It's going to storm soon. I'm the only ride you got coming. What are you going to do?" Nick finally told him.

Greg shook his head, knowing this was going to be a bad idea but started walking towards the car. He saw Nick smile as he opened the door.

"Toss your bag in the back seat," Nick told him. Greg did just that and then got in the passenger seat next to Nick. He looked at him seriously before closing the door.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Greg asked him. Nick went to touch his knee, but noticed Greg flinch so he pulled back. "I'm sure."

"Okay," Greg said and then pulled the door shut. He pulled on his seat belt and just looked straight ahead. He could feel Nick's eyes on him and it made him uncomfortable.

"You look good, Greg, tired but good. I'm proud of you," Nick told him.

Greg sighed deeply and closed his eyes. "Just drive."

They drove in silence for several minutes. Greg could not bring himself to look at Nick, not after everything that had happened.

"I suppose the others know I'm out too, then," Greg finally spoke after a long silence.

"Maybe, I'm not sure they all do but they don't know I came to get you. That I know for sure. Unlike the others, I have not written you off as you wanted to be," Nick told him. "You meant more to me than to give into your insanity."

Greg chuckled a little. "Insanity, is that what you are calling it?"

"Well, you do have a court ordered psychiatrist, don't you?" Nick followed up.

"You got me there, I guess," Greg mused. He stared out the window, watching the trees start to disappear into the more desert land of Las Vegas.

Nick noticed him staring out the window and knew he had to be enjoying being free again to see the world. "It hasn't really changed much," he said to him.

Greg turned his head to him. "Huh?"

"Vegas, it has not changed much," Nick said to him. Greg finally looked at Nick and noticed the lines were a little deeper in his face. He also looked tired.

"No, perhaps not, but I know other things that have." Nick glanced over at him and they seemed to share the same understanding.

Greg had to turn away and clear his throat. "So um, you haven't asked me where you are taking me?"

"You have a place to stay?" Nick asked him, surprised.

"Well, not exactly. I'm just going to house up at some cheap, weekly rental on Fremont," Greg told him.

"I don't think so," Nick replied quickly.

"Look, I've been given a living stipend until I find a job. I'm not living with you," Greg said defiantly.

"You lived with me before this all happened. Why can't you live with me now?" Nick asked him.

Greg looked at him incredulously. "Are you being serious right now? I mean we have not been together in over six years. I've changed a lot since then. I assume you have to."

"Yes, but I don't want to see you living in some rat hole, like some common criminal."

"But Nick, a jury thought I was just that, a common criminal. NO worse than that, a murderer."

Nick shook his head and pulled over to the side of the road. He put the car in park and turned to face Greg. Now they he really looked at Greg closer, he could see how prison had aged him. He had a deep scar over his left eye. He lost his innocent look and it hurt him to see that.

"That fucking jury was wrong. You should have never ended up in prison. You should have never accepted that plea bargain. You were fucking defending yourself. You didn't purposely kill Demetrius James. That's fucking bullshit and you know it! I will never understand why you accepted prison time instead of fighting."

Greg looked at him sheepishly. "I was tired Nick, tired of trying to prove myself in the right. Tired of the media and the public slamming me. Tired of all the crazies coming after us. Everyone ended up happy once the plea bargain was made."

"That's bullshit too and you of all people know it. You aren't happy. Hell, you fucking tried to kill yourself in prison," Nick reminded him.

Greg looked down and played with the edge of the seat. "It doesn't matter now; it's all in the past. What's done is done."

"Yeah that is in the past now. You can at least try to make your future brighter." Nick ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I…I just want to try to make your future brighter."

"Look, I know you mean well, but I need to do this on my own. I got through these last four years pretty well, don't you think? I can do this on my own. If I need help, well I know who to go to," Greg told him, hoping he would understand.

Nick looked towards the road again. The rain was starting to fall on the windshield. "Fine, but I'm here for you if you need anything. That's why I came to pick you up. I want you to know you still have someone here for you." He put the car in drive and pulled out onto the road again.

Greg chewed his bottom lip, thinking about what he said. "Please tell me you have not held out for me all this time."

Nick shook his head but had a slight smile on his face. "You have to know by now that I still love you Greg, but no I have not held out for you. You made your intentions clear by cutting off all communication with any of us, but especially me. I may have had a few bitter flings due to you doing that. But you still have my heart, Greg." He took a glance at his former lover but he was looking out the window away from him.

Nick got nervous when Greg had not replied. "I guess it's not the same for you though by your silence."

Greg had been thinking. He did not know how he felt anymore. His life was turned upside down and he was still fumbling to get it turned right-side up again. "I don't know what to tell you Nick. I'm still numb inside from all the shit I went through. Each day is still a battle just to get up. Sure, I'm on pills and shit to help me feel better but somedays are just really bad. I can't tell you what my heart feels right now because I'm not even sure I have one some days. You are getting me on a good day today. You have not seen me on my bad days. You haven't seen how cold I can be these days. There were days they had to hold me back from getting into a fight for no particular reason other than I was angry with the world. And I will admit I still have days I want to end it all."

Nick felt tears prick his eyes hearing him. He knew he was right in that he didn't really know him at all anymore. He did not know what it has been like for him the last four years since he did not communicate with them. He had no idea how he was. Today he seemed fairly normal for being what he has been through but hearing what he just said made him worry.

"I'm sorry Greg. Maybe you are right, this was a mistake me picking you up, thinking I could make everything right again."

"No, it's not a mistake." Nick looked over and saw Greg looking at him with emotional eyes. "I know I seem ungrateful but honestly, seeing a familiar face. Heck, no not just a familiar face, but the face of probably the one person I needed to see the most on this day has made it that much better." He smiled.

"Thank you for saying that," Nick smiled back.

"No, thank you for not giving in to my stupidity and keeping up with my prison time."

"You're welcome!"

Greg went back to staring out the window, while Nick drove into town.

"I see a place up ahead that you can stop at," Greg told Nick as he saw a halfway decent weekly motel.

"I really wish you would reconsider my offer," Nick said to him as he pulled into the motel lot. He looked around and didn't feel comfortable leaving Greg off here.

"Nick, I've survived over six years in prison, I can handle being at this place," Greg told him.

"What kind of job are you going to try for?" Nick asked him.

"I guess lab jobs that are not in law enforcement," he shrugged.

"Technology has changed a lot in the last few years," Nick told him.

"I know, I've been studying up while in lock up. I still have access to books and online, you know. Heck, it's what kept me from losing my mind. I might be more up to date with some things than you field mice," he grinned.

Nick was glad he could joke about it. "Well, you know I wish you the best of luck. If you need anything, I put my phone number in your phone." He handed him a cell phone.

"You didn't need to get me a phone," Greg told him as he took it from Nick.

"I get it free on my plan," Nick smirked.

"Nice."

"Do you need food or anything?" Nick asked him. He didn't want to leave him yet.

"I'm good. I can get take out for now. Let me go and make sure there is a room for me. You'll hang?" Greg asked him.

Nick frowned at the term. "Yeah, I'll hang."

Greg came back a few minutes later with a room key in his hand.

"So I'll be in room 105, should you need to find me." Greg reached back and grabbed his bag of his few personal belongings out of the back seat. Greg shut the door. He looked in on Nick.

"Thanks again. I do mean it."

"Just stay in touch, please. Otherwise I will be on your doorstep," Nick warned with a warm smile.

"Okay, I promise I'll keep in touch, but with only you. Do not expect me to reach out to anyone else," Greg told him.

"I promise," Nick said with a hold up of his hand. Greg smiled and waved before turning his back on Nick.

"I love you," Nick yelled out to him. He notice Greg stop a moment but he didn't turn around.

Greg closed his eyes. He knew it but he was hoping Nick would not say it. He was not able to reply at this time. He was still too damaged and raw from his time in Prison. "Bye Nick," he said with his back still to him.

Nick chewed his on his lip as he watched Greg open the door to his room and close the door behind him. "I'm not letting you do this alone anymore." Nick said aloud.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Greg put his bag of few belongings down on the table. The room was not too bad. It seemed it had the carpeting replaced not too long ago. The rest of the furnishings were still outdated and worn looking. He threw the bedspread onto the floor and examined the bed. Old CSI habits die hard. Once satisfied it looked clean enough, he laid down on it.

He was exhausted. Between the whole process of getting released from prison and then dealing with Nick, the day felt like it should have been over but it was only 4pm in the afternoon. He was getting hungry. He sat up and pulled out his wallet. He only had $200 and the rent would take half of that for a week. He was kidding himself thinking he would be able to survive on his own for long if he did not find a job quickly. He was an ex-con now basically so his employability was much lower.

He sighed heavily. He had to get some food but he had to watch his money. He should have taken Nick up on his offer. He got up and put his wallet back in his pocket. He walked over to the bathroom area and took a good look at himself in the mirror. He had not had a good mirror to look in years. He hardly recognized the face looking back at him. He pronounced scar over his left eye brought back a memory he tried to push to the dark, back corner of his mind. His face had a fewer, less obvious scars scattered about from his early prison days. His face was well defined. He may have gained some muscle in his upper body but his face showed the stressful life he had been living. To him, his eyes stood out more than ever.

He looked down at what he was wearing. He had on black pants and a light blue, button down shirt. It was what he had been wearing the day he was sent to prison. They still fit him even though the shirt was a little tighter on him. He had a tie in his bag. This would have to do for interview wear.

He decided he needed to go to the convenience store they passed on the way and grab some food and perhaps a newspaper for jobs.

He came back a half hour later with a loaf of bread, peanut butter and jelly. He also got a box of cereal, milk, and water. They had provided his toothbrush and toothpaste he had been using at the Prison. Luckily his hair was cut short enough that it didn't need any styling. He did not like his hair this short but it worked for the last few years.

He had picked up a free jobs paper they had at the store. He made himself a PB&J sandwich and drank some water with his pills he had to take. He thought about everything he had to do the next day. He would have to see his parole officer the next day and get that part of the whole process over with. Then he could try looking for a job.

He had been mentally trying to prepare himself for all of this before he left prison but now that he was sitting in this lonely motel room, thinking about what had to be done, it was becoming overwhelming.

"What was I thinking? I'm nobody now. I'm less than nobody." He buried his face in his hands.

A few seconds later he heard ringing. He looked up and did not see the room phone ringing. Then he remembered the cell phone Nick gave him. He picked it up and realized he did not know how to answer it. This was unlike any cell phone he ever had. He looked and saw it said swipe right to answer so he did and a voice came out of the phone.

"Hello Greg?" He put the phone to his ear. "Nick?"

"Yeah, it's me. I just wanted to check in on you. How is the room?"

Greg wiped at the tears that had been falling previous to him calling. "It's okay," he answered quietly.

Nick still knew Greg well enough to tell when he was upset. "What happened? What's wrong?" He asked with concern.

Greg chuckled sadly. "I guess you still know me better than I thought. I didn't even know how to properly answer this damn phone, how fucked up is that?"

Nick heard the anguish in his voice. "Do you want me to come over?"

"No." He laid his head down on the table as he held the phone to his ear. "I need to at least try to work this out on my own."

"Greg, don't you understand? You are still punishing yourself for something you should have never been punished for in the first place! Why won't you let me help you?"

"It's just something I need to do, please you need to understand. I'm just exhausted and need some sleep. I haven't been able to sleep in a real bed in almost 7 years. I need to be alone for now. The room is not that bad. The carpet actually seems somewhat new," he said with his own amusement.

"What's your plan for tomorrow?"

Greg told Nick what his plans were. Nick figured he would have to see a parole officer. "Do you know who your parole officer is?"

Greg pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "His name is Tony Hughes."

"I know him. He's a good guy. I'm glad they gave you a good guy. I was worried they would try to give you a shithead." Nick told him.

"Glad to know that hopefully won't be the case. Look, thanks for the phone. I guess I have to try to figure out how to use this thing. It's not like the ones I used to use."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I kind of forgot that you have not had a chance to use one in years. Let me just tell you a few things about it." Nick tried to explain to him that he could actually access the internet via the phone too. He had data on his plan.

"You can even play games if you get bored," Nick added as the last thought.

"Wow, thanks. I guess I am behind the times after all. And here I thought I was keeping up with stuff," he said, not feeling as confident about his studying as he did before.

"You'll be fine. There are plenty of people out there who know you and thought you got a horrible sentence. I'm sure you'll see it once you get out there," Nick tried telling him to calm his doubts.

"We'll see. I think I just really need to take a shower and get some sleep. I know it's early but I feel like I could sleep for days right now," Greg admitted to him.

"Okay, I'll call you tomorrow some time. I do work, so I'll try to catch you before it's too late."

"Thanks Nick, I appreciate it. I'm not sure I deserve all this from you after how I pushed you away," Greg sighed heavily.

"Babe, you can try to push me away but I'm going to be there for you no matter what."

Hearing Nick call him 'Babe' like he used to before his life was destroyed in a single night broke him. He couldn't talk to him anymore that moment.

"Okay, yeah. I…I gotta go now. Goodnight." He pulled the phone away from his ear and prayed it hit the right button to hang up the call.

He needed to clear his head. He got up and took off his clothes. He walked into the bathroom and started running the tub water. He waited until it was warm and stepped in to turn on the shower head. It was the first time he was able to shower alone and felt safe.

He stood under the water for a long time before just grabbing the soap and thoroughly cleansing himself. He forgot how wonderful it really was to take a shower. Too many times in prison shower time was hell for him. Amazingly enough due to his counseling with Dr. Muller while he was in prison, he was able to successfully take a shower without freaking out.

He finally stepped out and dried off. He walked up to the main room door to make sure it was still locked.

He crawled into bed in nothing but his underwear, since he didn't have anything else to sleep in. The pillows were not the greatest but anything was better than a prison cell bed. He closed his eyes and was out like a light.

Nick figured his use of the word 'Babe' is why Greg hung up so quickly. He could not help himself from using it. He missed Greg and was so happy he was finally free. He just wished they had remained in touch while he was incarcerated but he could not force Greg to see him.

He had been lonely the last couple of years since most of the team had moved on. He knew Greg was not aware of this and it was actually one of the reasons no one else seemed to care he was released.

Warrick was the first to go. He left to move for his wife who got a much better job in Colorado. He ended up finding a job on the CSI unit in Denver. It was not the crime capital that Las Vegas was but he was glad for the change.

The next ones to leave were Grissom and Sara. Grissom got a job teaching in France and Sara finally went to join him a year later, after missing him.

Catherine was the last one of the original team to leave. She had just got a job with the FBI Quantico lab in the last six months, before Greg's parole hearing came up.

Some of the lab techs remained, like Hodges and Henry and there was Doc Robbins but it was not the same. His new boss, D.B. Russell was an interesting character and a good guy, good enough for Nick to stick around.

But the true reason Nick stuck around Las Vegas was Greg. He knew Greg would be released eventually and he did not want him to be alone when he came out. He was surprised Greg never did try to reach out when he heard he would be released. He was stubborn still, which made him feel better. He was worried that after his suicide attempt in prison that Greg would just become suppressed. He thought that was why he quit communication with all of them. Apparently he was wrong. He was proud to see how strong and level headed he seemed. He knew he would have his moments. He knew his first two years in prison before his suicide attempt were the worst. He only knew a little of what he went through. Unfortunately since Greg had been a CSI, there were many in there who knew who he was and took advantage of his being in their presence.

Nick just wanted to protect Greg from any further harm, now that he had some control over the circumstances. But Greg had others ideas apparently. He wanted to try to work it out on his own and he had to give him credit again on his strength. He sold him short, thinking he would need him right away.

Still Nick knew that if Greg did not find a job within a week, he would not even be able to stay at that motel anymore. He hoped Greg would come around and come back to live with him, as he had before the whole Demetrius James incident.

Nick was still furious that Greg had given into the plea bargain so easily. His weakness then was why he thought he would barely survive as well as he did the last few years away.

Nick thought back to that fateful day. If he had been with Greg that night, none of this probably would have happened.

Greg was called to the scene where Sofia had some evidence for him to collect. On his way back from the scene, he came across another beating in progress. He called in for help but the ETA was five minutes. Greg had decided to try to chase them off by turning down the alley and turning on his sirens and beeping his horn. All but one left, Demetrius James was his name. Greg said that the kid had picked up a brick and was going to finish off the victim but instead came towards the truck at him. Greg made a split second decision and put his foot on the gas and ran the kid down. When he stopped, he looked around, half expecting for the others to come back but instead he heard sirens in the distance. He was there alone for about a minute before the shock wore off of what he had done. He finally got out of the SUV and checked on the kid. He was bleeding badly from his head but still alive. He then checked on the older man to see if he was still alive and he was.

Soon Sofia and other cops were on the scene. Nick and Warrick came soon after. They came in time to see Sofa walking to the back of her squad car with Greg. Greg did not have cuffs on but he seemed to be in shock. Nick tried asking what was going on and Brass told him that Greg had hit the kid with his SUV when he tried to throw a brick through his window.

A few hours later Demetrius James died and Greg was suspended indefinitely. Everyone with the force agreed it was self-defense but the outside world did not see it that way. In his coroner's inquest the act was found criminal, which led to a murder trial. Greg was tried for Involuntary Manslaughter. He ended up taking a plea bargain for ten years in prison with the possibility of parole after 6 years. That is what he ended up doing.

The last time Nick had physically seen Greg was three years ago, on his birthday. He managed to get the guard to tell Greg that his lawyer was there so he came to the visitors' room. Once he saw it was Nick, he turned around and said he wanted to go back to his cell. Nick pleaded with him to let him just say something to him. Greg would not have any of it. As the guard had led him out, Nick yelled happy birthday to him.

Nick was not sure why he still came for him after the way he treated him. But the problem was he still loved Greg and he knew Greg was a good man and did not deserve to be in prison at all. He hated thinking of him in that prison all that time. He can only imagine what happened to him in there.

He hoped Greg would come around and let him into his life again. They had been a couple for four years prior to all of that. He still loved Greg and he missed him terribly. He would not give up on him and he was going to show that to him.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Thanks for the positive reviews so far. Here is another update._

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He shot up in bed, startled awake from his own scream. He looked around, trying to get his bearings as to where he was. He finally calmed down some when he realized he was in the motel room and not back in his prison cell. He had slept with a light on, knowing he might awake in the middle of the night unsure of where he was. The only thing is it seemed it was still daylight. He had only slept an hour or two, he thought to himself.

He picked up the cell phone he had sitting on the nightstand and saw the time. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" It was already 9:10am the next morning. He slept way completely through to the next day. His appointment with his parole officer was at 9:30am. He still had to get ready and then catch transportation to get to the office. He was going to be late and that was something that would be really bad on his first day checking in.

He sprang out of bed and went to his bag to rummage through his paperwork. He found the phone number to his parole officer. He took the cell phone and dialed his number.

"Tony Hughes, please," he asked when a secretary answered the phone.

"May I ask who is calling," she asked. He told her his name and she told him to hold one moment.

"Tony here," a gruff voice came on the phone.

"Mr. Hughes, it is Greg Sanders. I'm so sorry, I just woke up. I'm going to be late. I must have slept through my alarm. I still have to catch transportation to get to there. Please don't hold this against me," he said with some panic in his voice.

"Sanders, is it? It's okay kid. Do you think you will make it by 10:30am?"

Greg knew he could make it by then, so he said yes. His parole officer said he will see him then and hung up.

Greg breathed a sigh of relief. He thought for sure he was destined to be in trouble. He was assuming he was not based on his response.

Greg took a quick shower and re-dressed in his clothes from yesterday. He knew he was going to have to somehow get something else to wear. He never realized how difficult it was when you got released from prison and trying to make it on your own. No wonder so many failed so quickly and were back in prison a short time later. He was not going to let that be him. He never wanted to step foot in there again.

An hour later, the bus dropped him off at an office building down the street from where he used to work, LVPD Crime Lab. He felt some nerves being that close to the complex. He prayed he did not run into anyone who knew him well while he was here.

He went up to the 5th floor offices for the parole officers and waited until he was called in to see his Parole Officer. As he waited, he saw a couple other guys waiting. One guy looked a bit worse for the wear, while the other was dressed in a suit and tie. Greg guessed he fell somewhere in between the two at the moment.

His name was called and he followed the secretary into one of the offices. He stepped through the door and saw an older man, with gray hair sitting behind a desk. He stood up and was at least three inches taller than Greg. He intimidated him and felt nervous again about being late.

He reached out his hand for Greg to shake. "Tony Hughes and you must be Greg Sanders. Your face looks familiar."

Greg shook his hand. "Yeah, I suppose it does with all the media coverage my case got and everything thereafter."

"Take a seat," Tony said to him. Greg sat across the paperwork filled desk from him. Tony sat down and leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, your case was everywhere. I guess the good thing is that your release has been off their radar so far. I guess they don't care anymore." His voice was still gruff sounding and had a touch of New York in it.

"Yeah, I guess that is good. Look, I wanted to say again how sorry I am about being late," Greg was still nervous about consequences.

"Look kid, I'm going to be honest with you. I know all about you and I think you were an idiot for taking that plea bargain. You should have never served time, let alone as much as you did. Nobody ever said our justice system was the best.

"I know you struggled when you first were in prison. I also know you picked yourself up and really turned the prison life around and made something of it. They told me you spent all the time you could in the library reading, studying your craft. I like to hear that. I know you're a good guy. I doubt I have to worry much about you, but do try to be on time next time."

Greg breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Yes Sir."

"I know Nick and I know you two were together before all this. I am hoping you are letting him assist you. It's not easy getting out of prison with no one there to help you. Don't be an idiot again and turn down any help. Haven't you suffered enough?"

Greg looked down. Apparently he really was an idiot; he took that horrible plea deal and now he was ignoring Nick's help. He had suffered a lot and he still did from nightmares and other things. "Yes, Sir," he said quietly.

"Look Greg, I'm not here to bust your balls. You do what you feel is best, but remember just because I am going light on you since you were formally in law enforcement and really didn't commit a real crime, as far as I am concerned, I still have to follow the law. So if you do anything that breaks the terms of your parole, I will have to haul you in. Do you understand?"

Greg nodded. "Yes, I do."

Tony shook his head. "You are a man of few words," he chuckled. "So what are your plans?"

Greg finally lifted his head again and looked at Tony. "Once I leave here I plan on applying to a few of the labs here in town to see if they need a tech. I'm hoping I'm still hirable since I've been studying up on the latest techniques, even though I have not put them into practice.

"Can you be honest with me and tell me what my chances are in getting a job now that I have a prison record?" he asked, feeling he needed to know if his hopes were too high.

Tony leaned forward in his chair and stared at him with his steel, blue eyes. "Honestly, I think they would be idiots if they didn't hire you. You were one of the top DNA techs in the country before you left the lab. What happened that sent you to prison, that was a tragedy. It never should have happened. I am on the side of believing what you did was self-defense, but the world we live in now sees these things differently when a cop is involved. There have been many other cops that were far guiltier than you ever prayed to be but they got off. The court decided to make you their poster child for cracking down on these incidents here in this city. They picked the wrong person. I could name a couple others that should have served the time you served but they came before your case. Since your case many more are being prosecuted and sent to jail. But you…nah kid, you should not have gone. I know you're smart and probably caved to the pressure that was placed on you. It's a damn shame though. Nobody comes out of prison the same, I know that. I can see that in you."

Greg felt emotions swirling in his eyes. "Yeah, I guess." He lowered his head again and closed his eyes, trying to keep tears from coming.

"Look, I think you'll do fine out there. Again, the smart ones should take you in a heartbeat, ignoring that you were in prison. Just when you get that job offer and accept it, let me know who and where so I can update your paperwork. We'll go with a bi-weekly check in for now and then perhaps decrease to monthly after all seems to be going well, okay?"

Greg took a deep, clearing breath before raising his head and opening his eyes again. He looked at Tony, who seemed genuinely concerned for him. "Yes, that sounds good. Thank you…I mean really, thank you for everything you've said to me today. I seem to have forgotten I still have people that got my back."

"No worries, Kid. Now go out there and get yourself a job so I can put you on my not-to-worry about list," Tony smiled.

"I'll do my best." With that Tony stood up and offered to shake Greg's hand again. They set up an appointment for two weeks from today to check in again on his status. Should he get a job before then, he was to call and let him know the details.

Greg stepped out on the street in front of the office and took a deep breath of fresh air. He felt better now that that was over. He still was not as confident people would hire him.

He pulled out his cell phone and noticed the power was low. Nick never gave him a charger. He supposed he was going to have to ask him about that. He pulled up the address he plugged into the phone for his first job search stop. It was just down the street, so he could walk there. Luckily it was going away from the police area. He did not want to have to walk past the LVPD.

His first stop was Quantum Labs. He remembered sending some stuff for them to process when the lab at work got backed up. He did not know anyone who worked there personally, so his chances were going to be the same.

They told him they were not hiring at the moment but had him fill out an application. When the clerk looked over his application, she asked him why there was a large time frame with no work. He choked out that he was in prison. She pursed her lips a moment and jotted something down on his application. She looked up at him and seemed to be pondering if he looked dangerous or not.

"We will keep it on file and let you know if anything comes open. Thank you!"

He walked out, feeling his confidence slightly shattered. He looked down at his hands and they were shaking. He clutched them tightly and took a few breaths. One application in and he was already being treated like nobody.

His next stop was Freedom Laboratories. He had to catch the bus for this one. It was further away.

The bus dropped him off a quarter of a mile down the road from the office building. He could see it ahead, all gleaming glass on an eight story building.

He took a few more of those deep calming breaths he learned to take from his psychiatrist when he felt the stress and jitters coming on. He then stepped through the door into the huge lobby. Ahead there was a large reception desk. People were walking all around, catching elevators and going through doors.

He stepped up to the desk and cleared his throat. "Hi, I was wondering if you are hiring for lab technicians."

A younger man behind the desk looked at him and held up a finger. He seemed to be digging in a drawer. He pulled out an application and handed it to Greg. "You can take this and fill it out over there." He pointed to a table by the windows. "Once you are done, bring it back and if you have your resume, attach it."

Greg just nodded and took the application and a pen from the gentleman. He sat down at the table and looked at the application. It was a very detailed one. He was filling it out and got to the part that asked if he had a criminal record. He felt like giving up right there and leaving, but he went on. It asked what he was charged with. When he started writing 'Involuntary Manslaughter' he felt like he was having an out of body experience. He always had difficulty saying his crime out loud to other inmates if they had asked. He did not believe it was ever possible he would be saying those charges would be his.

When he finished filling it out a few minutes later, he pulled out a resume he had printed up while still in prison. He attached it and looked at how it ended in 2007. Nothing was listed after that. He spent over a year just going through the various trials before they offered the plea bargain and was sent to prison. It was 2015 now and he realized how much of his life had been wasted.

He stood up, feeling most of his confidence gone, and walked back to the reception desk. The young man was talking to an older man and nodded towards Greg as he approached the desk. Greg felt like they might have already ID him and were going to have him escorted off property.

Greg slid his resume and application over the counter to the young man. The older man picked it up and looked at it. He was looking at his resume part first. Greg was waiting for the part to come where he said they were not hiring right now but will keep his stuff on file, meaning trashing it.

"Greg Sanders, is it?" The older man looked at him to clarify. "Yes."

"I see." The man continued paging through the application and seemed to stop on the page that asked about having a record. Greg felt his hands start to shake. He clutched them tightly, hoping to stop it without anyone noticing. He was trying to take calming breaths without being too noticeable.

The man finally looked up from the paperwork and waved him over. "Mr. Sanders, can you step aside with me here?" Greg's shaking was getting worse and he tried hiding it by putting his hands in his pockets as the followed the man over to the side to talk privately, apparently.

"Hi Greg, I am Thomas Gaylor." He held out his hand to shake Greg's. Greg was hesitant to pull out his hand since he was still shaking but he had to. Thomas took his hand and shook it. He looked down and noticed when Greg quickly put his hands back in his pockets.

"Take a seat, Greg. You don't have to be nervous." Greg took a seat at the table he had just been sitting at to fill out the application. Mr. Gaylor sat across from him.

"I know who you are, Mr. Sanders. I know your reputation from being at the Las Vegas Crime Lab all those years. I also know your most recent history and appreciate you being honest on your application. Most aren't but we look them up anyway and discover it one way or another, so being you were honest already makes me feel better.

"I run the DNA and Toxicology departments here. We are always looking for qualified lab technicians to help us with our work. We get work from hospitals and even LVPD these days. Plus we have our own experimental labs, where we are trying to develop new drugs to help those with cancer and other diseases.

"So tell me, since you have been in prison, have you kept up with anything? I know it is not exactly possible to work in prison but there are always books and medical journals."

Greg could not speak for a moment. This guy was actually interested in him. His shaking was subsiding. "Uh, yeah. I mean yes, I have been studying as much as I was able to when I was in prison. You can ask my psychiatrist." He almost kicked himself for saying that. Now he knew he was seeing a psychiatrist too, point against him for sure. Idiot!

"Oh, I see. Does your psychiatrist help with that hand shaking you are hiding? Because that could be a problem in the lab, if you are handling possibly volatile substances," he told him.

"Yes, he is helping with that. It's anxiety but I'm pretty good at controlling it most of the time. Just today has been a little trying," he admitted.

"I gather you have been other places, applying for jobs and they turn you down quickly?"

"Yeah, something like that."

Mr. Gaylor smiled at him. "Well, lucky for you, I know of you and your top notch work back in the day. I have no doubt that you could be at that work level again if given the chance."

Greg closed his eyes and shook his head before opening them again. "So what are you saying, exactly?"

"I'm saying that I have a position open in my lab that I think you would be a great fit for," Mr. Gaylor smiled again.

"Mr. Gaylor, you're offering me a job? Like right now?" Greg was genuinely shocked.

"Yes, that is what I am saying. Now I will have to get with my HR people to work out details like pay and benefits, but I trust that you aren't the horrible person the media made you out to be. I knew your former boss, Mr. Grissom before he left town. He spoke highly of all his lab techs, but especially of you when you left the lab. He said your presence in the lab was always missed but you wanted a change."

"You knew Gil Grissom? And wait, he left town? Sorry, I am out of the loop on most things current in town," he confessed.

"Yes, Gil left to teach in France at a university there. I believe your former co-worker, Sara Sidle and he married and they moved there together. Gil and I had a shared passion for roller coasters," he laughed fondly at an obvious memory.

Greg was just trying to grasp that Sara and Grissom got married and moved away. He really had been out of the loop. It was also no wonder they never tried to keep communication with him, with them being overseas and all.

Thomas Gaylor noticed the younger man trying to absorb all the information he told him. "Did you provide a contact number on your application?"

"Yes Sir." Greg replied.

"Please, don't call me Sir. You can call me Tom if you are going to be working in my lab."

"Really? Wow, I never thought…"

"That you would find a job in this town? I think you need to boost your confidence some. Perhaps work on that with your doctor next time you see him. You're well educated and experienced, Greg. It would be a shame to let talent like you go to waste."

Greg was still in disbelief. Maybe he did need to work on boosting his confidence. He looked Mr. Gaylor straight in the eyes. "You'll never know how much I appreciate you giving me this chance."

"Well let me work it out with my HR and I will get back to you in a day or two. I would like to get you starting as soon as possible, once we have the details worked out." The older man stood up and held out his hand.

This time when Greg took the hand to shake, his own was steady. He was no longer shaking. He was feeling the best he had felt in years.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Thank you all for the nice reviews. With this chapter I just want to remind you that I am no legal expert and I know I am probably not accurate with the details of what would happen in real life, but this is why it's fiction, based on fictional characters. :) Enjoy!_

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Greg returned back to his motel room an hour later. He had stopped to get a fast food meal on the way home. He realized he had never eaten anything for breakfast. It was probably another reason he had been shaking some.

He lay back on the bed, with his hands behind his head. He stared up at the slightly grungy ceiling. "One day out of prison and you already have a job offer. How can this be?" He asked himself. He really thought his chances of finding a decent job outside of fast food joints or convenience stores were hopeless. Perhaps what Nick and his parole officer told him was true, people out there really did see his innocence.

He thought back to the day the plea bargain was put on the table to him by his lawyer. He had already been dragged through the mud and back by the media and the protests that broke out citywide, calling for his head.

 _"Listen Greg, the DA has put a deal on the table that will prevent you from having to go through what could be a very long trial, during which time you will still have to have protection from those who wish you harm. I know that has put a ton of stress on you, having no job, worrying about yourself and Nick's safety from those crazies that burned your car. The DA has a very strong case against you. If there had not been that bad angle video in that alleyway, you might be in the clear but it is your word against many of those who witnessed it, even though they took part in the beating._

 _"The deal is that you will be sentenced for Involuntary Manslaughter and set to serve 10 years in prison, with parole possible after 6 years. If we go to trial and you are found guilty, which is a very good chance, you will serve at least 20 years in prison. If you take this deal, Nick will be safe again and the community will see that justice is served," his lawyer told him._

 _"Justice is served? I didn't purposely kill him. It was in self-defense…how can I serve prison time for something I didn't do on purpose?" Greg yelled back at him. He was at his wits end by then. He had actually discovered his first gray hair the other day. He knew it was from the stress he was under. He lived in fear for his life and for Nick's after coming home the one day to find his car burning in their front yard. They knew where he lived, the media followed his every move, and he had no peace._

 _"I know Greg, I know but a jury will not see it that way. You already had one jury who didn't see it that way, which is why you are here now. How much longer do you want to live like this?" His lawyer asked._

 _Greg was exhausted and knew he could not take it much longer._

 _The DA had entered the room. "Have you heard the plea deal? Are you going to take it Greg? It's really best at this point. Look, we will make sure if you are in prison, you are placed under special protection. Nothing will happen to you."_

Greg frowned, remembering that promise. It was complete bullshit. He took the fall and then he really took the punishment in prison.

He sat up and suddenly felt the need to practice his tai chi. He took off his tie and shirt and stood at the foot of his bed. He took a few deep, calming breaths before getting into his stance. He started stretching his arms out and pulling them in, in the graceful motion that tai chi had.

Five minutes in and he felt a lot of the tension that had built up by the memory leave his body. He was startled by a knock at his door.

He walked over to the door. There was no peephole so he asked who was at the door.

"It's Nick. I decided to stop by before work."

He relaxed the tension that had briefly built in him and unlocked the door to open it.

He opened the door and saw Nick with a bag in his hand. He noticed Nick silently looking him up and down and realized he still had his shirt off.

"Uh, come in," he said bashfully. He quickly grabbed his shirt and put it back on.

Nick was shocked at seeing his body. He really had more defined muscles but he also had seen the few scars that littered his chest. Some of those prison beatings he got early on still lived on his body.

"Hey, I brought you a few things I thought you could use." He threw the duffle bag on the table. "I still have most of your stuff in storage. I have a box or two I keep in the house and got these clothes out of it. I hope they still fit. I mean, usually you wore stuff kind of baggy anyway, back then," Nick shrugged.

Greg walked over and looked in the bag. He saw a couple of his old, beloved t-shirts and a couple pair of looser fitting pants. Casual clothes are what he needed right now and he was grateful Nick had brought them.

He dug in further and pulled out a cord that had a plug. He pointed to it and asked, "I assume this is for the phone you gave me?"

Nick ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, sorry about that. I forgot that yesterday. I figured your phone is nearly dead now, since I tried to call you and got voice mail."

Greg pulled the phone out of his pocket and checked. Nick was right, it was dead. He took it and plugged it into the outlet by the nightstand. "Thanks, this has come in handy." He noticed Nick looking around the room.

"It's not that bad, really," Greg said sheepishly.

"I guess compared to prison, it probably isn't."

"Exactly!"

Nick took a seat at the table while Greg sat down on the edge of the bed. "So how did today go so far?" Nick asked him.

Greg suddenly smiled and Nick thought it was beautiful. "I think I got a job already. I mean he just said he needs to clear it with HR and work out the details and stuff. He said he will call me back in a day or two to let me know for sure."

"Wow, that's fantastic Greg. Who and where is this place?" Greg started filling him in on the first job bust and then the second job excitement.

"He knew Grissom? Wow, I didn't think Grissom knew many people outside of work," Nick said with some amusement.

"Yeah, I know. Say, so who else is still at the lab anyway?" Greg decided to ask Nick.

"Well, these days the only ones that have not moved out of town are Hodges, Henry, and Doc Robbins. The place lost something very special after you were gone. It's never been the same. Everyone started looking for jobs elsewhere. They were repulsed by what this city did to you," he told him somberly.

"And you?" Greg asked him. He wanted to hear him say why he had not moved on.

Nick smiled sadly at him. "You know why. You were still nearby. Granted, you were in state prison several hours away, but you were still here. I knew one day you would be coming home again."

Nick stood up and walked over to Greg, pulling something out of his pocket. "That being said, I have something for you. You don't have to do anything with it, but I want you to have it to know you are always welcome to stay with me." He had pulled out a keychain with a key on it.

He looked at Greg, who seemed hesitant. "Hold out your hand." Greg held his palm out and Nick put the key in his hand. He closed Greg's hand around it. Greg looked up at him with wonder.

"You still want me to live with you, don't you," he said more matter of fact than a question.

"Yes, the address is on the back of the keychain. It's also in your cell phone. You know I had to move after everything. I couldn't stay there anymore, since the media was still hounding me even after you were gone. This place has three bedrooms. One I turned into an office, the other has a queen size bed in it and everything. My parents have stayed there on a couple occasions when they have come to visit. You can stay in the bedroom. I'm not asking you to come back to our bed. I know time has passed and things have changed. I just want you to have a decent start. Once you get your feet planted back firmly on the ground, if you want to move out, you are free to do so. I just can't stand seeing you stay in a place like this when you have a perfectly good place waiting for you. I won't crowd you. Heck, if you get this job, we may not even see each other that much. I am sure we will be on different work schedules. I just want you to be successful Greg. You don't have to take the hard road. Haven't you already traveled that road over and over again in the last few years? Give yourself a break."

Greg swallowed hard and looked down at the key. "I'll think about it." He heard Nick sigh. He couldn't look at him, knowing he just disappointed him. He did not want to make promises he might not be able to keep.

Nick looked at his watch and stepped back from Greg. "I have to get going to work. Think about it. You are free to go whenever you decide. The security code is the same we had before. I hope you at least remember that."

Greg looked up at the disappointed face of Nick Stokes. He felt terrible but he could at least give him this. "I remember. I'll always remember that day. It's one of the best days of my life." He earned a small smile from Nick.

"Good to hear. You think about that day and think of my offer. I've got to be leaving now. Lock that door behind me. This place still gives me the creeps," he smirked as he left.

Greg followed him to the door. He grabbed Nick's hand before he left. Nick turned around, looking down at his hand in Greg's and then up into those huge chocolate pools.

"Thanks for the stuff. And well everything. I'll think about it, I promise. You take care," Greg smiled at him warmly.

Nick so badly just wanted to kiss him, since they were so close but he knew that move might scare him away at this point.

"You're welcome. You are always welcome, Greg." He squeezed his hand tightly before letting go and leaving him behind.

Greg locked the door behind him and went back and slumped in the chair. He looked at the key in his hand. He looked at the pendant on the keychain. It was a little house in silver. He turned it over and saw engraved on the backside was the address. Smart and yet not so smart if he lost the keys and they fell into the wrong hands. He would not let that happen.

He went over to the bed and looked at the cell phone. It already had some juice in it. He pulled up Google Maps and noticed the address had already been searched. He had to chuckle a little seeing how Nick really did think of everything. He put in his current location and directions to the house. It was about 20 minutes away, on the good side of town. Of course, where Greg was now was close to the LVPD, as typically the police stations are located in the older, not so good area of cities. LVPD was only about 10 minutes' drive from his current location.

He looked at the house location again and noticed the satellite setting. He chose that and zoomed in to see the house. It looked really nice, nicer than their old house. He looked up and around his current living conditions. He chewed on his lower lip and looked back at the house image. He felt anxiety kick in at the thought of living with Nick again.

There was no bad breakup or anything. It was simply Greg pulling away from Nick as the case closed in around him. Once he was sentenced, the distance became real, as he was shipped away to Prison. Nick would visit him early on, especially after all the times he ended up in the infirmary from an injury he sustained in a beating from a "fight." That's what they called them but truly it was a plain old beating he received since he was not in the protected area he was promised to be in.

Things got worse when they moved him to another area of the prison. Those prisoners were interested in things other than beating him up. He shook his head, pushing those thoughts into the dark corner of his mind again. Those other things had driven him to try to take his life though. He had tried hanging himself but his attempt was caught in time by a guard.

He remembered seeing the pained look in Nick's eyes that first visit he was allowed after the attempt. He hated that he caused it, he also hated that Nick was still holding on to him. That was when he decided to cut off all communication to those on the outside. He refused visits from them and refused to read any mail he received or reply to it.

There was only the one time Nick had the guard work with him and fool Greg into thinking he was seeing his lawyer. He remembered seeing Nick's face as he entered the visitor's room. He immediately turned around and asked to be taken back to his cell. He heard Nick call him name and beg him to talk to him. He turned back to see those tear-filled eyes of Nick and shook his head before heading out. The last thing he heard Nick yell was "Happy Birthday, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday." Greg had forgotten it was even his birthday. After being in prison for almost five years at that point, he no longer knew what day it was half the time. He only knew how many days he had been in there, which was the only thing he kept track of.

Since that day, Greg never heard from Nick again until he pulled up yesterday to pick him up at Prison. He still could not believe he acted like nothing had happened. Suddenly Greg felt mad at Nick. Why was he not angry with him for the way he treated him? Why was he being so nice to him after he treated him like shit? But then he knew the answer, as Nick had already told him a few times, he was punishing himself for something he should have never been punished for in the first place. He had already suffered so much. Those memories he had in the dark place in his mind was where his real pain was kept.

He looked down and noticed his hands were shaking again. "Damn it!" He threw the keys across the room and then clenched his fists. He heard in his mind his doctor telling him to calm down and think of those happier times. The thing was, those happier times always involved Nick. When he was with Nick, he was happiest.

He thought of that day he would never forget. Greg had been working on his assessment to be a CSI. He had just thought he failed the exam when Nick and Warrick both told him Grissom wanted to see him. He was ready to get the word he had failed again and would never be a CSI. To his surprise, they fooled him and had a dummy in Grissom's chair spin around that had a sign saying he passed.

 _They all came to congratulate him. Nick put his hand on his shoulder and whispered to him that they would have a private celebration later. He smirked and then left to get working on his case. Greg could not wait for their private celebration. They had been dating for at least a year if not longer, in private at that time._

 _Greg later cornered Nick in the locker room. "Where's the celebration tonight? Your place or mine?"_

 _Nick just smiled at him. He took his hand and put something in it. Greg opened his hand and saw it was a set of keys. "Your place?"_

 _Nick smiled wider. "I want it to be my place all the time. I want to come home with you on a daily basis. I want to wake up with you on a daily basis. Will you move in with me?"_

 _Greg remembered fondly hardly being able to contain his excitement. He had waited for the day that Nick would ask him to move in. "If I say yes, does this mean we will be telling the others about us?"_

 _"If you say yes, that is what it means." Nick was finally willing to go public that he was gay and in love with Greg Sanders. Greg wanted to jump up and down he was so happy._

"Yeah, that was a good day," he smiled fondly at the memory. He looked down at his hands and he was no longer shaking.

He walked across the room and picked up the keychain. Nick made him happy before. Could Nick make him happy again? _'Stop punishing yourself,'_ he heard him again in his head.

He squeezed the keys in his hands. "I'm going to try, Nick. I'm going to try."

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: I finally got around to posting again. It's been a couple of crazy weeks. Last weekend we had to deal with Hurricane Irma, which was not fun but we came through it okay. I'm just sick now but being sick gives me writing time. So here is a new chapter.  
_

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He had just enough cash left on him to take a bus close to the subdivision. He walked the rest of the way. He had changed into his old casual clothes. They still fit but were a little snugger than before. He was kind of proud of himself that he managed to gain weight and then some muscle after his first two years in prison of becoming sickly thin.

He noticed a neighbor in the yard, watching him as he approached the house on foot. He knew they probably thought he was trying to break in, but he pulled out the key and it opened the door. For a moment he thought it might not. He heard the buzz of the alarm and quickly stepped inside and put his bag down. He punched in that date for the code and the alarm was off. He smiled that he had kept that code after all this time.

He finally got to turn around and take a look at the place. It was weird walking into his house, having never seen it before. He did kind of feel like a criminal breaking in, but he was invited and had a key and the code even.

It was a small foyer that led into a smaller dining room on the side and stairs on the other side. He walked straight back and ended up in the living room with the kitchen off to the side. The room was furnished with much of the same furniture that had been in their previous house, it was just a different layout. He looked out towards the patio doors and had to get closer to get a better look.

"No way!" He exclaimed as he looked out the patio doors to a small pool. He guessed Nick must have earned some pay increase to get a house with a pool in Vegas. It's funny; he realized he had not asked him much about how the job was. He only knew who was still there from the original team but nothing else. He would have to ask him about his job later.

He walked into the kitchen and approved of the size. It was not too big but not too small either. It looked like a fairly new house, overall. Their other one had been an older house that was built in the 60's. This was definitely a more modern house.

He grabbed his bags and went upstairs to check out the bedrooms. He reached the top and noticed the first door on the right was the office. He saw a desk with a computer sitting at it. He noticed a side table with papers all over. He walked in out of curiosity and saw they were old newspapers. Looking closer he realized they were cut outs of articles about him and his trial. Nick had them on this side table out in the open, like he had been looking at them recently.

He picked up one and frowned when he saw the headline. "Demetrius James' killer attempts suicide in prison." It was one of the papers that were on top. He realized Nick was still thinking about that time period a lot. Perhaps he was worried he was going to try it again now that he was out of prison.

Greg put the paper back down. He had thoughts still but things had improved since those days. The memories were the things that probably dragged him back down if anything.

He browsed over his desk and saw a calendar. It had circled in yellow his release date and even had Greg's Release Day written over it.

He stepped back. It was almost like Nick was obsessed with him but overall he knew better than that. Nick never stopped loving him and had not given up on him.

He stepped out of the room and saw the next door on the right was a bathroom. To his left he saw what he guessed was the guest bedroom; the room he would be using. It was decent size. He walked in and placed his bag of things on the bed. It was definitely a palace compared to that motel room, he now realized.

He wanted to look at one more room. He stepped out and headed towards the door to the back of the hallway. He figured it was the Master Bedroom. He walked in and saw the king sized bed. It was still the same headboard and nightstands they had before.

Curiosity got to him and he walked over and opened one of the nightstand drawers. He found what he expected to find in it, even if it disappointed him some. Nick always had stored the condoms and lube in his drawer on his side of the bed. They were in there but these looked newer and had been opened. He did remember Nick saying he had a few flings so he really should not be surprised but it hurt him in some way.

He closed the drawer and walked over to the dresser. That was when he saw it. He saw the picture of them together. It was a picture that had been taken only a couple months before the Fannysmackin' incident. They had taken a trip to California to visit his parents' gravesites. They had spent a few days there. They spent one day at the beach. They had a local take a picture of them standing on the beach together. They had their arms around each other and looked so in love.

He picked up the picture and brushed his fingers over it, reliving that memory and wishing it would never have been clouded over.

He placed it back down and decided to stop dwelling in the past. He went back into his room and took his few items out of his bag. He looked at his phone and saw the time. It was pretty late. He had not had any dinner yet. He didn't feel comfortable eating Nick's food yet.

He had brought his PB&J so he ended up making two sandwiches to satisfy his hunger.

He hung out downstairs for a while, turning on the TV to see what was on. He had not seen much TV at all in recent years, so he had no idea what the new shows were. He found a Friends marathon airing, so he watched that until he fell asleep on the couch.

He meant to call Nick and tell him he had decided to stay with him but he fell asleep before he could call him.

Hours later, Nick came home. He was tired and just wanted to take a shower and go to bed. He did not think Greg had taken him up on his offer, as he knew he was stubborn. As he entered, he noticed his alarm had not buzzed to be reset. He grabbed his gun and held it out. "Hello, anyone here?" he asked out loud. He heard some moaning and followed the sound to his living room. That is when he saw Greg spread out on his couch. He seemed to be having some kind of dream or nightmare as his head was moving back and forth and he could hear him mumbling.

Nick put his gun away and came up closer to Greg. He leaned in closer and could hear the mumblings more clearly now. "Please no. Just let me be. Just get away." He seemed to be getting more agitated, whining now. "No, please No!"

He suddenly sprung up and Nick backed away quickly. He noticed the wild look in his eyes as he looked back and forth, trying to take in his surroundings.

"Hey, it's okay. You're at my home," Nick reached out to him only for Greg to push his hand back.

"Don't touch me!" Greg yelled, his eyes still seemingly unfocused and alarmed.

Nick had never seen him like this, looking petrified and haunted. "Hey, it's Nick. You are in my home," he tried again. He noticed Greg still looking around but trying to focus on something. Finally his eyes landed on Nick and recognition finally clicking.

"Nick?" he said meekly.

"Yeah, it's me. You okay. You're safe here," Nick told him in a soothing voice.

Greg sat back and looked up, trying to catch his breath.

Nick noticed his hands shaking and how he kept clenching and unclenching them. "Are you going to be okay?" Nick asked out of concern.

Greg looked at him, still with a haunted look in his eyes. "The mind is an evil place at times," he said cryptically.

"You have nightmares a lot," Nick said as a matter of fact and not a question.

"Yeah, I do still." He rubbed his hands over his face and sat a moment before shaking his head. "I must have scared the shit out of you, I meant to call and I fell asleep before I could." He lifted his head and looked at Nick. The haunted look seemed to be gone, for now.

"Yeah, you did. I honestly didn't think you would take up my offer so soon. I will admit I had my gun out when I saw the alarm was not set."

"Shit! Sorry about that. It's not something I am used to doing anymore," he apologized.

Nick finally sat down on the chair next to the couch. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad I didn't shoot you," he tried joking but it came out more serious than he planned.

Greg looked at him with serious eyes. "Yeah, I am glad you didn't too."

"So you are staying then? I mean because if I know you are staying, I will be less likely to bring out my gun thinking someone broke into my house," he tried for a lighter tone now.

Greg took it. He smirked. "Yeah, I decided you and Tony were right. I need to stop punishing myself. I mean, at least in some way." He paused a moment and then pointed to his head. "The mind, well that is not as easy to fix."

"Look if you ever want to talk about them, I'm here for you," Nick offered. Greg waved him off though as he stood up.

"I got my shrink for that messed up stuff. No need to mess you up with it."

Nick wondered how messed up he really still was with that stuff.

"Look, I should probably actually try to make it to the bed now," Greg grinned, not wanting to talk anymore about this. "Oh by the way, great place you have here. The pool was a pleasant surprise."

"Thanks. I got a deal on it since it was a house in foreclosure. Plus my increase helped a lot."

"Yeah, speaking of that, I've never asked how work was for you now that you pretty much have a new team, it sounds like."

Nick gestured they head upstairs as he talked. "Well, when Catherine left, Russell made me the shift supervisor, so I got a nice increase. My team has good people on it, but it's not the family feel we had, you know," Nick told him as they got to the top of the stairs. He noticed Greg looking in at his office.

He glanced back and remembered he had been looking at the newspaper clippings recently. "Did you walk in there?" Nick gestured towards the room.

Greg shrugged sheepishly. "I guess old investigative habits die hard. I examined my motel bed the way I used to when on a case too." Greg decided to confront the demon in the room. He walked in and picked up the newspaper clipping on his suicide attempt. "I guess you are still worried I might try something like this?"

"No, I'm not. I was just sorting through articles and guess I stopped with that one." Nick shook his head, but he knew Greg could read though his lie.

"That's bullshit! You and I both know you are concerned. I would be too, if we were to trade spots. Hell, do you know how much I worried about that after you were buried alive? You went through such a deep depression during those few months that followed," Greg reminded him.

"Yes, I know. But this is different. You spent almost 7 years of your life in lock up. You were beaten over and over again. You were…" but Nick couldn't say it out loud, because it meant it really happened.

Greg took pity on him. He could say it. It hurt to say it but he could admit it. "Raped, is that what you want to say? It happened Nick, that's why I'm on the anti-depressants and seeing a shrink on a regular basis." He walked up to him and took his hands in his.

"But I'm not going to kill myself over it. It's not worth it anymore. I've come too far now to try that. Hell, I might have an actual real job, not some fucking shithole job."

Nick was not used to his cursing so much; he guessed prison life brought that on. You had to talk tough to be tough.

"But the nightmares…" Nick started. Greg looked down at their hands together. It felt good to hold his rough, but warm hands.

"They are never going away completely. I know that now. I think they have been happening more recently due to all the changes going on in my life right now. It's like some sickening reminder of what happened and they won't even let me forget but it doesn't mean I'm thinking of ending my life."

Nick lifted Greg's chin so he could look into his eyes for the next thing he had to ask. "Do you still think about it though?" He felt Greg shudder a bit as he took in a deep breath but kept eye contact.

"I would be lying to you if I said I didn't. I do, usually after one of those fucking dreams or something else triggers a memory. I'm going to warn you, my depression can come in waves sometimes. Sometimes I'm going to be a bitch to live with. I know I'll worry you, I won't mean to but I will. When that wave crashes in, it may seem hard to save me from drowning in it, but you will save me." He wanted to reach up and touch his face but he was not ready for too much of that kind of connection yet. Instead he dropped his hands and turned around to look at the calendar that Nick had marked his release date on.

"You saved me just by picking me up yesterday. I never in a million years expected to see you again, honestly. When I saw you in that car, I could not speak. I could not catch my breath. Seeing you brought back such a rush of memories…Good memories. Those are what kept me going, even though I never expected to see you again. Dr. Muller has me try to focus on my happiest of memories when that wave comes to get me. I had one earlier today. It almost pulled me down but I remembered the day I passed my CSI certification and you asked me to move in with you. That is one of those memories that pull me out."

He turned around and saw Nick staring at him, in awe almost. "Yesterday, you pulled me out again. You created a new memory for me to cherish. You being there, knowing you still cared when I thought I had lost you by my own stupidity of pushing you away. But here you have it even circled on your calendar and these clippings. You never gave up on me, even when I wanted you to. I realize now how much that means to me. I didn't want to think about it until you handed me the house key. I knew you were seriously not going to give up on me. I guess I couldn't let you down and give up on myself, not after I've come so far."

Nick just stood there, slowly shaking his head. "What? Too much all at once?" Greg asked him, suddenly feeling like he might have scared him off.

Nick shook his head more vehemently now. "No, you just amazed me suddenly. You say you're messed up, but I don't think you are as much as you might think. You really have come a long way since the last I saw you in prison."

Greg looked down at that comment. "Yeah, well I was pretty shitty to you that day. You were just trying to be nice. Hell, I didn't even know it was my birthday until you said something. Being in prison does that to you; you only count the days down until you are released."

It was things like that that made Nick feel so sad for Greg. He did not even remember when his birthday was. He guessed he was going to have to make up for many missed birthday celebrations.

"It's okay. I know it was awkward of me to just show up and even try to fool you like that. I was just desperate to see you again."

Greg nodded. "I get it."

Nick yawned. It was a long shift and he really was tired now. "I think we've talked enough for a while. How about we get some sleep now? Did you see your room? Is it okay?"

Greg looked up. "Yeah, it's great. I mean, hell it's like a fucking palace compared to my recent accommodations."

"Glad to hear it. Look, I have to get up earlier tomorrow for a trial. I'll try not to wake you up if you are still sleeping. Since you are waiting to hear back from Freedom Labs, do you plan on just hanging around here until you hear back from them?"

"Yeah I guess. I mean I have no money to do anything else," he shrugged.

"I'll leave my password for my computer for you if you want to do anything on there tomorrow when I am gone. And feel free to use the pool. God knows I hardly get to use it much."

"Really? That's a damn shame. I might have to change that," he said with a wily smirk.

"I think I would enjoy that change," he chuckled. "Good night Greg. I hope you can sleep without nightmares for a change."

"Thanks, I hope so too."


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Sorry, been busy and sick but I've gotten some writing done. So here is a new chapter.

* * *

Nick woke up and had to peek in on Greg. He saw that Greg had left the door partially open and had a light on. He thought he was awake but when he peeked in he saw that he was sound asleep. He thought he would have to ask him about the light. He then remembered how confused Greg seemed when he woke up on the couch downstairs. Perhaps he kept the light on so when he woke up from a nightmare, he could better focus on where he was reminding himself he was not back in prison.

He looked at him, seemingly so at peace. He really hoped he could get some sleep without suffering from a nightmare. He really was in awe of him. He had gone through so much to have such an amazing attitude overall.

He thought about what he said with his depression waves. He did worry about them the way he talked about them. He was going to have to steel himself for it when he first experienced a real one.

He was just happy he gave in to living with him and taking the help when offered to him. Even if they never became intimate again, he just wanted him happy.

He backed away from the door and decided to get ready for his trial testimony.

Greg slowly opened his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the brightness in the room. He knew by the brightness that he was not in a cell anymore. It was very bright in those things. He was slightly confused for a moment though as to where he was. He remembered moving to Nick's house yesterday. That was a smart move he decided as he cuddled into his bed more. The thought of actually getting out of bed did not even appeal to him. Nick was going to be gone for most of the day. He would not know if he did not get out. He probably would not even care if he did. He had not slept that good in years.

Since it was daytime outside, he decided to at least turn off the light he had left on. He checked his cell phone to see if he missed any messages from Freedom Laboratories. He did begin to wonder if he should keep job searching. What if that job did not come through? What if the HR people decided they did not want someone who was in prison working in their labs? His damn insecurities were getting to him again. He realized he was overdue for his medication. It figures why he was in that mood. He had to get out of bed anyway.

He walked downstairs with just his PJ bottoms on that Nick had supplied him. He walked up to the kitchen sink and grabbed his pill bottles he had placed there the night before. He checked the cabinets until he found a glass. Nick had a filter on the tap, so he got some water from it. He took his pills and finished off the water.

He realized he was hungry now too. He never did talk to Nick about the food situation. He did not know if Nick had stocked up on food, preparing for him to stay there or not. He decided to look in the refrigerator and freezer and see how well stocked they were.

He saw some soda, beer, and milk as drinks. He was going to steer clear of any alcohol as part of his probation. He saw stuff for salad and other fresh fruits and vegetables, nothing that really tickled his fancy though. He opened the freezer and saw it stocked with some microwave meals, frozen chicken breasts, and various other little items.

His plans to sleep some more left once he decided his hunger was taking precedence. Before making his final decision he decided to see how well stocked his pantry was with cooking accessories. He needed to get the layout of the kitchen if he really wanted to make himself a decent meal.

After scrounging around, he had all the items on the counter he would need to make chicken parmesan. It had been so long since he made it but it was the one thing he made really well.

He realized he could not stand the silence anymore though in the house. He went into the living room and found the stereo. He went through Nick's CD collection and forgot how their tastes in music were the one thing that clashed a bit. He decided to go with the local rock station instead.

Now that he had some tunes playing, he could start preparing his meal. Fourty-five minutes later he was sitting at the table enjoying his first bite of real homemade food in years. His mouth watered for it. He savored every bite.

He did not hear the door open, since he had the music cranking pretty loud. Nick stepped in and could smell the aroma of the chicken parmesan. He walked into the dining room. "I hope you made plenty for two," he asked over the music. He saw Greg jumped out of his seat practically. He looked scared for a few seconds before he relaxed some.

"Shit Nick! Don't do that to me. I still spook a bit easily," Greg scolded him as he held his hand to his chest.

"Sorry Greg. I don't think about that kind of stuff. I was just happy to see that you were blasting your music again and cooking for yourself," Nick apologized as he sat down next to him at the table.

"Yeah about the cooking, I hope you do not mind me using your food. I mean I forgot to ask if I could eat your food."

Nick looked at him incredulously. "Greg, I invited you to live with me, that means what is here is yours too."

Greg smiled at him sheepishly. "Thanks, I just felt a little guilty about not making sure first. Oh and yes, there is some leftover up on the stove. Help yourself."

Nick took it and sat back down at the table with Greg. He let the music stay on, even though in the past he would have changed it over to something more neutral like jazz.

He noticed Greg had pretty much polished his plate completely clean. He took a bite and moaned a little. "Oh, I forgot how wonderful your chicken parmesan was. Mine never turns out as good."

"You should try the prison version. It's cardboard with tomato sauce and fake cheese on it. Another thing that's horrible in prison," he said as he played with the last bite on his plate. "But after a while, you are just so hungry you eat anything they give you, especially if you want to keep your strength up."

"Then I guess you ate well there in the last year or so by the looks of it," Nick gestured to his bare chest.

Greg looked down and forgot he had no shirt on again. It was just so nice to feel comfortable in your surroundings for a change, he thought to himself.

"Yeah sorry about that, I kind of like the freedom I have these days. I'm not worried about leering eyes or guys wishing they could still beat the shit out of me. Plus I am kind of digging my new physique as it seems you are too," he added with a smirk.

"Wouldn't I be considered leering eyes?" Nick questioned with some humor in his voice.

"Your eyes are the only ones I do not mind leering. I mean I guess it helps you look past the scars at least," he suggested.

"They aren't that bad. You were lucky the guards came as quick as they did that time the guy had the shank. The scars could be worse or more so you could have died," Nick reminded him.

That was a moment from the early prison days or the before suicide attempt days. "Yeah, I know. I got lucky a few times, so in some ways I guess I had some guardian angel looking over me in there. I know I probably should be dead," Greg said a bit more somberly.

Nick did not want him feeling down. "But look, you are here in one piece and you just made your amazing Chicken Parm."

Greg gave him a small smile. "I appreciate you trying to keep the mood lighter. I only took my pills an hour or so ago, so they are not fully working in the system yet. I was a little late with my sleeping longer than expected."

"Did you wake from a nightmare?" Nick asked him.

Greg smiled at him. "No, no nightmares just a solid ten hours of sleep. I almost was going to stay in bed all day but then my hunger got the better of me. I have not really eaten much but PB&J sandwiches since I got out."

Nick chuckled, "Seriously?"

"Seriously! I hardly had any money to buy much food. So I bought the very basics, PB&J, cereal, milk and well that was about it."

"Jesus, how did you expect to survive a week on your own or possibly even longer if you don't get that job?" Nick could not believe him and his obvious miscalculations on living expenses these days.

Greg frowned. "I guess I forgot how expensive things were these days. Speaking of, do you think it's stupid of me to not still go job hunting? I mean it seemed like this job was a sure thing but I have not heard back yet. What if the HR people say they don't want me on their staff? I mean they might think I am a PR risk or something with my history!"

Nick could see that depression wave slowing coming in. "Greg, they said it could take a couple of days. This guy seemed to really like you by what you said. He knew Grissom. If Grissom talked highly of you, it would be their loss not to hire you!" Nick noticed Greg's fork rattling against the plate. His hands were shaking again.

Greg noticed it too and quickly put the fork down and tucked his hands under the table.

Nick was not going to let it go unnoticed. "What's with your hands shaking all the time?"

Greg closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. "Greg!" He heard Nick's tone and knew he was not going to let it go.

"It's caused by stress for the most part. It's not the first time this has happened to me, I mean in the past it has. The only person who busted me on it was Grissom." He could see the look from Nick telling him to explain more.

"Remember the lab explosion? After that my hands would shake from nerves, stress, whatever you want to call it. Grissom busted me one day on it. I tried to deny it was happening but he knew better. I eventually got over it then. I am hoping it leaves sometime again."

"Since when has this been going on now?" Nick asked him, more curious than ever.

He could see this was hard for Greg to talk about. "It's been several years."

"Since entering prison or after the attempt?" Greg noticed Nick had trouble saying suicide.

"It started shortly after the third attack in prison. I was always on edge, I would shake. It progressively got worse. Only in the last year have I been able to calm the jitters more. Dr. Muller has helped a lot with teaching me ways to calm my nerves."

"Does your possibly new employer know about these jitters?" Nick had to ask because he knew that if he was dealing with chemicals it could be a risk.

"Yes, unfortunately they appeared during our interview. He questioned me about it, I told him the truth."

"And the truth is?" Nick pushed a little more.

Greg sighed, feeling frustrated now with Nick. "The truth is I am trying to control them and praying it goes away again for good. But you know this line of questioning is not helping any." Annoyed, he pushed himself up from the table and took his dishes to the sink.

He ran the water while he tried to calm his nerves.

He had not notice Nick get up, but he did notice when the music went off. He saw Nick coming into the kitchen with his plate. He looked at him out of the side of his eye, wondering what he was going to do.

Nick placed his plate on the counter by the sink. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable Greg and if I did that with the questioning, I am sorry."

Greg shook his head. "I'm the one that's sorry. I didn't mean to jump down your throat. You were just concerned for me. I warned you I could be bitchy at times. I guess this is one of them."

Trying to lighten the mood, "Well I don't mind you being bitchy when you cook shirtless." He made Greg smile and he knew he had succeeded.

"I guess this means I will have to try to stay in this kind of shape then. I might just have to put that pool to use when it is warm enough out. Luckily summer is just around the corner," the younger man smirked.

Nick looked at his watch. "Crap, I wish I could stay home with you but I got to work. I hate days of trials and then working."

"Don't I know it," Greg said quietly. Nick did not understand at first but then it dawned on him. He wanted to kick himself. Greg had his first and last jury trial as a CSI providing evidence the same day as he later hit Demetrius James on shift.

"I'm sorry Greg, I wasn't thinking." Greg waved off the comment though and pointed to himself. "Again, bitchy."

It made Nick feel better knowing he could poke some fun at himself. "Got it!" He chuckled.

"I'm going to run upstairs and change out of this shirt and tie and into something more comfy for work."

Greg finished cleaning up the dishes by the time Nick came back down.

"Feel free to go back to bed after I leave. Or dance naked to your music…no wait only do that when I am home," Nick grinned. He wanted to try to leave on a happier note.

Greg laughed. "I don't know that I will be dancing naked around your living room anytime soon. I'm not that comfortable yet. But who knows, one day I might surprise you."

The twinkle in his eyes made Nick feel good. He only hoped Greg felt as good as he did. "I'll see you in the morning. Bye!"

"Bye," Greg waved and then set the alarm after Nick was gone.

He sat down on the couch and smiled to himself. He was glad more than ever that Nick had not given up on him. His first few days out of prison were going far better than he ever thought. He never expected to have moments of being able to smile and laugh after leaving those prison gates. He honestly did not know what he expected when he left prison. It had scared the hell out of him, being put back into the real world again after being held from it for so long. He was pretty sure he would have been in a deep wave of depression by now. Getting in that car with Nick was not the mistake he thought it would be.

Now he just hoped he would get this job, otherwise the wave might return.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N- Yes, it's been awhile but I do have another chapter. Maybe even two tonight...we'll see. Enjoy and thanks for the reviews._

* * *

Greg had decided to go back to sleep upstairs but only slept about an hour before a nightmare work him up again. He ended up taking a nice long shower before heading downstairs again.

He rummaged through Nick's DVD collection. He realized there were so many movies he wanted to see. The only time he saw TV was when he was in the community room, which typically he spent waiting for a chance to get on one of the few computers that had internet access. They only got 30 minutes at a time on it. He usually spent the time printing up new journal reviews to bring back to his cell to read. Of course, everything they printed was looked over by a prison official for approval. After a while, they barely checked what Greg printed since it was always from the same sources.

He had to admit his later years in prison were easier once he was moved and the guards on this side liked him. They looked out for him but he had grown on his own and was not taking shit from other prisoners.

He pulled out a few of the Marvel movies and decided to start watching them, seeing as they had come out just after he was put in prison.

He was just starting another movie when he heard a phone ringing and realized it was his cell phone. He grabbed it from the coffee table in front of him and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hello! Is this Greg Sanders? This is Thomas Gaylor calling." Greg just realized this was it. He was about to find out if he had a job or had to keep looking for one.

"Yes, this is Greg Sanders. How are you Mr. Gaylor?" He had to be proper and make small talk, but all he really wanted to know what if he got the job or not.

"I am very good, Greg. So I am calling to let you know that we are prepared to offer you a job." Greg felt his heart leap in joy at the news.

"Wow, thank you," he said quickly.

"Well, you might want to wait until you hear the offer before thanking me. We would want you to start next week. We do two days of orientation and then the rest of the week you will be shadowing one of our senior chemists. After the first week, you will be working in the DNA lab. We will see how your progress is and if all goes well, we might move you into our newer subsidiary company, FreChem. The office is still here in town, just not in our main building. We will start you at $25.00 an hour and if you end up being moved to FreChem, your wage might go up."

Greg's mouth hung open hearing what the starting rate was. That was at least $8.00 more an hour than he made when he was a lab tech, which paid more than a CSI did. "$25.00 dollars an hour, really?!"

"Well, you will probably be able to get some overtime too, so that can help supplement. You would be under our Medical and Dental insurances after 90 days. So what do you think?"

Greg could barely respond. It was a far better offer than he ever imagined how could be say no?

"I'll admit I'm a bit in shock. I never expected any of this so quickly after… Well I mean yes, I accept the offer," he said quickly, not wanting make him wait for an answer.

"Great! We can't wait to have you working for us. Would you be able to come by tomorrow just to fill out some paperwork? I do have to let you know you will have to sign a confidentiality contract. Any new drugs we come up with have to be considered confidential until thoroughly tested and ready for FDA testing," Mr. Gaylor told him.

"Yes, I understand. We had similar type rules in the Crime Lab."

"I would think so," Mr. Gaylor laughed a little. "So just stop in tomorrow between 9am and 3pm and ask to see Jill. She will have the documents for you to sign and walk you through them. She will then instruct you on the orientation that you will start next week."

"Yes, I can be there during the day. Thank you again Mr. Gaylor."

"Greg, please call me Tom. No need for formalities. We are glad you are joining us. I'll probably see you on Monday for orientation. Good Luck and enjoy the rest of your day!"

"You too, Tom. Thank you again. Goodbye!"

Greg disconnected the call and jumped up, punching the air with his fists. "Fuck yeah!" he exclaimed.

He sat back down and cupped his hands over his mouth, still in disbelief. He was not sure how much Nick made these days but it was quite possible he might end up making more than him.

He wanted to call Nick and tell him the news, but then he figured he probably would be home soon anyway. He would just have to contain his excitement until he got home.

In the meantime, he decided to look up this subsidiary company Tom Gaylor told him about. He used Google on his cell phone and typed in FreChem. He found their website. He did not see anything obviously saying it was subsidiary of Freedom Laboratories but that did not matter as much. It said they specialized in creating new, affordable drugs for those who did not have insurance. It seemed that they ran a lot of clinical test studies, asking for people who wanted to come in and get paid a minor fee to try their medications. He knew this was a common practice for a lot of drug companies and labs.

He now saw where it was located also. It was in an older, poorer part of the city. He guessed it made sense seeing as they were aiming for people who could not afford nor had insurance through their work.

He just hoped he was strictly going to be in the lab area and not having to work with the locals that came in. He knew a lot of those people might know who he is and what he did. Of course, he knew that was bound to happen if he started going out more anyway. One of the reasons he had not left the motel or Nick's house much since he was free.

He heard the door open and the alarm buzz. He knew Nick was home when the alarm code was punched in.

"Greg, you up?" He asked this time as he entered the house. Greg leaned out over the coffee table a little so Nick could see him in the living room.

"Hey, I thought you might be sleeping," Nick said as he came in and threw his keys on the kitchen counter.

"I took a small nap and have been watching movies since, basically," Greg said a little too quickly. He was trying to contain his excitement. He wanted to seem calmer when he told him the news.

Nick looked at the coffee table and saw a few of his Marvel DVD's out on it. "Ah, good action films to kill the time. You'll love them."

"Yeah, I've already got one and a half in."

Nick smiled and sat down. He noticed Greg seemed a little hyper. "You got something to tell me? You seem eager about something."

"Damn and here I am thinking I'm acting all cool. Yes, I do have something to tell you. I got the job!"

Nick eyes opened wide. "You got the job? Really?! Well that's fantastic Greg!" He wanted to go over and hug him but he refrained.

"Yes, he just called me a little while ago and told me the news," Greg told him excitedly.

"Wow, well tell me all about it!" the Texan was eager to hear about the call. Greg filled him in on all of the details. Nick had a huge smile on his face as did Greg when he talked about the call.

"I'm so happy for you Greg, I really am. That pay is amazing. You might end up making more than me. I think we need to celebrate," Nick told him.

"Yeah sure. What are you thinking?" Nick looked at the time and thought a moment. "Well, maybe not right now but after I get some sleep I can take you out to dinner."

"Well, you know I think I rather celebrate here. I mean we can get delivery and I can continue to enjoy the movies as we eat," Greg said nervously.

Nick narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Why don't you want to go out to dinner, Greg?"

Greg ran his hand over his short hair, quickly trying to come up with a valid sounding reason and not the real reason. "I mean, I don't even have anything decent to wear. I put my nice pants and shirt in the wash since I will need it for tomorrow."

"We don't need to go anyplace fancy. You can wear something I brought you from storage," Nick told him.

"Yeah, but some of that stuff is tight now," he was pulling at straws now and he knew Nick was not buying it anymore.

"I know what's going on. You can't stay out of public places forever. You're going to have to be working and until you can get a car, you might have to take public transportation if I can't take you into work. I mean didn't you already take the bus a few times? That was public."

Greg moaned. "Yeah, but that was different. I mean no one pays attention to who gets on and off the bus. You're talking about a restaurant. It's just…I can't yet. I'm sorry." His happy mood was starting to turn sour with this conversation.

Nick was about to argue with him but decided against it. It was not worth it right now. He could tell that his excitement about the job offer had dampened a lot. "Okay, fine. We'll order in." Nick stood up. "Look, I really am thrilled for you. I knew you would not be jobless long unless people are just that dumb. That all being said I am really tired. Do you mind if I cut out and get some sleep? We can talk later."

Greg nodded. "Yeah sure. I'm probably going to finish this movie and then maybe try a nap again. I am probably going to have to get back to trying to sleep when you are at work since it sounds like I will be working days."

"Yeah sounds like it. See you later." Nick smiled at him again before heading up to his bedroom.

Greg exhaled and sat back. He was glad Nick dropped the subject of going out to eat. He needed a little more time to adjust to being free and the public possibly now recognizing his face when he went out. He was not sure how people might react to seeing him free. Nick had told him his release was not as big of news. He was glad for that. He hoped most had forgotten about him or seeing as he had served time, let him be.

For now, he decided it was time to finish his movie and then try to get some sleep again.

 _He was standing in a lab that was all white and clean. The tables and machines were all white. He had just put a DNA sample into the DNA sequencer machine and was waiting for its results. An eerie music played through the lab. He thought he heard someone behind him but when he turned around he did not see anyone. He turned back to his work on the table in front of him._

 _Suddenly he was pushed down, his head slamming against the table, Items bouncing from their spot on the table from the force. An unknown face bent down next to his, as he felt his body being pressed against the table by this man's. "You just think you're free, but you're never going to be free of us," he man's warm breath against his ear._

 _He felt paralyzed as his pants and underwear were being pulled down._

 _"No! No, don't do this!" He tried screaming, even though his face was smashed against the cold metal table. But instead he heard the man unzipping his pants. "Nooooo!" He screamed out._

 _He felt his body being shaken. "Greg!" he heard a voice scream._

He suddenly shot up in bed and saw the concerned eyes of Nick Stokes staring at him. "Greg, it's okay. You're okay. You're here at the house."

Nick had been woken up by the screams coming from the bedroom down the hall. He ran in to see Greg writhing about in his bed and screaming. He tried yelling his name several times but to no response. Finally he started shaking him as he called his name out and that was when he snapped out of it.

Nick could see that this nightmare really shook Greg. His hands were trembling and his eyes showed his fear. "Greg, are you with me?" He asked him, seeing as he had not said anything.

Greg looked around the room and realized he was in the bedroom in Nick's house. He briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Shit! I'm sorry to wake you up again, Nick."

Nick grabbed his chin. "Hey, look at me. Don't apologize about it. Do you want to talk about it?" He saw his eyes immediately look down.

"Not really." Nick exhaled slowly. "Do you think you will ever be able to talk to me about this stuff that happened to you?"

The younger man lifted his head and shrugged a little. "I don't know." He watched as Nick sucked in his lower lip in thought.

"Do you at least talk to Dr. Muller about these things?"

Greg nodded some. "Yes, I do. He's been the only one so far that I do. It's not easy to talk about but I've become mostly comfortable talking to him about what happened and the nightmares." He looked down at his still slightly trembling hands. He held them up for Nick to see. "This and the nightmares are basically some form of PTSD I suffer from, hence why I am on the anti-depressants and anxiety meds."

"Are you going to be okay for now?" Nick asked him cautiously. The former CSI put his hands back down on his bed and nodded. "Yeah, just give me a couple minutes to calm down."

"This one seemed to shake you more than others," Nick commented.

"Yeah, I guess because it was different than the more memory based ones. It was new surroundings and unknown face. It almost felt foreboding," he told him with a haunting in his eyes.

Nick put his hand on his knee and he did not flinch away from it. "Your mind is just playing tricks on you. Like you said, the mind can be an evil place."

"Yes, it sure can," he frowned. He looked down at Nick's hand on his knee and placed his own hand on top of his. He looked back into his former lover's eyes. "Thank you for being here for me. I don't know what I did to deserve you to be by my side like this after so long, but I am very grateful."

Nick gave him a small smile. "You've been through hell you never deserved. Like I told you, I just want you to have a brighter future. Now just think, you're probably going to be raking in more dough than me in your new job. I think that is pretty bright for a future."

Greg thought of the location it the nightmare and suddenly pulled his hand back from Nick. "Yeah…hopefully."

Nick took notice and started to think that this nightmare perhaps had something to do with this new job. "You said this dream was almost foreboding. Did it have something to do with these labs?" When he saw Greg shudder, he knew it did.

Greg abruptly swung his legs out of the bed and stood up. He looked over sadly at Nick. "Yeah it did and that's all the more I'm saying about it."

Nick got the message, he wanted this to be dropped. "Fine. Are you hungry? Do you want to order out now? I've slept enough."

Greg was thankful Nick was not going to push him anymore. "Sure. I do have a request for food, if it's okay with you?"

Nick smiled. "Of course, this is your celebration meal. What do you want?"

Greg smirked a bit. "Chinese." Nick nodded with a big grin on his face. "Of course, I should have known better. You probably have not had it in ages I bet either."

Greg nodded. "Correct."

"Let's go downstairs and I will pull out the menu from Mr. Woo's and you can get whatever you want." He saw Greg smile and he knew he had survived a bit of a wave.


	8. Chapter 8

Greg was going through Nick's closet looking for a shirt to wear. After their meal the night before, Nick had told Greg there had to be some shirts in his closet that might fit him that he could wear when he went to fill out his new job paperwork. He still wanted to look professional and make a good impression, even though he had the job basically.

Nick had agreed that once he got home from shift he would take Greg to Freedom right away so he could fill out his paperwork. Then they would head back home and he could get some sleep. Nick was off that night anyway, so he was not worrying about not getting home to sleep right away.

Greg had tried on a couple shirts but was not thrilled with them. Basically they were very similar in size but overall had different builds. Nick had a wider neck and more chiseled chest, while Greg had broader shoulders and a little bit longer torso.

He finally tried on a burgundy button down that fit perfectly on him. He looked at himself in the mirror and thought he looked pretty decent. He grabbed a tie of Nick's also. It was a plain black one to go with his black slacks. He tried straightening out the tie around his neck and felt uncomfortable doing it. He always hated ties and now when he wore one around his neck he thought of his attempt at hanging himself. He could not help but think of that. He just loosened it for now and figured he would tighten it once he was in the car on the way to Freedom Laboratories.

He went back downstairs and stepped into the kitchen to get his pills. He had slept a little later today and woke up closer to the time it was for Nick to get home.

He heard the front door open and the new familiar sound of the alarm buzz before Nick turned it off. "Nick, I'm in the kitchen," he yelled out, so he would not have to wonder.

He was taking a swig of water when Nick came in. He finished off the bottle of water before turning around to see the Texan looking at him. A low whistle was followed by an admiring grin on Nick face. "Damn, you clean up well Mr. Sanders."

Greg rolled his eyes. "Please, stop," he chuckled a little. Nick came up to him and made to reach for his tie to straighten it out. Greg's hands quickly came up and stopped him. He shook his head. "I'll fix it myself later."

Nick stepped back and suddenly understood his reaction. "I'm sorry."

Greg raised his right hand up. "No, don't be sorry. It's nothing for you to be sorry about. I'm the one that's sorry and just leave it at that, okay?"

Nick nodded. "Sure, I can do that." Nick looked around, as if trying to find something. "So, uh, I'm going to take a really quick shower and then we can go. Sound good?"

Greg saw his former lover looking a bit regretful for his earlier move. He decided it would probably just be best to move on. "Yeah, sure go ahead. I'll be waiting down here for you."

Nick gave him thumbs up and proceeded to run upstairs. Greg hated when he caused some tension between them. He knew Nick was doing his best to give him space. Greg had to remind himself he would have been much worse off right now if Nick had never showed up to pick him up from prison. He had to keep that thought in his head when he started feeling a little pissed off at him.

He decided that while Nick showered, he needed to meditate a little to calm the anxiety he felt building up. He went over to the couch and sat down. He closed his eyes and started the mantra in his head along with his breathing skills.

He was so focused that he did not even hear when Nick came back downstairs. Nick watched him for a moment from the foot of the stairs, as Greg breathed in and out in a slow manner. He was not sure what was making him having to do this, the tie incident or just having to go fill out his paperwork. He hoped it was the later.

Nick cleared his throat as he stepped down from the last stair, hoping to alert Greg he was there. It worked. He saw Greg open his eyes and turn around to look at him. "That was quick."

Nick came around the front of the couch. "I said it would be a quick one. You know how I can't stand that feel on my skin after being at a messy crime scene."

Greg slowly nodded. "Yes, I do remember. I was basically the same way."

"Remember how we used to fight on the way home, which got to shower first," Nick thought back fondly.

Greg smirked. "Yeah, and it was silly since we had two showers. Typically we ended up sharing a shower though, if I remember correctly."

Nick raised his eyebrows, a little surprised Greg would bring that up. "Yeah, I definitely remember those days. They were really good."

Greg looked at him thoughtfully. "One day…one day I think we will have good times like that again."

Nick's eyes lit up. Did Greg actually just kind of tell him that he thinks they will be a real couple again? He was pretty sure that was what he meant. "I sure hope so."

Greg continued gazing at him. "Yes, I am pretty sure one day I'll be ready again. I know that's what you want to hear."

Nick felt some kind of relief wash over him and felt more relaxed than he had since Greg came into his life again. "Yes, but don't feel pressured. Just tell me if I'm pressuring you."

"You're not, trust me." He smiled warmly at him. The meditation did wonders for him and his mind set. "So are you ready to go now, because I know I am."

Nick was ready. They got in his SUV and headed over to Greg's new work place.

As they neared the location, Nick caught Greg out of the side of his eye, pulling down the sun visor to see himself in the mirror. He started tightening and straightening out the tie around his neck. He really hoped one day Greg felt comfortable enough to talk about his suicide attempt. He knew very little details. All he knew was he had somehow managed to tear up his bedsheets without anyone hearing or noticing (or caring he thought) and make a type of rope out of them. He had somehow managed to tie part to the top of the horizontal steel plumbing pipe that ran across the top of their cells. He had made the rope short enough for him to stand on the edge of the toilet and once he had a noose around his neck, stepped off and his feet did not touch the ground. It was not an immediate strangulation. He hung a few minutes, nearing completely loss of oxygen when a guard walking by just happened to shine his light in and saw him hanging. He cut him down in enough time. He had only just lost consciousness. That was the most Nick was ever told. He never got to talk to Greg after that. Greg had not talked to anyone for some time after that apparently, until Dr. Muller finally broke through to him. Then he heard Greg wanted no visitors at all, expect his court ordered ones. Nick was not under that policy. All he knew was that Greg was alive and had not ended up in the infirmary anymore. Whether that was completely true, only Greg could tell him now.

Greg interrupted his thoughts by telling him the building was up ahead. Nick pulled up and parked. "Do you know how long it will be?"  
"I have no idea. They do have a little waiting area right inside. You can probably wait for me there," Greg suggested.

Nick agreed to do that. He walked inside with Greg and admired the architecture of the building. Greg went up and asked to see Jill.

A tall blonde woman came out a minute later and asked Greg to follow her. Greg turned back to see Nick taking a seat on a sofa they had in the lobby area.

Jill introduced herself and took Greg to the elevators, where they proceeded to go to the 5th floor. This floor looked different than the lobby. It looked cozy. Apparently all the offices of the executives and such were on this floor.

She led him into an office door marked HR and told him to take a seat at the table. She left and came back a few minutes later with his paperwork. He spent about 15 minutes filling out various forms for insurance, liability and the confidentiality agreement. She also took his photo so they could have his ID card ready for him on Monday. She told him he should still be dressed up since orientation meant he would be meeting some of the executives and others. She told him one other person would be joining him for orientation.

She led him back to the elevators and let him go the rest of the way. Back down in the lobby he met up with Nick.

"Hey G, how did everything go?" Greg smiled at Nick using one of the many nicknames he had for him. "I'm pretty much official I guess now. She even took my photo for my ID card I will get on Monday during orientation. I might need to get another pair of pants or some other clothes soon, since I can't wear yours forever."

"Well, if you are up to it, we could do it now, since we are out," Nick suggested.

Greg pursed his lips. "I guess I can't stay out forever, especially since I will be working now. Oh that reminds me, I need to call Tony Hughes to let him know my job information."

"You have got a cell phone for that type of stuff now, remember?" Nick smirked.

"Ha, ha. Yes, I know. I was just saying. Anyway, I'm kind of hungry. I didn't really eat anything yet. I guess I was a bit nervous."

"I saw you meditating when I came down after my shower this morning. Was that to help your nerves?" Nick figured he would mention it now.

"Yes, one of the many techniques I use. I used to think that stuff was silly until I had a real reason to do it and see that it really does work," Greg acknowledged.

"So, how about we had toward the mall? We can eat and get your some new clothes. Do you think you can handle it?" Nick asked.

Greg shrugged. "I have to one day, why not now when I'm at least in a decent mood."

Nick chuckled. "Not the most confident answer but I'll take it. Let's go."

As Nick was driving to the mall, he thought of something else to ask Greg. "Is your drivers' license still good or do you need to renew it?"

"Thank goodness it is still good. I only got it renewed a year before my sentence and since it's not been ten years, I'm good. I'm just glad they didn't revoke my driving privileges for that case."

"Yes, that was good. I had worried about that too," Nick confessed. "So maybe after you get a few paychecks, we can look into getting you a cheap car for cash. I know your credit is probably horrible right now, so you won't be able to get a car loan."

Greg groaned some. "Yeah, I have not even thought of that but you are probably right. Fuck! It really is like starting over."

Nick felt bad, reminding him of the restrictions he still faced. "I know it sucks, but I'm here to help you. You have to admit, it has to be going better than you thought it would."

Greg smiled and then looked at Nick. "Yes, thanks to you. I don't even know what I was thinking I could do everything on my own when I got out. I was fooling myself. Doc Muller warned me but I told him I was better now and I could do it. Ha, fool I was."

"Well, don't worry about that now. You've got a new job starting Monday and soon some new clothes," Nick laughed.

"Yay for clothes," Greg chuckled along with him.

Two hours later they were home. "I would say your first real foray out in public was pretty tame, wouldn't you say so?" Nick asked him.

"Agreed. I think I caught one guy glare at me but that was about it. I guess time does make people forget," Greg surmised.

"And as I said, your name has been out of the public pretty much lately, too many other crazy things going on for the news to talk about. Especially with this new drug epidemic hitting the streets lately," Nick mentioned.

"I saw something about that on the news the other day, what's that all about?" Greg asked, wanting to try to get back into the swing of being in the real world and its events.

"It's these new designer drugs, as they call them, tons of people getting them and ODing on them. They are trying to figure the main source, since this one particular type seems to only be here in Nevada, primarily Vegas."

"What does it do to people?" Greg asked.

"Well, first it supposedly is a pain killer. They can barely function well on it but I guess people like being oblivious to life these days. As it wears off, they become agitated and are often aggressive. The overall cycle seems to last 5-6 hours. But people are taking more of this 'C-pac' as they call it, than they should and ODing. It's been found in the system of a lot of homeless people around the streets here. None will give up where they are getting it from though. It's not being sold anywhere and it again is fairly new to the streets."

"So when you say aggressive, what exactly is happening? You seem to know a lot, so I assume you've had some dealings with it," Greg surmised.

"Yes, we've had a homeless guy go bonkers on it and kill some poor woman who was trying to help him actually. She was apparently trying to buy him a meal but he just wanted the money from her. When she refused he went into this rage," Nick told him as they walked upstairs.

"Yeah, drugs make people do some crazy stuff. There was this guy, Ben, I kind of was friendly with in prison. He was serving time for dealing drugs. He was also a former user. The main reason he was busted was that he used his own product he was selling, Meth, and went on this crazy crime spree. He broke into several stores in this strip mall and ended up being caught since he was busted on camera. Now he's serving 15 years. And get this, the main reason he started drug dealing was because he had no real education and was tired of working two to three jobs just to make ends meat. He was taking home $3000 a week from his drug sales. It really makes you think how messed up jobs are these days, where you make that much from doing illegal shit and not even making that much from three jobs, like he was," Greg shrugged.

"Well that's why you try to get an education so you can make the big bucks like you will be getting and not have to do illegal things for that kind of money," Nick pointed out.

"I guess being considered a science nerd in school did pay off for me," Greg grinned as he stopped in front of his bedroom door.

"I'll take a science nerd like you any day," Nick flirted. It was good that he could feel comfortable doing that now with Greg, knowing they had a chance again.

Greg smiled at him. "Thanks for today. It was kind of nice to just walk around the mall again. Oh and for the new shirts and pants. I'll be glad when I can pay you back for everything."

Nick waved him off. "No, you don't have to worry about it. Consider this making up for all the gifts I couldn't get you in the past years." He noticed that Greg's expression fall suddenly.

"Hmm, yeah okay." He paused a moment. He did not even know how to express his feelings about this gesture. "I'm going to put this stuff away now and then take a shower. I assume you will be heading to bed."

Nick was trying to get a read on him, but he had his eyes lowered. "You have nothing to feel guilty about, if that is how you are feeling about my offer. You should know by now, just on the numerous amount of times I have told you, you should have never had to be in prison in the first place. I just want to make you feel better and not bring you down. I don't care that you locked me out of your life the last few years. I know you had your reasons. I'm just happy you are here with me now. That's all I want, you to be happy. Remember that."

Greg finally turned his eyes to him and nodded. "Okay. I'm trying to be happy again. For the most part, I think its working. There are just going to be moments. I already warned you of that. You just need to respect those moments and we'll be okay."

"I got it. I will try to do that. And with that being said, you do what you need to do now and I'm heading to bed. Goodnight Greg."

He smiled at Nick, knowing he was doing what he asked. "Goodnight Nick."


	9. Chapter 9

_AN- Sorry it has been a while. I've had a lot written but just not a chance to edit and upload. Finally I have a little time, so I got a few chapters to post today._

Greg woke up before Nick. His sleep schedule was all thrown off. He knew he was going to need to get back on a regular schedule and soon with work starting in a couple days.

He walked out of his room still in his PJ bottoms and a t-shirt. He noticed the door to Nick's room was cracked open. He decided to look in on him. He peeked through the opening and saw him lying on his back. The sheets were pulled halfway up his stomach, exposing his upper body. Nick always slept without a shirt unless it was cold outside. He admired his still well-kept physic. He was amazed that this wonderful man stayed single still after all those years. He guessed he really did love him. It warmed his heart knowing that. It was making each day get easier and easier knowing this man was behind him 100%. He would make it up to him soon. He knew as each day went, spending time with him was getting easier.

They were getting to know each other again. Greg wanted to make sure they were both ready to re-start their relationship and not just jump in. In any case, Greg's memories still haunted him some and he wanted them to retreat a little more before making any move to get closer to Nick.

He headed downstairs and looked outside. It was getting dark out. Nick typically went into work around 10pm at night. He remembered working those hours. It was never that hard for him to get used to. What was hard and he never quite grasped was sleeping at times of normal people. Even in prison, he was expected to sleep at night. He never slept long. His sleep was always restless, even after he felt fairly safe again. He guessed he was still suffering from some of that insomnia. Maybe once he was on a real work schedule he could get on a real sleep schedule. He was just tired of feeling tired lately. He knew that Dr. Muller told him his lack of sleep did not help his anxiety any.

He sat on the couch and pondered starting a new movie. Instead he decided he had not done any Tai Chi in a couple days and needed to get some in, if nothing for the physical benefits it had. He looked around the living room for a good spot to do it and discovered there really was not any. He thought about going outside to do it. Nick's backyard was fenced in and he had enough space on the patio to do it. The temperature outside was decent, so he decided to step outside.

He got in his starting position and then proceeded with his movements. It really was amazing how much it relaxed him and yet made him feel better, physically.

Nick had woken up shortly after Greg stepped outside. He noticed he was not in the bedroom, so he went downstairs. He looked around when he spotted him outside on the patio. He watched him in his movements and was amazed at how fluid they were. He was really impressed with how well he seemed to know the martial art.

He figured he spent enough time watching him and decided to go outside and join him. He opened the patio door and Greg quickly stopped and spun around. "Just me," Nick said with his hands up. He seemed to have spooked Greg some. He had to try stop doing that to him.

"Did I wake you up?" Greg asked him, relaxing his stance. "No, I mean, I typically wake around this time anyway. I'll probably try to catch a nap later. What about you?"

Greg walked over to one of the lounge chairs on the patio and sat down. "I have to try to readjust my sleeping habits, so I'll try to get some more closer to midnight or something like that anyway. I slept great that first day here but since then it's like it has been in recent years. I figured I needed a little more physical activity that also relaxes me, so I did some of my tai chi."

Nick sat down on the lounge chair next to him. "I couldn't help but watch you for a little while before I came out. You're really good. Where exactly did you do it in prison?"

Greg frowned. "Mostly in my cell, not a ton of space in there but Dr. Muller would have me do it with him in some sessions too. He's really good for an older guy."

"I need to see this Dr. Muller again. I've only talked to him once and that was a couple years ago. I tried going to him to see if he could get you to see me. He said he would try but he had a feeling you would not change your mind. He also warned he would not push, because you had come so far and he did not want to jeopardize your progress," Nick told him.

"Ah, yes I think I remember him saying something about that now." Greg now looked apologetically at him. "Sorry I pushed you away but at that time, I was so messed up. I didn't really know what I wanted expect isolation from anyone I knew. I think I feared if I saw you or the others, I would lose grasp of the little bit of sanity I had left. Even that day that I saw you for a few seconds, it made me remember there was an outside world that I was missing. If I let myself wonder what my life would have been like outside, I would let my guard down. I couldn't let down my guard, you understand that, right?"

"You mean literally keep your guard up?" Nick was not sure what he was saying.

"Yes, because prior to the incident, anytime I saw one of you, I felt hope that maybe I would get out sooner than expected, since you all seemingly kept saying it was possible. But that idea made me daydream and let my guard down in times I should not have. After, I knew I was not getting out any sooner, so I decided it was time to harden up and not let anyone get my hopes up."

"That's a pretty hard thing to live with, I would imagine," Nick said to him. He never realized he felt this way back there.

"Yeah, it is but it worked. I survived those last years without much incident at all. I grew stronger physically and mentally. Granted Dr. Muller helped a lot but keeping focused on studies and books helped a lot. I became one of the book nerds there. One of those trying to better themselves," he told Nick.

"Yes, but you were already a good person, Greg. Don't you get that?" Nick tried but could not get his reasoning completely.

Greg sighed with some frustration. "I'm not saying I didn't think I was a good person. What I'm saying is that I was trying to be a better, stronger prisoner and not everyone's bitch!"

Nick pursed his lips together. He hated hearing him say that but it did make him understand more. He did not know what to say to him though. Silence fell between them for almost a minute.

Greg finally lay back on the chair and stared up at the night sky. He knew he made Nick uncomfortable with what he said, but he had to hear it. It was the ugly truth.

He marveled at the few stars he could see that were not hidden by the unnatural light pollution of the Vegas Strip. "Wow, it's been forever since I've been able to enjoy a nice evening like this. Can we just enjoy this a little with no talking?" He asked of Nick.

Nick agreed. "Sure" and laid back on his chair too, staring up at the sky.

After a few minutes he felt Greg take his hand into his. He looked over and could see his face shadowed from the light, looking at him. "I feel I need to say it again, thank you for being here for me after all I did to push you away."

Nick felt a bit emotional in the moment. "Greg, I love you. I never stopped. I would do anything for you."

"I know that now," Greg replied and then looked back up at the sky, still holding Nick's hand.

Nick smiled and looked up again too. Greg was coming around; he felt it more and more.

They had ended up going back inside and watching Avengers together. After, they decided to try getting some more sleep.

Greg woke up the next day and decided he was going to do something else he had not done in forever. Nick was going to join him on this endeavor. They both walked outside on the sunny, warm morning.

"Thanks for letting me borrow yet more of your clothes," Greg laughed a little.

"Yeah, something else we will need to add to your ever growing shopping list," Nick said, with a bit of annoyance.

"Well, it's not like I had any choice. I mean you could have maybe kept all of my stuff," Greg did wonder why he got rid of most of his clothes if he planned on him coming home eventually. He did not want to get in an argument again though, so to avoid any further talking he simply jumped into the pool.

When he popped his head out of the water, he saw Nick standing there with his jaw dropped.

"Just like that you jump in?" Nick had to chuckle a little. "Fine," and with that said he jumped in right next to Greg.

Greg laughed and swam out of his way before he surfaced. "This water feels amazing," he cooed as he swam to the other end.

Nick swam to the other corner, opposite of the younger man. "Yes, getting a house with a pool was my best decision."

"As opposed to getting rid of most of my clothes," Greg said sarcastically before diving under and swimming towards Nick.

When he surfaced, Nick was glaring at him. "You want to know when I got rid of all your clothes? The day you turned your back on me in prison. I was pissed off and when I got home, my anger was at its tipping point. I grabbed most of the clothes out of your closet and put them into trash bags. I then drove over to Salvation Army and told them to give them to someone who cares."

Greg felt guilty now. He also knew a little bit more about how Nick dealt with his behavior back then. Greg tried to swim closer to him but he swam away to the other side. Greg went into the corner and wrapped his arm around the railing there.

"Look, I'm sorry I shut you out like that. I already told you why. I can't change what happened. It's in the past. I'm trying to do better," he told him. He was starting to feel his mood dampen now too.

"Yeah, I know. I know," Nick said but he was not facing him. He felt a little of that old anger in him again and didn't want Greg to see it. But Greg could sense that he was mad and it made him feel worse.

He started it and he knew it. He just could not leave it alone. Nick was doing all this for him now and he was practically throwing it back in his face. He hated that he was like that at times. He went under the water and held himself under.

Nick noticed he had not said something, so he turned around and when he did not see him he freaked out a little. He saw him under the water, not really moving. He quickly swam over and grabbed Greg and pulled him up.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nick asked him, concern on his face. Greg had an eerie look in his eyes, something that made him worry more.

"I…I was just thinking," Greg stammered for an answer.

"Underwater?" Nick asked incredulously.

Greg swallowed hard. "Yes," he said and then swam to the other side and got out of the pool. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself. "I need to get something from inside." He opened the patio door and went through it, shutting it behind him.

This all happened so fast, Nick barely had time to figure out what was going on. He was really worried now and jumped out of the pool, grabbing a towel on the way to the patio door and went inside. He saw Greg standing at the kitchen sink. He could have sworn he was staring at the knife rack.

"Greg, what are you doing?" Greg turned to him and held up his pill bottle. "I need to take these. I have not yet today."

Nick came up closer to him and saw him with two pills in his hand. Greg watched him out of the corner of his eyes as he took his glass and filled it with water. He popped the pills into his mouth and then took a swig of water. He placed the glass back down on the counter and looked at Nick.

"We can go back out to the pool if you want to."

Nick just shook his head, not believing he was acting like nothing just happened. Greg was about to walk by him when he grabbed his arm. Greg glared at him. "What?"

"What? You're asking me what? What was that me having to pull you up from under the water?" Nick's eyes blazed.

"I'm having a moment, okay! I realized it and I got out because I knew I needed to take my pills. I forgot to take them yesterday." He sighed heavily with closed eyes. He opened them back up and gazed at Nick. "I'm sorry I freaked you out. I told you things could get rough with me at times."

Nick really studied his eyes and could see the regret in them. He let go of his arm. He ran his hand through his wet hair. "Jesus, Greg! I come in here and I swear you are staring at the knives like you are going to hurt yourself with them."

Greg shook his head. "I wasn't looking at the knives. I was just in deep thought about how stupid I was to forget my pills. I shouldn't miss doses and I know that. I didn't mean to scare you but I kind of scared myself. That's why I ran out to get my pills. Granted they don't kick in immediately but I realize now why I'm so easy feel down right now."

Nick placed his hand on Greg cheek and the other man did not move. "Please, don't scare me like that again. That's all I ask of you."

Greg just stared at him with eyes that were moistening. "I'll try not to." He leaned forward, placing his forehead against Nick's, surprising the older man. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I just really dislike this new version of me."

Nick clasped his hand behind Greg's neck and held him close. "I love you."

They stood like that for a few seconds before Greg pulled back. His eyes were wetter than before. He managed a small smile before saying, "I love you too." He saw Nick's eyes light up and smile.

Nick was in awe, this broken man before him did still love him. He knew he was right to fight for him and not let go.

Greg stepped back now. He did not want things going any further right now. He was too emotional for anything else. "Um, how about we go back to swimming for a while?" he asked with an awkward smile.

Nick took the meaning and was not going to push him any further. Just saying those words to him was a huge step and he knew it.

"Sure, let's enjoy it before I need to get ready for work."

Greg turned and led the way, with a little less worried Nick behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

Greg walked into the third floor lab, feeling his anxiety causing his hands to tremble. "Now's not the time for this," he thought to himself. He had been through two days of orientation and two days of shadowing a current lab technician at Freedom Laboratories. He was now on his last day of the week and he would be doing the work while that lab tech watched him, to see his skills.

The first two days of orientation went well. The day consisted mostly of company history, company policies and procedures, and visits from upper level management. It was overall a rather boring day. He met the other new lab tech. His name was Louis. He was a recent grad from college. He was at the top of his class, similar to what Greg had been when he came out of college. Louis kept mostly to himself. Greg thought for sure that he had been told that Greg was recently out of prison and wanted to keep his distance from him. From the way he would stare at him, when he thought Greg did not notice, he knew it had to be the case. He would look at him like he was some anomaly or something.

Day two was better in that they got to tour the building. It was huge and the labs were fully stocked with the latest equipment. It was exciting and yet made him nervous, hoping he could still catch on quick enough to learn the new machines.

In any case it was not that bad, since the woman who did the orientation seemed to like Greg. Her name was Kelly Jones. She had long blonde hair that she wore back in a ponytail. She had blue eyes and a sweet face. The fact that Greg just recently got out of prison did not seem to faze her at all. She seemed to have the same admiration for him as Thomas Gaylor had.

The last two days he shadowed and watched Rob Manuel work. He was one of their top techs. The new equipment was not too different from the ones he had worked with. He felt pretty good about his abilities to work with the new machines.

Their processes were a bit different than he had at LVPD Crime Lab but that was to be expected. They were held to the highest degree of work there. Here they seemed a little more lax on their procedures, like on who gets the results or such. He thought that was a bit odd but would wait until he was comfortable in the position before suggesting something to hold them more accountable.

Now he was in the lab and having to have someone look over his shoulder as he worked. That always drove him nuts in the past. He remembered the days when Nick or Warrick came in and he would not hear them. They would startle him and he would get mad. That or they just hung out in the lab, waiting on him to give them their results. It was so frustrating at times. But he remembered the good times too there.

He understood why the nerves were happening now, but he would be lying to himself if he said it did not bother him. He managed to calm his nerves down by the time he had to start handling things.

He worked on the batch of DNA samples that were given to him. He had to hand his results over to Rob to look over to see if everything looked correct. He noticed that his shadow hardly watched him but instead watched a TV show on his cell phone, with his ear buds in. He had noticed a lot of people doing that in the lab as they worked. Things had certainly changed since his lab days. Grissom half the time hated him just having music on in the lab. Certainly watching TV on your phone would have been a no-no in Grissom's lab.

When Rob said it was almost lunch time, Greg was happy. He was glad to have a little bit of time without his shadow hovering over him. He prayed he would only have to deal with this today and not next week too.

They had a large cafeteria on the 1st floor. It was past the elevators and through some double doors. They had a grill area and then grab and go type items. It seemed most people liked getting food fresh from the grill.

He ordered a hamburger and fries, with a bottle of water. He sat with Rob, only because he was one of the few people he did know at this place so far. He had not been much for conversation overall but today he seemed to want to chat, suddenly.

"So what was it like working at the LVPD lab? Was it stressful?" Rob asked him as he shoved a fry into his mouth. Greg was finishing a bit of his burger when the question came. He finished his piece off before talking.

"It was kind of a dream job for me. The pay was not like here but knowing I was helping put criminals away, it was amazing. It could get stressful though when big scenes had tons of stuff to be processed and the CSI's were breathing down my neck to get their results," Greg told him.

"So why did you leave the lab?" Rob asked him. Greg studied his face, he seemed to know more about him than he showed previously.

"I got sick of being in the lab. Don't you ever get sick of just sitting in a lab all day, processing stuff? It's harder when you work with the CSI's since they seemed to come back with such interesting stories from their crime scenes. It made me want to be more, I guess."

The red-headed man looked back at his plate and grabbed a few more fries and put them in his mouth. He seemed to be pondering something, Greg felt.

"Why do you ask?" Greg decided to find out if there was more to this.

Rob looked at him, blue eyes curious. "Do you now regret that move since you had that incident in the field?" That is when Greg lost his appetite. He had to know who he was, his prison time. Of course he did. Unless you lived in a cave in Las Vegas or never watched news ever, you had to have heard of him and the Demetrius James death case.

Greg frowned and almost did not want to answer him, but he had a few hours left before he could leave. He had to work with this man and had to make a good impression somehow. "No, I only regret my decision that night to try to save another man's life and while I did save that man, ended up killing another unintentionally."

Rob seemed to gaze at him a moment. He was only a few years older than Greg. He wanted to know what this man he had watching him the last few days really was about. "I happen to like the lab. It's clean, easy and I can do what I want pretty much. You don't get much pressure here and we all just work in our own little spaces, for the most part. If you look around the cafeteria here, most are sitting alone or if they are sitting with others, they hardly talk. We are true science lab nerds. I don't see you as that."

Greg looked around and really took notice of what he said. He looked back at his 'shadow'. "So what do you see me as?"

"I see someone who is truly good at being in the lab, heck I know you were considered top back in the day. But I also see someone who will get restless with the lab work after a while, just as you did back at the Crime Lab. I know you will be successful here, you have the skills, but you will probably get restless." Rob told him.

"So what are you really saying?" Greg wondered. Was he going to warn Thomas Gaylor that he might not stick around? This guy obviously did not know how being an ex-convict made even the most skilled worker's ability to get a job that much harder.

"Look, I just think you will be here for a while but then be ready to move on. This isn't the Crime Lab. It's boring work, really. I can see how you talked about the CSI's, how much you loved it. It sucks what happened and what you went through. I'm probably with the side of the population that thinks it was self-defense. I'm not busting your balls here; I am just saying this job might not be what you want."

Greg felt some relief hearing him say what he said. He had to agree with him though. "I need to work. I'm on parole. Maybe by the time I get restless, I won't have to worry about being on parole anymore. Maybe if Mr. Gaylor eventually moves me to the other facility that will be a change that will work for me."

"You mean FreChem? Yeah, you would interact with the public more, so it is different. I personally hate people," he laughed. Greg smiled, understanding what he meant. Greg had felt that way for since his trial.

"Believe me, I don't love people as much as I used to. Maybe just being in my own little space will work for me now. I'm not exactly the same guy I was before incarceration," Greg confessed.

"Well, seeing you work today, as you could have probably tell I was not worried. You've given me some nice time to catch up on TV shows," he laughed again. "Anyway, you'll do great here. You seem to have very little issue with the differences in the machines you used to work on compared to the slightly more upgrader versions out these days. I just wanted to let you know my impression I have of you since meeting you two days ago. I think you are going to be a great addition to the team. I don't see you slacking off. Believe me we got slackers. I might seem like one today but I'm just taking advantage of someone doing my work for me today," he grinned.

Greg was beginning to like this Rob after all. He guessed he had just been waiting for the right moment to talk to him. "Well thanks for the vote of confidence. It makes me feel much better. Thanks a lot, Rob."

"No problem, Greg. Let's finish our lunch now, since we only got 10 minutes left. Then I can get back to my TV shows while you process some toxicology samples."

Greg smiled. "Sounds good to me." He grabbed his hamburger and finished it off, having regained his appetite after all.

About 4 hours later, Greg was putting away his lab coat in his locker in the locker room they had. He was about to exit when Tom Gaylor came in. He was a bit startled at first; he really hated people sneaking up on him lately.

Tom seemed to have noticed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to ask how you like things so far."

Greg waved his hand off on the startle comment. "It's okay. One of these days I will get used to people sneaking in on me. As for work, it's going good so far. I like Rob."

Tom smiled. "I just talked to him. He's one of my top techs here. He said he really isn't worried about you. He said you are pretty much ready to jump into regular work next week. What do you think?"

Greg's eyes lit up. "Yeah, that would be great. I guess being in the lab is like riding a bike."

"Well, consider it done then. You will keep the same hours. I bet you will be glad next week Friday to get that first paycheck again," Tom added.

Greg nodded. "I sure will be. Thank you so much again for the job. I can't tell you how much it means to me. I owe you."

Tom smiled a little too widely. "I'm sure you'll be able to make it up to me at some point. You have a good weekend now."

"Thanks! I plan to," Greg said and walked out with Tom to the elevators. Tom waved goodbye and then went into the elevator.

Greg went out to the lobby and looked to see if Nick was outside waiting on him yet. Nick had been getting home from work, picking him up and taking him to work. He would then go home and sleep and pick up Greg after he woke up. There was one day that he had to call Greg and tell him he was not going to be home in time to take him into work. He told Greg to catch Uber. He had created an account for him to use, that had his credit card on file.

The time they spent together was mostly catching up on the days doings and having dinner together before Nick had to leave for work. Greg was grateful that due to Nick's position now as Shift Supervisor, he could take the weekends off. He never used to but now he had told his boss, D.B. Russell, that he wanted to take off the weekends more often. Russell did not seem to mind since he liked to work the weekends. Nick had said he was an odd guy. Greg was curious to meet him one day but not anytime soon. He still was not ready to step foot in the Crime Lab, even to see those he still knew there.

He saw Nick's Blue SUV pull up. He walked outside to the vehicle. "Hey, how did the day go?" Nick asked the second he was seated.

Greg put on his seatbelt. "It actually was really good." He proceeded to tell Nick all about his day and mostly his conversation with his fellow lab tech, Rob.

"Good to hear you are getting along with Rob finally. I guess he just needed to see you at work to see that you were still completely competent. I told you that would be the case. I had no doubts," Nick grinned.

"Yes, I guess it was only me who had the doubts. I guess it just went with the territory. It also really helps to have an area manager rooting for my success," Greg told him.

"Agreed. How about dinner out tonight in celebration of making it through week one of your job?" Nick asked him.

"I guess I'm up for that. Do you have any place in mind?"

Nick told him about his new Italian restaurant he has wanted to try. It was closer to the house. Greg said wherever he wanted to go, he was fine with it.


	11. Chapter 11

The place was fancier inside than Greg was expecting. At least he was still dressed in his better clothes. He figured next week he could start to dress more casual. Most of the lab techs wore jeans and t-shirts under their white lab coats.

They were seated at a table in the middle of the place. He was not thrilled being in the center of everything.

Nick noticed he seemed a bit uncomfortable with the location. He thought that maybe he was over that by now with work, but apparently not.

Greg kept their dinner conversation to Nick's recent cases. He still liked to hear about what he was working on. Nick liked to talk about them with him too. Sometimes he would come up with something that Nick had not thought of. Nick realized how much it sucked that his talents were going to waste. He was a really good CSI and it was a shame he could never do that again.

Their meals came and they were delicious. Nick noticed how much Greg ate these days. It seemed like he had an endless appetite and yet he did not gain any weight.

Greg happened to notice this older couple staring at him. When he caught the man's eyes, he looked away. Greg frowned. They must have recognized him. Nick saw Greg gazing across the room. "What's wrong?" Greg broke his gaze and looked at Nick. "Nothing is wrong."

Nick scowled. "BS, something is up. What do you see someone you know or is it the other way around?"

Greg narrowed his eyes at Nick. "Don't get on my case, I just got distra…," He paused misword when a familiar face came up on the other side of their table. "Dr. Muller, what are you doing here?" He asked, with genuine surprise.

The elder man smiled at him. "I was not completely sure that was you, but as I got closer I realized it was. You look great, Greg. I was just having dinner with a colleague here," Dr. Muller referenced a table across the room with an older female sitting at it. He then looked at Nick. Greg noticed this and was not sure he remembered Nick by sight.

"Nick, do you remember Dr. Muller? Dr. Muller, I bet you didn't expect this to happen so soon," he gestured towards Nick and then himself.

Dr. Muller held out his hand and Nick took and shook it. "Yes, I have not seen you in some time, but I definitely remember the man who has helped Greg so much." Dr. Muller smiled at him and then looked at Greg.

"Greg, you are correct in saying I didn't expect you two to be together so soon after getting out. I must say, he must be doing a world of wonder for you, because you actually look pretty happy."

Greg glanced over at Nick, who was watching him with warm eyes. Greg smirked. "Yeah, I guess I am pretty happy, considering only being out a couple of weeks."

"That's great, Greg. I don't want to keep you two that long. I need to get back to my dinner companion. I assume we still have our session coming up," Dr. Muller reminded him.

Greg suddenly realized with his job being 8:30-5pm, he would not be available to meet him. "Uh, crap. I got a job now and it's Monday to Friday 8:30-5pm. I completely forgot."

"A job already? That's great. Well, I do see some patients on the weekend for limited time. Call my office Monday and we will try to fit you in within the next week. Even if it's after your shift, you have to see me this coming week for sure," Dr. Muller reminded him.

Greg knew that he had to see Dr. Muller at least every three weeks. It had gradually lessened over the years and was cut to every 3 weeks once he was put on parole. Greg agreed to call him on Monday during a break to reschedule.

Dr. Muller said his goodbyes and left them alone again.

"That was crazy, him running into us here," Greg said, still with a smile on his face. Nick was so glad to see him smiling so much more often now. His wish for happiness for Greg seemed to be doing fairly well, with a few expiations here and there.

When they got home, Nick had to get ready for work. He reminded Greg that he would be home the next few evenings.

Greg was fine with that. He had been trying all week to get to sleep while Nick was working, since he had to go to work pretty much first thing in the morning. They really were not getting to see each other too much, which kind of sucked. But it was also good, in that Greg did not feel pressure from the Texan to get closer.

After this week though, he was feeling more confident and perhaps soon would be willing to show his affections again to Nick.

Once Nick left, Greg decided to watch another movie. He did not think he would ever catch up on all the movies he wanted to see. He did not even try to watch at the TV shows. Nick had told him about all the streaming services now, like Netflix and Hulu and their TV Shows. Nick said maybe one day they could just binge watch one season of a TV show together. The idea of sitting around all day watching one show boggled Greg. He did not think he was capable of sitting still all day doing that. Granted he had calmed down a lot since his days in prison, in which he could not be as active anyway, but it was not the same.

After finishing Iron Man 3, he went to bed. He was really tired. It was later than he had planned to stay up, but at least he knew he did not have to work the next morning. He could sleep in if he wanted to.

His plan to sleep in failed again. He woke up around 7:00 am. He guessed his having to wake up all week at that time had started to take root.

He knew Nick would be home probably within the next hour. He decided to get up and make some breakfast for him when he got home. He had been so great all week taking him to and from work with the exception of the one morning, he felt he owed him a nice hearty breakfast.

He was cooking up sausage and hash browns when he heard the front door open.

"Hmm, something smells delicious in here." Greg looked up and saw Nick come in around the corner of the kitchen.

"Good Morning. I thought since I could not sleep in, I would cook you up a nice meal since I have time today. I was waiting until you got home to make the Belgian Waffles. So glad I got you this waffle maker that one Christmas," he grinned as he turned it on to warm up.

"I'm surprised you found it. I have not used it in years," Nick told him as he took a seat at the kitchen counter bar.

"Really? You never used it just for yourself?" Greg wondered.

Nick shrugged. "You're the one who bought it for me but always used it to make the waffles. It made me miss you because I would think of you using it and cooking for me."

Greg was touched. "Well, I'm back so expect more Belgian Waffles in your future," he grinned as he poured the batter in the waffle maker.

He finished off the first one and went back to the other items cooking. "So how was work?"

Nick proceeded to tell him about another murder that happened while someone was on that C-pak drug.

"No one has found out where they are getting this stuff yet?" Greg asked him.

Nick shook his head. "Nope, apparently everyone that has been found with it seem to have amnesia about where it came from. They just say they got it on the streets and that it helped with their pain."

"Glad I never turned to drugs," Greg mused.

"What made you say that?" Nick wondered. Greg looked up from his cooking. "Well you have to know that there is a little black market in prison for drugs. I was offered some a few times but never wanted to go down that road."

Nick pondered his comment a moment. "It amazes me the things that prisoners get away with." Greg stopped what he was doing, as his mind wandered back. "Yeah it is."

The older man noticed the younger man's expression blank, seemingly in a daze. He had not been thinking what that comment might mean to Greg. He must have brought his worst memories to the forefront. "I'm sorry. I was not thinking when I said that."

Greg broke out of his daze and looked down at the sausage that needed to be plated. "Don't worry about it," he said softly as he focused on preparing a plate of food.

There was so much Nick did not know. He only knew the worst of it in very basic details that the doctor told him. He did not know any details of the actual events that caused Greg's few infirmary visits and one to the actual hospital. Greg never spoke of them. He was not sure he ever really would. He knew he talked to his shrink about it and he guessed that had to be good enough for him. He figured if he wanted to talk about it, he would.

Greg placed a plate in front of him with a huge Belgian Waffle, two pieces of sausage and some hash browns. Greg then went to the refrigerator and got the bottle of orange juice out and placed a glass and the bottle in front of Nick. "We'll eat at the counter today," he told him as he then went to make his own waffle.

Nick noticed he had placed him in a slightly somber mood. He felt bad about that now. He had been so chipper when he came home. He had to remember what Greg warned him about the bouts of depression coming in waves. He just felt bad he caused some memory or memories that brought it on. He decided to try to change the mood back.

He poured some maple syrup on the Belgian Waffle. He took a few bites of his food before saying anything. "God, I've missed your amazing breakfasts. So good, Greg!"

Greg was suddenly curious about something. He looked directly at Nick, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Has no one else cooked for you at all? I mean you said you had a few flings while I was away."

"Why would you ask this now?" Nick questioned.

"I'm curious, that's all. Look, I fully told you to move on. I'm fine with anything that happened while I was gone. I'm just curious is all," he told him.

Nick did notice he did have a look of peeked curiosity. "There was this one guy, Todd that did try to cook for me. He made an omelet. It was not one of your omelets. It was runny and just not very flavorful. He didn't put all the crap you put in yours."

Greg made a fist and brushed it against his shirt. "I knew it. I am king of breakfast!" He grinned.

` Nick loved to see the old Greg come out when he did like in that moment. "Yes, you are." Nick laughed.

Greg finished making his breakfast and ate with Nick. They talked more about his work day and the lab and he missed the old crew. Nick cleaned up since Greg had done all the cooking.

Greg was going through the TV and decided to watch the news. He had not really been watching it since he got out. A few stories in and he knew why.

Nick had not been paying attention to him but when he came into the living room to sit with him. He noticed the grim look on his face. He looked over at the TV and saw the news on. He sat down next to Greg and asked him what was wrong. Greg sighed heavily and turned off the TV. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I knew that she recognized me."

"Who recognized you?"

"At the restaurant, I noticed this woman staring at me and the man with her. When I caught their eye, they looked away. Apparently she is a reporter and she must have recognized me and found out I was released. It was on the news. They practically rehashed the whole thing. I guess the only good thing was that she thought I looked like 'the years in prison hardly affected him'." He said with his fingers in the air, doing air quotes. "She knows nothing of how it affected me. Just because I don't look wrecked doesn't mean I don't feel that way half the time." Nick could see he was feeling low again.

"I know you are still suffering. I see it often enough, like now," Nick said to him. Greg looked at him sadly. "Remind me not to watch the news ever again."

Nick gave him a sad smile. "I don't think you'll be able to avoid it forever, however now that it is out…its out. You don't have to keep waiting for that to happen now. It's done."

Greg looked at him; his Nick, his rock, the one person who never gave up on him. The one real positive in his life. "I really missed you all those years. I think now and wonder why I pushed you away. I think it was for my own protection, really. It was bad enough some in there knew I was a CSI but when in the visitor's room, they saw all these other CSI's visiting me, their hate for me grew more. I couldn't take it anymore, being scared all the time. I had to change, I had to be tougher. I had to let them see I was not part of law enforcement anymore. I had to separate myself completely from you all. In the end, it worked but deep down it hurt me. I know that now as I look at you."

The somber look in his eyes was torture to Nick. He just wanted to hug him but he knew he had to let Greg make the first move. "I've forgiven you Greg, you know that, right?"

He smiled softly. "I know." He was gazing intensely at Nick.

Nick could feel his heart beating faster under his gaze. The next thing he knew Greg's lips were on his. He felt Greg's hand come around the back of his neck to bring him closer. Nick snaked his hands around Greg's waist, drawing his whole body closer. The years of yearning to be kissing each other once again intensified the kiss.

Greg pulled back briefly. His big, brown eyes still holding his gaze steady on Nick's eyes. "Is this okay?" he asked, seemingly unsure.

Nick simply answered by grabbing Greg's face and pulling him in for another kiss. Greg felt his tongue probe his lips to open more. He opened and let Nick's tongue explore his mouth, as he did the same with Nick. Kissing Nick again was the best decision he had made in ages.

"I've missed you so much," Greg mumbled through the kisses. Nick started trailing his kisses down his neck. Greg allowed him to carry on, feeling amazing at the affection being placed upon him. When Nick suddenly stopped, Greg moaned a little.

Nick laughed. "Do you want to maybe take this upstairs or are you not ready to go any further? I don't want to make you do anything you're not ready to do," he ended more seriously. He saw Greg shake his head. "I'm ready. I need this. I need you."

Nick smiled; his heart in his mouth. "I need you too. Come on," he stood up and held out his hand. Greg took it and followed him upstairs. They went into Nick's bedroom. Nick saw Greg give a strange look to the bed. He had a feeling what might have been on his mind. "It's actually a fairly new mattress that has only had me on it."

Greg looked at Nick and grinned. "How did you know that is what I was thinking?" Nick lightly pushed Greg back onto the bed. "Because I know you," he smirked before leaning down over Greg.

Greg scooted back on the bed, as Nick crawled up over him. Nick bent down and restarted his kissing down Greg's neck. Greg had forgotten how much he loved the feel of Nick on him. Greg started tugging at the bottom of Nick's shirt, telling him he wanted it off. Nick obeyed and took his shirt off. Greg marveled again at his physique. "You're still beautiful," he told him as he gazed upon his sculpted chest.

Nick smiled but then nodded towards Greg's own t-shirt. "May I have the pleasure?" Greg got his meaning and sat up a moment. He allowed the older man to pull his shirt off. He tossed it to the side as Greg lay back again. Nick was still grinning as he leaned down and started on Greg's collar bone and started kissing down his chest. He would glance up and see Greg's head back in the pillow, with his eyes closed.

He reached his lower stomach where he noticed some scarring. He knew of these just not the full story of how they got there. He started kissing the scars. "You're so beautiful, no matter what," Nick murmured through the kiss. He had glanced up and saw Greg staring at him now, emotion swirling in his eyes. He became a little concerned. "Do you want me to stop?" Greg shook his head though. "Keep going," he said quietly.

Nick continued and noticed a tenting in Greg's pants. He gazed up at the younger man again. "I want to taste you," he said in a low voice. "Please," was all Greg said. Nick felt Greg's eyes on him as he unbuttoned his pants and pulled down his zipper. He helped Greg shimmy out of his pants. He then continued to pull off his underwear, until he was completely naked. He felt the big, brown eyes watching him closely. He could feel a little bit of tension in the body below him.

"I'm going to take you now," Nick told him. Greg swallowed hard as he was a mix of nerves and excitement at the thought. He just nodded. Nick took him into his mouth. He was amazed by how much trust Greg was placing in him. He knew he had been through a lot but he also knew he needed to know he was loved.

Nick felt Greg start to writhe some as he came near to his breaking point. "Oh Nick, Oh how I love you," he breathed heavily as he was about to come. Nick took him all in and pushed him until he let go. He heard his name yelled out as Greg came. He was happy to make him feel this way.

After a little bit, Nick crawled up besides Greg. "How you doing?" Greg's eyes were semi-glassy. "Amazing, so amazing." Nick grinned, pleased with himself.

Greg finally turned his attention to Nick and saw he was hard. "You want me to take care of that for you," he smirked. But Nick's expression told him he wanted more. "I want to make love to you, Greg. Will you allow me?" Greg was a little more hesitant this time.

"Slow and easy…okay?" he said softly, trying not to let some memories creep in of other times. Nick smiled warmly. "That's how I want it too, Greg." Greg then nodded for him to go ahead. Nick got off the bed and made a little striptease of taking off his pants to get Greg more in the mood again. He saw the smile form on his lips, so he knew it worked. He went around to the nightstand and grabbed some lube and a condom.

He straddled the Greg on the bed again. "Scoot up so you can watch me as I make love to you." He kept saying the words so Greg would know that is all he cared about in the act. Greg did as he was told. Nick smiled down at him. "I'll go as slow as you like, just let me know."

"I will. I love you Nick!" He told him before his Texan lover prepared him.

"I love you too." Nick bent over and kissed him to calm the nerves he could see from his trembling hands. "You have nothing to worry about."


	12. Chapter 12

Nick was woken up to a scream again. It came from the man right next to him in bed. Greg had woken himself up this time. He was shaking a little. Nick just watched him as he seemed to be taking deep breaths to calm himself down some. He could see Greg look at him out of the corner of his eyes.

"Well, aren't you going to ask if I want to talk about it?" the younger man asked.

Nick shrugged. "If you want to talk, you will. I'm not going to push you to do it." Greg made a slow, understanding nod.

He laid back down on his back and stared up at the ceiling. After a few moments of silence, Nick figured he just wanted to try to get back to sleep so Nick figured he would do the same and closed his eyes. Suddenly he heard Greg speak.

"It's probably the one that reoccurs the most. Sometimes it's slightly altered but it pretty much plays out as it happened. It's my worst memory from prison." He could tell Nick was listening but still did not say a word. Perhaps he was scared to interrupt him. He felt he did need to tell Nick this since it might answer some questions for him.

"I had started to head back to my cell before the others, to get out of their way and avoid any more confrontations. In the beginning it worked, but I guess some were aware of this practice. The one day, I was back early and was leaning over my sink, washing my face off, when I was slammed against it. Face down on the side of the sink. I felt someone pressing behind me. I then saw a face I recognized come down besides mine, holding a shank. He pressed it against my throat. He whispered in my ear 'Don't try yelling for help. If you do I'll slice your throat. I've been waiting to get you like this for some time now. We're going to have some fun first.'"

"I couldn't place him exactly, but he no doubt knew who I was. I could see out of the corner of my eye, three more men in my cell. One was on the lookout and the other two were helping him hold me down. He came around and I felt another one of them press against me. They were much larger than me, I had no chance to fight them off. My pants were pulled down." He had to pause. His hands had started to shake. He closed his eyes, trying to contain the emotions until he was finished.

Nick already had tears in his eyes. He could see Greg struggling now to say more. He was about to tell him he heard enough when Greg spoke again.

"They were fast and rough. While one was inside me, shank guy pushed my head off the sink, where it had been plastered and forced me to give him head. When they all had their turn and shank guy was satisfied, he pulled my head up. He then said to me 'it was good while it lasted but I don't want to see your face around here anymore.' With that, he started stabbing me with the shank in the stomach. I vaguely remember hearing the one guy say the guards were coming. They suddenly let me go and as I fell, I guess I hit my forehead on the sink on the way down. All I remember is everything turning black and the next time waking up in the hospital." Greg abruptly turned on his side and covered his face with his trembling hands. He had turned towards Nick though.

Nick's tears were falling but he wrapped his arms around Greg and held him close. Greg sobbed softly into his chest. This was the first time he had Greg break down on him since prison, the first time he heard the details of how the most noticeable scars on his body came to be.

"I remember getting a call from the prison, saying something had happened to you. My heart nearly stopped. I thought you had been killed. After the previous beatings I had heard about, I thought for sure this time they were going to tell me you were dead. They told me you were at Desert Palms. You had been stabbed several times and had a concussion. They said I could see you. I got over there as soon as I could.

"Once there I saw your doctor, they said you were lucky it was such a small knife, the stomach wounds did not cause major damage. However, they were more worried about your concussion, seeing as you had not woken up yet. They let me see you and I had not seen you in a while. You looked horrible. You had lost weight and I could see still healing bruises from other fights and beatings you had taken and I never heard about. I wanted to just take you home so badly, but they had an officer outside your door at all times. When I asked who did it, they said it was a few other prisoners who were now in solitary confinement.

"I could not stay long, but I came back the next day and they said you had regained consciousness." Greg lifted his head up and looked at Nick with puffy, red eyes. "I don't remember you visiting," he told him.

Nick touched the deep scar up above his eye. "You don't remember because you were not really coherent at the time. You were awake but kind of like in a daze. You mumbled some but did not make sense. I had to leave for work after a while. Apparently a few hours after I left, you started making sense and were aware of your surroundings again. Once you became fully conscious, they would not let anyone visit you anymore."

Greg looked thoughtful. "I vaguely remember my time in the hospital. All I know is when I was coherent; all I wanted to do was die. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I didn't want to go back but I knew I was. I was hoping to figure out a way to off myself before I left the hospital but with the cop always around and hospital personnel, I had no chance. When I was back in a new cell, I tried thinking of a way. I remembered that one case of the guy hanging himself. And well, you know the rest," he whispered.

Nick just pulled him closer and did not want to let go. He could feel the younger man's trembling starting to subside some.

Greg did not say anything more. He felt exhausted from the confession. It took a lot for him to tell Nick all that. It had taken him a lot to talk about it with his shrink when he first did but that was a few years ago now. He had not spoken of it since.

"I'm so sorry Greg. I should have done more. I should have figured out a way to get you out of there, legally. We should have been able to prove your innocence completely. If there had not been that damn camera angle that showed your truck but not him with the brick. The only camera in the alley and it had the worst view," Nick cursed under his breath.

"You did the best you could with what you had to work with. I don't blame anyone but myself." Nick unexpectedly grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away so he could see his face completely.

"No. No, you should not blame yourself. You saved that other man. Demetrius James is at fault. He's the one who was beating up the other man with his fellow thugs and came at you with the brick." Greg shook his head though.

"You're wrong. I was in a SUV. What more could he had done than bust my windshield? I ran him over and killed him," Greg exclaimed.

"What more could he have done? Did you ever think about if the windshield had busted, glass could have cut you? Hurt you? The others could have come back and taken advantage of you being unaware and beaten you too. They could have easily pulled you out of the vehicle and killed you instead. I've thought about these things. You did the best you could do in that situation. The public had it wrong. They were just sick of seeing all these stories in the news about cops killing blacks and they made you a scape goat. They wanted to prove a point with you. It was not right. Your case should have never gone beyond the coroner's inquest. They railroaded you and you let them," Nick roared. He noticed Greg was shaking again and he looked distressed. He realized he was yelling at him just because he still had so much anger about the situation. He did not mean to upset Greg though.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be yelling at you. I just hate, really hate what happened and I had no control over it. I couldn't do a thing for you in prison. I hate what you had to go through there. The prison system sucks and I just…I just," but he couldn't continue since he started crying again. He just thought of all Greg had told him and never wanted him to hurt like that.

Greg reached out and took his right hand. "I know…I know. But look, I am better now. The last few years they finally put me in the area of the prison I should have been in the first place. I got help, I got stronger. Just now, I had not talked out loud about that day since I told Dr. Muller a couple years ago. Sure, it haunts my dreams some nights but it's not the same to really say it out loud, admitting again to myself that it happened. You know what I mean?"

Nick looked at the beautiful man lying in bed next to him and did see that strength in him. He had somehow survived that wretched time in prison and came out better than he ever thought. "I love you, Greg. I love you so much it hurts sometimes."

Greg smiled finally. "I love you too. I can't believe I am so lucky that you still want me after all this time."

Nick smiled a little seductively. "I'll always want you." He put his hand behind Greg's neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

After about a minute, Greg pulled back and smiled gratefully at him. "I really needed that right now."

Nick brought his hand up to Greg's face and gently rubbed his thumb on his cheek. "You look exhausted. Do you want to try to get some more sleep?"

Greg nodded. "Yeah I think I'm mentally and physically exhausted."

"Fine, then let's try to get some more sleep," Nick told him.

Greg shifted around so that his back was to Nick's chest. Nick wrapped his arm around him and held him close. Greg closed his eyes and just let the warmth of Nick's loving embrace lull him into sleep.

A few hours later, Nick awoke and saw that Greg was still asleep. He was happy to see him resting soundly. After his confession, he knew he made the right decision in being there for him after getting out of prison. He could not imagine him being all alone out there right now.

Greg started to stir. Nick watched him open his eyes and smile as he saw Nick. "I like waking up to you again," Greg told him. "I feel the same way." Nick gave him a quick kiss.

Greg proceeded to roll over on his back. "What time is it anyway?" he said through a stifled yawn. Nick glanced over at the clock and groaned. "You're not going to like it. It's 6pm."

Greg sat up. "Shit! Really?" he asked as he looked at the time himself. "Fuck, that's going to screw up my sleep schedule."

"Sorry, that's my fault. Besides, you must have needed the sleep if you slept as long as I did," Nick told him. Greg sighed. "I guess. Those emotional confessions are tiring, let me tell you." Nick placed his hand on Greg's shoulder. "I know."

"I feel like I need a shower," Greg said to him. Nick had an idea come to him. "You know I have this big garden tub in my master bathroom here. Would you want to share a bath?"

Greg narrowed his eyes at him. "I see ulterior motives here," he said with a smirk. Nick grinned. "Of course, but now that we are together again…I mean we are together again, right? It was not just a moment."

The younger man contemplated a moment. "I guess. I mean we never really truly broke apart. Time and distance broke us apart."

"You kept the distance even more by not letting me visit you," Nick scowled. Greg looked down. "I know. I needed the space to get better. I'm sorry." Nick shook his head. This man had just confessed his worst experience only a few hours ago and here he was apologizing.

"Greg, I'm sorry. I guess I get touchy about that subject but after what you told me, I cannot blame you. I would have probably created distance too. God knows I did after being buried alive. I have no right to complain. I just want us to be together again."

Greg stood up and held his hand out. "Then let's go take that bath together if that is the case," he said with a small smile.

Nick filled the tub and threw in a bath bomb. Greg laughed. "You actually have bath bombs? How often do you take baths these days?"

"Hey, as you get older the body aches more after a long day at work and a nice soothing bath feels good on the aching muscles. Our old house's tub was not big enough to feel comfortable. This one is nice and large and you will see how good it feels," Nick scoffed.

Greg gave a slightly skeptical glare his way but then laughed. He was just teasing him. "You know you're sexy when you are mad," Greg said, sucking him bottom lip in for effect.

Nick stepped slowly into the bathtub and settled himself down. He grinned and looked up at Greg, who was still standing outside the tub. "So are you joining me or what?" Greg looked down at the water. It was dark with sparkly bits in it. "What kind of bath bomb did you use?"

"Intergalactic, it's nice. Come on, are you scared of a little bath bomb?" He chuckled. Greg scowled and decided to step in. It did feel good once he settles down across from Nick.

"Okay, this does feel good, I'll admit it," he confessed. Nick smiled. "I thought you would enjoy it. You can enjoy it more if you change positions and lean against me." Greg decided to do that. Once he was leaning against Nick, he felt the Texan's arms come around him. He rested his chin on his shoulder.

"You know, I've missed you terribly," Nick told him softly. Greg laid his head back on Nick's shoulder. "I've missed you more than you can ever know. And I know that is hard to believe with the way I pushed you away but it was when I had to think of happy thoughts, they always involved you. You got me through the tough times without even knowing it."

"And I will continue to add happy memories to get you through any future tough times you have. Just remember I am here for you, always," Nick told him. "I know."

Nick grabbed a sponge from the side and dropped it in the water. "Lean forward a little and I will get your back." Greg did as told and felt the sponge glide gently over the old burn scars from the lab explosion. He hardly even thought of those scars much anymore but he knew Nick still did. They had only started to date when that happened and it scared the crap out of Nick when he heard what happened to him.

Nick finished with his back and had him lean into him again so he could take the sponge to his chest. His hands made their way south on his body. Nick let go of the sponge. He touched Greg and heard his breath hitch as he worked his member. Greg was putty in his hands now and he would not have it any other way. He wanted to give this man as much pleasure as he could to wipe those bad memories away. This was one way he could.


	13. Chapter 13

A few weeks had passed. Greg and Nick's relationship had gotten closer again, almost as it was before Greg's world shifted south. Greg was officially out of the guest bedroom and moved his stuff, the little he still had, into the Master Bedroom. He was waiting for a full month on the job, which he was about at, to buy some stuff for himself. He wanted to have a good amount of money accumulated in his bank account.

It was getting too hard to take Greg to work in the morning, since Nick often ran over on his shift and Greg had to take Uber. He decided to pitch in some money to get Greg a cheap car. Greg would pay him back as soon as he had the funds. He got himself a 2002 Honda Civic. It was nothing spectacular but it ran, that was all that mattered. Now Greg was able to get himself to and from work without having to worry about Nick's schedule.

They did not see each other except for the few hours between Greg getting home and Nick having to go to work and the weekends.

Work was going well for Greg in the lab. He bounced between DNA and Toxicology areas. The one thing he didn't like was how everyone there really seemed to keep to themselves. It did not have the fun, family atmosphere that the LVPD Crime Lab had. He really missed that. It was kind of lonely feeling on the job.

Tom Gaylor approached him on the Friday of his fourth week of regular work. "So how are you liking working here in the lab so far?" he asked him.

"I like the work, but I have to admit I am used to a little friendlier environment in the workplace. I mean everyone here just mostly keeps to themselves. It's not the craziness of the Crime Lab," Greg admitted to him.

Tom nodded. "Yes, I had a feeling you might end up feeling that way. I know over there at LVPD it was a crazy place to work in; lots of excitement."

"Yes, definitely." Greg agreed. Tom pulled up a chair next to Greg. "That is why I am here today. Remember me telling you about the little subsidiary we have, FreChem? I want to see if you would be interested in working over there."

Greg really did not hear any of the others talk about that place hardly at all. "Well, I think I would like to see what it's like over there first and see what exactly I would be doing. You said it would not be as much lab work and more working with people, if I remember correctly."

"Of course I can bring you over there to see what it's all about. You do not hear many talking about it because only a select few people here know about it. It's kind of our secret little subsidiary. We only like our best and brightest over there. You are good with chemical compounds. You know how many drugs affect the human body from your previous line of work. I think you would be good there since we get so many down and out people coming in looking for help. We usually run toxicology on our patients before deciding with test drug to let them have for their issues," Tom told him.

"So this is really a medical research type facility, from what it sounds like," Greg assumed.

"Yes, you can consider it that. Some of the things we are giving out are still being tested but we know they work, we are just testing them on people with different conditions. We have a few things waiting FDA approval to go out to the mainstream public."

Greg wondered a moment. "Have you heard of C-pak?" He noticed Tom furrow his eyebrows. "Do you mean Z-Pack?" Greg shook his head. "No, not the antibiotics. This is called C-pak. It's something on the streets here that have been making people do crazy things. Supposedly they are tracing some of it back to clinics."

Tom looked confused. "No, I've not heard of it, but I don't watch the news much these days. I assume you know of this due to your connections." Greg nodded. "Yes." Greg paused a moment, thinking it odd this guy did not watch the news much.

"I would be interested in some work that was more with people. So I would love to see the place and see what I might be doing. If it looks like something I would be interested, I am sure I would do the switch."

Tom smiled. "That's great to hear. I will have one of our supervisors from over there come on Monday to pick you up and take you on a tour over there. Then you can let me know what you think. I think since you are more of a people person than some of these other lab rats are, you would be an excellent fit over there."

"Sounds great! I look forward to seeing the place."

Greg finished off his work day and headed home. He was happy to get a different opportunity to work. He did think that maybe working there, if it was what he thought it was, he might be able to talk to the clients that came in and ask about that C-Pak drug and see if he could help Nick out on some information. He missed doing good like that, so maybe this position would be more up his alley, getting to help out those in need.

When he walked in the door, he could smell dinner cooking. Nick was now off Friday and Saturday nights instead, so they had more time to spend together. Nick had started cooking for dinner since he did not have to pick up Greg from work anymore. It was nice him having his own car again.

"Something smells incredible. Whatcha cooking," he asked as he walked into the kitchen. He looked at the stove top and saw a wok on it.

"I thought I would do a homemade stir fry. Smells delicious huh!" Greg nodded. Nick turned around and gave him a kiss. "How was work, Babe," he asked, turning back to the stir fry.

"Interesting. Monday I get to see this FreChem place and see if I want to change positions and work there instead. Apparently I am more of a people person and Tom Gaylor thinks I would be better suited working there."

Nick laughed. "A people person, I could see that in the lab days yes. But you did become more subdued when out in the field."

"Yeah, but we were also dealing with murders and grieving families. I'm not going to be all joking and fun in those cases," Greg reminded him.

"I know, I'm just messing with you. You are good with people. It might be a nice change of pace, although will you be worried about people knowing or recognizing you more?"

Greg shrugged. "Well if most are homeless, I doubt they see much news to know me."

"Good point. Why don't you take a seat and get ready for some deliciousness," Nick grinned as he started to plate the food.

As they ate, Greg filled him in on more of what Tom Gaylor said about the other place. "So you actually brought up the C-Pak drug to him and he didn't flinch? I guess that is good. I mean the way this place works, it definitely sounds like a place that could be giving this stuff out."

"Are you trying to say the place I work might not be on the up and up? That's just what I need. I can just see Tony telling me working at a place that is responsible for dealing illegal drugs is possibly a good reason for your parole to be revoked."

"Why would you say such a thing?" Nick asked him. Greg shrugged, looking down. "I don't know. I just feel like this is too good of a thing, getting this job so quickly and already being offered a position with better pay."

"That's just your depression talking. You are smart and you deserve this," Nick tried convincing him. But Greg did feel something off about the whole thing. "You mean to tell me you don't think it's weird at all."

Nick gestured with his hands. "Nevermind what I said. The whole world is weird these days, honestly. Working in the job I work in, you see tons of it. In any case, give it a chance. I mean if you really feel something is not right, you could quit. I am sure you would be able to find another job. I mean you only looked two places."

Greg sighed heavily. "Yeah perhaps." Nick eyed him. "What brought on this wave of depression so suddenly?" he asked. He had been doing pretty well the last few days. He did not understand where these doubts were coming from.

He got up from the table with his plate and went into the kitchen. "I don't know. I guess I was just thinking too much about it," he said as he put the dishes in the sink. Nick got up with his dishes and came behind him. He pressed against the younger man.

"Don't! I'm just not in the mood for anything right now. It's probably best to let me be for a while. I'm going to finish the dishes since you cooked. Then I'm going to step outside and do some tai chi. I think I need it," Greg told him.

The Texan backed away from him, placing the dishes on the counter. "Okay, I'll let you be. I think I'll go for a jog then." He watched Greg nod his head before turning away from him. He really wished he knew why he was suddenly so sullen. Hopefully after he got back from his run, he would be in a better mood.

Greg was not sure what brought on his sudden depression but sometimes it just hit him like that. He did not know why this possible change of work place and position bothered him. He guessed he could always decline it but then Tom may not be too happy with that decision, since it seemed this was something he had planned for him all along. He had to get clear his head that was all he knew.

Once he finished with the dishes, he went upstairs to change into some workout pants and t-shirt. Since it was nice outside, it was perfect to do his tai chi on the patio deck. He stepped outside and breathed in the cooling air. This would help him, it usually did.

An hour later, Nick came back from his long jog. He had not taken a run that long in a while. It was rather refreshing. He walked in and saw Greg through the patio doors, sitting on a lounge chair. He seemed to just be gazing out into the dusk sky.

He decided to go out and join him, even if they did not talk. He opened the patio door and saw Greg turn around to see it was him. He acknowledged him with a slight nod but then turned back to his upward gaze. Nick sat down in the chair next to him. He looked out at the sky and did not see many stars yet. Luckily the back looked away from the city, so the sky was not as light polluted.

"You took a long run," Greg said out of the blue. "I guess I needed some thinking time too," he commented, still looking out just like the man next to him was.

"Thinking can be good," the younger man said softly. Nick finally looked over at his silhouette against the darkening sky. "What about you? Did your tai chi help?"

"Yes some. Honestly, just sitting here has been even better for me. You don't realize how much you take for granted your freedom of just sitting outside on a nice night like this, staring up at the night sky until you are locked away for so many years, never being out at night. It's beautiful," he said quietly.

Nick gazed at him a moment longer, forgetting all the things he missed out on. He looked out at the sky and realized he did take it for granted. He also thought about how lonely his loved one had to be all those years; lonely and scared most of the time. It made him sad. He truly sometimes forgot how hard those years were for him, especially since he had not talked much about it to him, except with these rare insights. It was times like this he just wanted to hug him but he still was not sure he should. There were times when he did and Greg seemed to not want to be held. So now he tried to read signs in his body language to see if he wanted some kind of physical contact or not.

He looked over at him again and suddenly noticed a tear rolling down his cheek. He took that as some kind of sign. He reached out his hand for Greg's. He grabbed it and when he did Greg turned to him, now more clearly he had started to cry. "Babe, let me be there for you," Nick said with some anguish in his voice.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's got into me tonight. I thought I was okay but then I realized today's date and it just got to me," he told him through a sob.

Nick thought of the date and then he realized what it was. It was seven years to the day that he was sent to prison. He fell apart that day, seeing Greg taken away. He can only imagine how Greg really felt. He overall seemed numb to it. He guessed he had already accepted his fate by then and did not want to show his real feelings.

Nick pulled Greg in for a hug, feeling it was appropriate now. Greg rested his head on his shoulder, as he sniffled. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"Please stop apologizing, you have no reason to. I understand." He rubbed his back in a soothing motion.

"You know it only took 3 days for the first beating. It was minor but it was because I let my fear show and that was my mistake those first few years. I was like this, a mess. I try not to get this way anymore because I don't want to be seen as weak anymore," Greg told him, as he kept his head on Nick's shoulder.

"You're not weak. You're the strongest person I know." Greg pulled back and glared at Nick. "You've got to be kidding me. All the beatings and sexual assaults I took and then trying to kill myself? You call that strong?" He asked incredulously.

"But that was then, this is now. You changed, you wanted to and you did. You had every intention of leaving prison and getting by on your own without any help. I call that courageous and strong." Greg frowned though. "Yeah and I immediately took up your offer on help."

Nick shook his head though. "Yeah, but you did not intend to, that is what matters. You did the job search on your own. You got the job on your own. Stop beating yourself up; you keep doing that."

Greg ran his hand through his hair, which he was letting grow out some. He sighed heavily and softened his gaze at Nick. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" Nick smiled at him. "You came to the Crime Lab with all energy and that smile. I think I knew the second I saw you, we would be together someday. I was just still too scared to admit how I felt about men but you did not make me scared of my feelings anymore. That's why. You helped me back then and I am helping you now. I love you, don't ever doubt that."

Greg bashfully shook his head. "I don't doubt it. I know and it amazes me every day." Nick put his hands on his face. "You amaze me," and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

After about a minute, they rested their foreheads against each other's. "You kind of stink," Greg commented with a smirk. Nick lifted his head, glaring at him with a growing grin. "Oh, says the dying flower here."

Greg chuckled some. "Okay I guess that is fair." Nick looked at the pool and had an idea. "Dare you to go skinny dipping with me." He stood up and started taking off his clothes. Greg looked around wildly and then back at him. "Are you serious? Do you think anyone would see us?"

"Nah, these walls are high enough and our neighbors are away on vacation, so no one home to see from a 2nd floor window," Nick told him.

"Are you sure?" Greg was not really comfortable getting naked in the open anymore. Nick could see his aversion to it. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but I am going to." With that he pulled down his underwear and jumped into the pool, splashing some water onto Greg.

Greg looked down at what he was wearing. He could at least strip down to his underwear. He was not ready for full blown nudity outside, even if no one could see them.

Nick watched Greg as he stripped to everything but his boxers and then jump in. He was okay with him not stripping completely. He mostly just wanted to get him back in a good mood.

Greg came up right behind him and splashed him with water. "It's colder than I thought it would be, jerk!" Nick just laughed. "Sorry, but it feels good, you have to admit it."

Greg smiled as Nick turned around to look at him in the moonlight. "Yeah it does feel good and the lighting does wonders for how sexy you look right now."

"Ditto on you!" They swam over to the side and relaxed in the corner. "Yeah, this is nice. Thanks," Greg said to him.

"So you feeling a little better now?" Greg nodded. "Yes, I love seeing my sexy man all wet," he grinned and was splashed with water by his sexy man.


	14. Chapter 14

Greg was ready for Monday after the weekend Nick treated him to. Due to Greg being in the dumps on Friday night, Nick thought that maybe they should get out of town for the weekend. They went to Lake Mead for the weekend. Nick booked a last minute hotel for Saturday night. They left Saturday morning and spent their time relaxing there until Sunday afternoon, since Nick had to work that night.

Greg really enjoyed being outdoors and Nick could see it was making him happy. After their conversation on Friday night, Nick realized that he needed to get him out of the house more often when they could. He was already planning to take him to a show next weekend. He had a few connections to get some discounted tickets, so he would take advantage of those.

Greg went into work with a more positive attitude on the possibility of the new position. He was eager to actually see the new place and see what the job might be like.

The FreChem supervisor, Mike came by to pick him up to take him to the FreChem building. It was about twenty minutes away, off Fremont in the not so good part. It was an old factory building they had transformed into their own needs. The first floor was the clinic where they had a nice lobby with people sitting around waiting to see if they could be part of a medical research program being offered. The two upper floors housed the labs. The second floor was the labs where people worked with return clients and testing their results. The other floor had the actual scientists who were coming up with some of the medications. They had part of this research in the main Freedom Laboratories too.

They wore dark blue lab coats here, like he had back at the crime lab when he was still employed by LVPD. He noticed that those on the third floor seemed to watch him as he came in to tour. "Don't mind them, they are a little overprotective of their work,"Mike said.

"So what is the largest medical study currently going on here? What are you looking for in the test subjects?" Greg asked him.

"There are a lot of your typical pain management studies, cancer studies, and others targeting specific conditions. Mostly we get the pain management types in here. It seems everyone these days is in some kind of pain," Mike shrugged. Mike took Greg back down to the first floor. He introduced him to Megan.

"I'll let you shadow Megan for a few hours, to see how the operations work down here. After lunch, we'll go up to the second floor, most likely were you will end up. I'll have you shadow Kenny up there. He has been with us for a few years now and knows how to deal with the clients well."

Greg went with Megan, who was one of the agents who helped prospective clients fill out the questionnaire and advise them of what things they were eligible for. He stood off to the side as he watched Megan talk to many homeless people who came in looking for some kind of relief from some ailment. If the person agreed to test the medicines and came back for the results testing, they would get paid $50.00. For a homeless person, that meant a few meals they could get. Most of them were willing to take a chance on the side effects that the medicines could give.

It was a real eye opening experience for him to see how eager these people were to try things that could end up causing more damage in the long run. He supposed it was better than nothing to them.

The second half of the day was even more interesting, seeing as this was most likely where he was going to end up working. It was definitely going to be different than anything he had ever done before. Kenny was in his late 40's and seemed like an old pro with his work and ethic.

Kenny was in an office where, after a phlebotomist took a patient's blood, he got the blood and any other things to test. He would run quick results and then the patient would come in to see him and he would talk about how he was feeling. Greg did think it was a little odd there were no doctors doing this but then again these were drugs that were yet to be approved by FDA. Real doctors would be liable for malpractice suits, where these people here signed their life away to FreChem basically, for scientific testing. It did feel a bit unscrupulous but then again medicines to get approved had to be tested in some way.

Greg was just not sure how he felt about the whole thing, though. Maybe once he did it, it would not seem so weird. The questions they asked were already provided to them, depending on the medication the person had taken, so he could stay on script and not have to worry.

After the last client, Kenny turned to Greg. "So what do you think? Do you think you can handle doing this kind of stuff? Some of the people that come in here are scary."

Greg snorted. "Scary…I've seen much scarier, trust me. The people don't worry me. I think it is going to be awkward kind of acting like a doctor but not really being a doctor."

"Oh that's right; you are the former CSI/ex-convict. I guess you probably have seen much scarier. And I understand about the doctor thing. I felt that way at first too, but then you realize we are scientists and chemists and we really know more about these chemicals being given to people more than the doctors, sometimes. We know how things interact with each other. The toxicology results on these people are crucial to seeing if these drugs work or not," Kenny said to him.

Greg could see his point now. "I guess so. So when do I start here?" he asked Kenny. Kenny told him he would work with him tomorrow to get his feet wet and then he would get his own little lab and office to work out of by Wednesday.

"Tom talks highly of you, so I am sure you will do fine. I mean I even heard of you when you worked at the LVPD lab. I bet you didn't realize you had a fan club out there when you were a lab geek."

Greg was amused. "No, I had no idea. But I was a fan of other scientists, so I guess I can see that. Us lab geeks have to stick together, I guess." He smiled. Even if the job seemed weird, he would make it work since he seemed to like the people here.

When he got home, Nick was there with dinner waiting. He anxiously wanted to hear what Greg thought of his new location and job. Greg had walked in with a smile, smelling the food and seeing Nick. "So, how was your day?" Nick asked him as he entered the kitchen. Greg smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Aren't you the eager one to hear all about it? Even cooking dinner for me, how sweet?" He joked with him. Nick frowned only briefly because he knew he was messing with him. "Can I help it if I'm excited to hear how you like the new place?"

"I have not officially started working there. I was only shadowing to see how the place works and what I will be doing. Tomorrow I will shadow all day and learn what I will be doing. Come Wednesday, I will officially be doing the work. Then maybe I can tell you more what it is like."

They sat down for dinner and Greg proceeded to tell him what he witnessed and how he felt uncomfortable at first but later grew to accept it. He told him about how he thought they were acting like Doctors but then came to understand their position better.

"It does sound a little weird but I guess it makes sense too. How about the people you'll be working with?" Nick asked him.

"They seem pretty cool. Apparently I had a fan club I never knew of among the lab geeks of Las Vegas at least," Greg shrugged. Nick smiled at him. "You had to know you were the king in the lab when you were there. Even after you became a CSI, Henry and others would still come to you to when they had problems with results. You always have kept up with your studies, even in prison, you kept up. That is impressive."

Greg felt a little embarrassed at all the praise. "I was good but not that good. I mean, be realistic here. I didn't win any awards or was never published."

"Okay maybe not but your name was known in the Vegas lab circles," Nick told him. "And now I'm known for being sent to prison for the murder of Demetrius James," Greg bringing up the dark reminder. Nick sighed. He was hoping to avoid any of that talk.

"Greg," he just said, as he gave him the knowing eye. Greg frowned. "Sorry," he picked at his food. Nick decided to get back to the job questions.

"So do you think you will like the job?" Greg still played with his food. "I guess. I think I'm a little nervous since it is something I've not really done before. I mean you should have seen all those homeless people coming in, so desperate for any help. I almost feel like we are using them."

Nick nodded slightly. "I can see how you can see it that way. I can sort of see it too, but I guess when you have nothing, you are will to do anything to get something."

"Yeah I suppose. Where do you think you would be right now if I had not picked you up?" Greg looked up, kind of surprised he asked that now. He thought about it a moment before answering him.

"Honestly, I think I would be close to homelessness. I don't know that I would have the job I have now. I somehow think you being there helped things go in the right direction. I know I don't say it enough, but I do want to thank you for not giving up on me. For being there when I got out. I had a foolish fantasy that everything would have been okay once I got out on my own. I realize now though, that I needed help and I would not have gotten to where I am now without you."

Nick reached across the table and took his hand in his. "You're welcome. I'm so glad I could be there for you and you didn't completely deny me. You warmed up to the idea of living with me again quicker than I expected. I'm so happy you are here and we are together again."

Greg looked at the hand holding his and then up to the face that belonged to that hand. "I'm happy to be here with you too. I never thought you would wait for me but you did and it warms my heart every time I think of it. I don't know where I would be without you now. You are my rock."

Nick smiled and then looked at the time. "Damn, I hate having to leave for work. I wish we had more time to spend together."

"Do you think you could ever get on the day shift, after all these years?" Greg asked him.

"I probably could, it's just that there is not as much action on the day shift," Nick told him. Greg chewed his lower lip a moment. "I would not mind not worrying so much about you if you were on the day shift, because there is less action. Don't you think you have been in the middle of it for so long now?"

Nick had not thought about it, but perhaps Greg was right. He was getting older and they had already lost so many years together due to Greg being incarcerated, maybe it was time to rethink changing shifts. "I'll think about it. You make some valid points. I would love to spend more time with you. We have lost so many years."

Greg looked down. "I know. I am hoping we can make up some of it."

"I guess we better start cleaning up, so I can get ready soon," Nick said to him. "You know you could always call in sick," Greg suggested as he stood up and came behind Nick. He leaned over him and started kissing down his throat.

"You're not playing fair," Nick said slowly as he was enjoying the sensation of Greg's lips on him.

"I think you are getting hot, you need to stay home and rest," Greg whispered in his ear as his hands traveled under his shirt now.

Nick jumped as Greg pinched his nipple. "Shit, you really are not playing fair." Greg pulled the chair out with Nick on it and moved to sit on his lap, facing him. Nick was melting at the seductive gaze Greg was giving him. Greg started grinding against Nick, a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Ah, fuck," Nick groaned as he let his head drop back, giving in to Greg's motives. Greg worked off his shirt and Nick's. He started kissing down his neck and down his chest, nipping at his nipples to jar the older man. Nick was putty in Greg's assault on his body. He did not know what got into him, but he was enjoying every bit of the younger man grinding on him.

Greg slid off him and down to his knees. He worked the belt and buttons on Nick's jeans. Nick allowed him to tug them off, but lifting himself off the chair a little. Once Nick was free of his pants, Greg went down on him. Nick was gripping the sides of the chair as Greg worked his mouth on him.

"Jesus Greg! Oh my god! Fuck!" Nick screamed as he came. Greg waited to release him until Nick was limp again. He got up and took the dishes and put them in the sick, leaving Nick mostly naked in his chair. Greg was only shirtless. He still had his pants on.

Nick turned his tired head and watched as Greg simply acted like nothing had just happened and started putting the dishes in the dishwasher. No, he was not going to let this be a one way game. He struggled to get to his feet and came up behind Greg.

Greg knew he was coming but acted like he did not care. Nick grabbed Greg by the waist and turned him around. Greg had a wicked smile on his face because he knew he was about to get his share. Nick grabbed his pants and wildly unbuttoned them and pulled them down his hips. Nick got to his knees and pulled down Greg's boxers, leaving him exposed and ready to be taken. Nick serviced him in a similar manner that he had just been serviced by Greg. The difference was Greg was still standing and he was getting weak kneed as he neared his peak. Nick held him up by the waist as he worked him to come. He felt Greg buckle a little but kept standing. He looked up and could see the sedated look on Greg's face. He was happy he could still make Greg feel so good.

Nick slowly made his way back to his feet. Greg looked at him through half-mast eyes. "So you still going into work?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well, I technically still have time to take another shower and make it in," Nick told him. He saw Greg pout. "I have a major murder case I am working on and getting close to finding out who the killer is. I need to go in," Nick told him as he grabbed his shirt from the floor by the kitchen table.

"Fine, I understand," Greg said, but was still pouting. Nick came over to him and touched his lips before kissing him. "You're so cute when you pout." Greg just rolled his eyes at him.

"Go take your shower. I will finish cleaning up here."

A half hour later, Nick was saying goodbye for the night. He knew Greg wanted to spend more time together. Perhaps he would ask D.B. Russell tonight about the possibilities of changing to day shift. He had been with the lab for 15 plus years now. He thought he deserved it.

"I love you," Nick told him as he left. "I love you too," Greg replied back as he watched him get into his car. He waited until he was gone before going back inside and locking up for the night.

Greg now had to live with his thoughts about his job until he decided to go to bed. Nick helped take his mind off his silly worries in regards to the job. He knew it was his still lack of confidence that caused him to worry. Hopefully tomorrow would be smoother at work and things would warm up to him.


	15. Chapter 15

Greg was in his new job for almost two weeks now. It was interesting talking to the clients. That is the proper term they were to use for them, since they basically signed a contract agreeing to keep the medical studies confidential in order to get paid. Since they were not doctors, they did not want them to call them patients.

Some of what they did felt a bit unethical to him but they had been in business for a few years now, so who was he to question it. He was just a lowly ex-con now who got lucky enough to get this cushy job.

Not everyone who came through their doors was homeless. Some were just looking for some extra money on the side or a free way to get medications to help their conditions since they had no insurance.

Greg had definitely met some interesting characters since taking on this job. He even got hit on by a couple of older women who had come in. He had already had a few repeat clients, who had to check in weekly to see if there was progress with their conditions. Some talked his arm off, while others were very cautious of the new face there and hardly said a word to him. He could not blame them, it was their personal lives they had to share with a stranger. He knew he did not talk about where he had been the last few years. He hardly talked about himself at all to these people. He mostly talked about his current life, which was going quite well.

Nick had managed to squirrel is way onto the day shift at least temporarily, which allowed them to spend more time together. He missed working with D.B. Russell but the day shift was happy to have a new temporary leader, while the previous one was on a medical leave. They did not like their regular one that much and they all knew Nick. Nick was pretty happy with the change too, but mostly he liked spending more time with Greg. He sort of hoped he did a good enough job and would be made their permanent leader, since he did have more seniority overall.

Nick still typically got home an hour or two later than Greg but at least they could spend the night together. Nick was just having to get used to his new sleeping schedule.

Greg was waiting on his next client to come in. He was sitting with his back to the door, finishing up entering the previous client's results on the computer. Jenny, a phlebotomist, came in and handed Greg the blood work for the next client. She told the client to take a seat and Greg would be with him soon.

Greg turned around to face the client and felt a chill go down his spine when he saw the face. The bald-headed man had a slow growing grin on his face. "Well, well, well…if it isn't Good Time Greg," he grinned maliciously. "Fancy seeing you on the outside world and in such a nice little job you got here. Must still pay to be a former CSI, even if you did kill some guy."

Greg did not remember his name but he remembered his face. He would never forget any of their faces. He was kind of surprised he knew his name, but then again he was more high profile in prison due to his former job. They liked to brag to each other when they got the best of him. He did not realize they had a nickname for him either.

He felt slightly nauseous but would not let it show. He got over what they did to him. He had stood up to them after those first couple of years of hell. He was not going to let this guy intimidate him after all this time.

Greg looked down at his paperwork and saw he was on the Cicruliumise, which was a pain killer/muscle relaxer for back pain mostly. Lots of people came in with back pain and this was a drug that worked both angles of the pain.

Greg looked up at him with a steady gaze. "Lift a few too many loads of laundry there, Steve? Strain your back with all that hard labor?"

Steve glared at him. "I believe I strained it while I was ramming you're ass." He leaned back and smirked, satisfied that he had unsettled the other man.

Greg tightened his jaw, refusing to let this creep get to him. "I've moved past this," he kept telling himself inside his head. It was harder said than done when one of them sat across the room from you.

"Look, I'm not going to play this game right now. Tell me how you have been doing on the Cicruliumise. Any side effects?" Greg was pushing ahead with what he had to know.

"Man that word just rolls off your tongue. I can tell you are a nerd. But, no I don't get the crazy side effects that others get on C-Pak. I don't take more than the dosage. You know, I am on parole and trying to keep out of the slammer now, like you are."

Greg's mouth dropped open a moment. "Did you say C-pak?"

"Yeah, we can't say that complicated word. Some call it the Cirque drug, others call it C-pak. I like C-pak, since it reminds me of Z-pack," Steven smirked.

"And what kind of side effects are others having if they take too much?" Greg asked him. He already knew but he wanted to know if this guy knew.

"They get all crazy and start seeing things and forgetting things. I've heard some get violent and have killed or badly injured people. I'm not going back to prison due to some stupid drug. I just want my money and the pain gone, which it seems to do the trick for."

Greg did wonder how someone like him made parole, but then he never did tell who attacked him when it was discovered. Not all times were even known by the guards, since they often had too many other things to worry about other than another prisoner just being assaulted sexually. It happened too often for them to worry much about it unless it resulted in serious injuries.

"So you have not had any of these kinds of effects?" Greg asked him again. He wondered if FreChem was aware that it was their drug causing these people to go crazy on them. Of course, if people are taking more than the recommended dose, they could not control that. But since it was a test drug, it should be taken off the test market with the possible overdosing side effects.

"Look, I told you already, I'm not taking a chance on losing my freedom. I got out due to overcrowding and good behavior." Greg grunted in response. Steve leaned closer to him. "It's not my fault you and the other were pussies and didn't report it. My guess is you liked it, I mean you are gay, right?"

That was it. Greg could not deal with this evil in his office anymore. He stood up and leaned over the man. "Fuck you! You knew what you were doing was not wanted. You are right though, it's my fault for not reporting you and the others but what was really going to be done anyway. You were already in prison. I was just lucky I finally got moved away from you all and into the area I should have been in all along."

"That all being said, I am signing off on you getting your fucking money. Just get the fuck out of my office!" Greg bellowed. He had to hide his shaking hands behind his back. He did not need this guy to see that fault.

Steve just smiled. "See you next time, Good Time Greg!" He laughed as he walked out of the office.

Greg sat down in the chair and placed his shaking hands on his thighs. He closed his eyes and tried calming his nerves by deep breathing. It took a moment but he managed to calm down before Jenny came in with another client.

Greg turned to the older lady in the chair and told her he would be a moment. "Jenny, can you give me a few minutes extra before the next client comes in after Ms. Lincoln?" he asked the phlebotomist.

She nodded. "Sure, I don't think anyone is ready yet anyway. We only have a couple downstairs before we close, so she might be your last today anyway." She smiled at him but she could see he seemed bothered by something.

"Thank you," he told her as she left. He turned to Ms. Lincoln and told her he would need a minute to enter the last client's information. Ms. Lincoln was a regular. She came in two times a week. She was testing a new diabetic injection, so she needed to come in more often to check for side effects.

Greg's nerves were slightly frayed now, so he was glad the end of day was near. He finished up Steven Pikes chart and then assisted Ms. Lincoln. Once she was gone, he went back to Steven Pikes chart to see when he started with them. He saw that he had been on the C-pak for about four months now. He got out before Greg did. Greg shook his head, he could not believe it. This creep got out before him.

He could not wait to get home though and tell Nick about this C-pak drug. He could not believe this place was responsible for it. He wondered if they knew the side effects it was having. He looked around and decided since he was alone to pull up the client records of those taking that drug. He could not believe he saw no reports of the kinds of side effects it had been blamed for. Were they doctoring the records? Or did not one honestly report these side effects? Although he remembered Nick mentioning they had memory loss, so they did not know what they had done. Perhaps that is why it was never reported. Deep down though he did not believe it. Something was fishy. He would talk it out with Nick and see what he said.

He walked in their door, knowing Nick was not home yet since his SUV was not in the driveway. He was not in the best of moods. He would often cook dinner if he was first home but today he was in no mood to cook. He kept thinking about everything that happened that afternoon with Steve Pikes. He started feeling himself fall into the depression cycle and he did not think any of his usual things would work right now. He kept thinking of how he called him "Good Time Greg." He wondered how many called him that. He hated himself for not fighting harder in those early days but when it came down to it, he was always outnumbered. He never really had anyone on his side until he switched areas, so those first couple of years were hell. He wished he knew the defensive moves then like he did now. Even then, he knew it would not have always worked. Some of those guys were just huge and he had no chance.

He was moping on the sofa when Nick walked in. He was so deep in thought he did not even hear him come in.

Nick saw Greg sitting on the sofa, leaning over with his face in his hands. He did not smell food cooking. Greg did not even seem to notice he walked in. He knew something was wrong.

"Greg? Are you okay?" Nick asked him as he slowly came over to the sofa. He took a seat next to him when he suddenly looked up, eyes wide.

"Oh sorry. I didn't even hear you walk in. I was just thinking about things that happened at work today," he told him, vaguely.

"What kind of things? You look a little upset." Nick put his hand on his back. He felt Greg shiver a moment which was unusual. He worried more.

"Something strange is going on at my workplace. That C-pak drug…well it comes from my place. Although the real name is Cicruliumise. Apparently most call it Circue but others call it this C-pak. It's for pain and muscle relaxer," Greg told him.

"What? Really? How did you find out about this?" Nick asked him. Greg was not sure he wanted to bring up exactly how it came about. One thing at a time, he wanted to address.

"One of the clients came in and was on this drug. I've seen it before but this guy told me he makes sure he does not overdose on it, since it has freaky side effects. He said they call it C-pak because the real name is too hard to say and C-pak reminds him of the Z-Pack antibiotic."

"So he knows people who have taken too much of this C-pak and had these violent side effects?" Nick asked, wanting to be clear on it. Greg felt a headache coming on. "Yes, he said he had seen some people get that way and forget everything."

"Did you ask anyone else about it?" Nick was full on investigator mode. Greg rubbed his eyes. "I looked into the computer files when no one was around and looked up clients who were taking this drug to see the reported side effects. I didn't see it reported at all. I guess it's possible if memory loss is a side effect of an overdose of it."

"You know I'm going to have to find out more about this. I mean people have died because of people overdosing on this drug," Nick told him. Greg looked regretful. "And you know they will know it was me and I will probably get fired. I don't think the next job will come along as easily as this one did."

"So you're okay with people dying, as long as you can keep your job?" the Texan asked, incredulously. Greg leaned back and started rubbing his forehead. "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying this was not something I planned on happening. I didn't plan on this all happening this afternoon. I'm just a little bit stressed, okay?"

Nick finally took a good look at him and could see his hands were slightly shaking. He seemed rather down too. He guessed he did realize what this all meant. He also realized Greg was right in that he might lose this job due to this investigation he was going to have to pursue. He forgot Greg's confidence was not always as high as he thought it should be.

"I'm sorry. We can talk more about this later. How about some dinner? I can order pizza for us," Nick suggested. Greg did not want to tell him he really had no appetite but maybe once it came he would be better off. "Sure."

Greg said he was going to take his shower early, before the pizza came. Nick thought it was odd, but figured maybe it might make him feel better. Nick did not know he was having memories of his time in prison and his experience with Steven Pikes and his buddies.

Greg let the hot water run over his body. He did not know why he was letting Steven Pikes get to him but seeing him jarred something. He was glad he was having a session with Dr. Muller tomorrow afternoon. He was going to need it. He just hoped he could get through the work day without Nick barging in and ruining his job for him.

He came back downstairs, dressed in a t-shirt and PJ bottoms. He felt like he would be going to bed early tonight. The pizza had just arrived and Nick had the table already set. Greg did gain a little bit of an appetite after the shower.

Nick decided to keep quiet and let him eat before telling him what he had been thinking was the best way to go about the C-pak discovery. He waited until he had at least two pieces down before bringing it up. "So I've been thinking about the best way to approach this. I'm going to Ecklie tomorrow to let him know about his discovery. I know we will have to have a search warrant to see the records from this FreChem. It might be hard to get though, but if we can find out one of their patients went on to kill someone during their doped outrage, we got a way to at least have them pull it from being given out."

Greg sighed. "If you are involved in this, they will know I was the one who provided the information. I will have broken the contract I signed with them and they will be able to fire me."

"Yeah, but this is about people killing other people. It's more than just about your job, Greg. This is bigger than you," Nick said a little too loudly.

Greg shoved his chair back and got up. "You know what, you are right. You do what you have to do and to hell with my life. I'm going to bed." He stormed off upstairs to the bedroom.

Nick sat back, trying to cool his own anger. He could not believe he was being so selfish. People's lives were in danger and all he cared about what losing his job. Perhaps he would wake up with a clearer head and see things Nick's way. He decided to stay downstairs for a while, hoping by the time he went to bed, Greg was sound asleep. Then he could deal with him in the morning.

Greg lay on the bed with this eyes closed. He was trying to calm his nerves. His hands were shaking badly. His nerves were shot after the argument with Nick. He knew he was being selfish but he really did not think another job that great would ever come his way again. It was a fluke and now he was about to lose it. Deep down he knew that was not the root problem though. The root problem was what happened in prison and his stonewall was cracking.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N- Trying to update more now. Almost completed writing it but not typing it out. I still like to write by hand for some reason. I appreciate those that have been reviewing. Thank you!_

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Nick was startled awake by a noise. He jumped up from the sofa. He had fallen asleep on it. He heard it again and knew it was Greg. He ran upstairs and saw Greg sitting up in bed, his arms wrapped around himself. He was rocking a little back and forth. He had never seen him like this before, seeming so shaken from a nightmare. "Greg?" he said slowly as he approached him the same way.

Greg looked up at him, his eyes haunted. "I'm sorry. I should have told you." Nick was not sure what he was talking about. "Tell me what, Greg?" he sat on the bed, close to him. "Is there something else you need to tell me?"

"I don't know why I let him get to me. I was over it, all of it. I moved on. I had to move on," he mumbled. Nick still was not sure what he was talking about and was getting more concerned. This was one of those waves that Greg warned him about but he had not yet encountered.

"Who are you talking about Greg?" Nick asked him. Greg had stopped his rocking and now just sat there with his eyes closed. "A client I saw today, the one who told me about the C-pak."

Nick wondered what this client could have told Greg to make him so upset and trigger just a nightmare. "I'm still not following."

Greg sighed heavily, never opening his eyes. "He was an ex-con, like me. I knew him and he knew me." It was starting to make a little more sense to Nick but he felt like he was still missing something.

"So you met in prison, so what?" Greg opened his eyes and glared at Nick with pain. "He made me his bitch, Nick. He fucked me and he made sure I remembered that he remembered me!"

Nick sucked in air and now could see the pain and suffering in his loved one's eyes. His missed it before because he was so obsessed with finding out about the C-pak but now he knew why Greg had lashed out.

"So he's the one who also told you about the C-pak?" Greg's glare continued. "Yes, that is his test drug. But before he told me about that, he made sure he told me their nickname for me 'Good Time Greg.' Always there for a good fuck until he got smart enough to fight back."

The look on Greg's face kind of scared Nick. He looked sad and yet there was a growing anger behind his glare. He could almost feel the intensity of it. This was definitely a side he never saw before. "What did you do to him?"

"Today? I told him to get the fuck out of my office and if I ever saw his fucking face again, I'd show him how much I changed." His nostrils flared as he gritted his teeth. Nick had no idea there was this anger deep inside him.

"Do you need your space?" Nick asked him, as he backed up on the bed. Greg closed his eyes and shook his head. He ran his hand through his hair. "Shit…yes, give me a few minutes."

Greg realized he let the pent up anger start to come out and must have freaked out Nick some. He knew he was going to have to work off some of this negative energy now with some Tai Chi or something.

Nick was starting to leave when Greg spoke up. "Wait, stop. You can stay here. I'm going to go downstairs and do some tai chi or jog or something. I need to calm myself down." He looked up and saw Nick staring at him with worry. "Look, I'll be okay once I start doing something. I just…this is what I do now. Okay?"

Nick just nodded and watched him as he stood up and grabbed his cell phone. Nick watched him leave the room and head downstairs. He did not follow him. He heard him open the patio door and then shut it. He hoped he was just going to do some of his tai chi on the patio again. He would let him have his space and then maybe they could talk.

Nick could not really sleep now after what Greg told him. As much as he wanted to think Greg only got beat up a few times in prison, it was becoming more apparent that was the least of what happened to him. Nick hated the world at that moment. He hated that Greg ever had to even go to prison. That he had to take the fall for something what was self-defense. He hated seeing how haunted his eyes looked anytime he woke from one of those horrible nightmares. He knew now that they all had to be from the worst of times in prison. It also amazed him that much more how Greg changed his perspective and fought to not take that shit anymore in the last few years of his sentence. There was strength within him and perhaps it was fueled by that anger he had for what was done to him.

Whatever it was, Nick was glad Greg managed to bring himself back to normal as he could be, after a while. He could be patient with him in these times. He knew he had to be now. He had no right to judge him after what he went through.

Greg was standing on the patio, in the dark, trying to do tai chi moves but it was not working. He could not calm down. He started pacing back and forth. All that he had boxed up in the back of his mind had broken free and it was threatening to drown him in emotions. He was so frustrated he grabbed a candleholder on the patio table and smashed it on the ground. What he would give to have a punching bag right now to punch out his fury and anxiety.

Nick heard the sound of something breaking and ran downstairs. He opened the patio door and saw Greg pacing like a mad dog. Greg heard him come out and stopped a moment. He looked down at the now shattered candleholder and just started crying. "I'm sorry. I just…I just don't know what's wrong with me," he said quietly as he shook his head. Nick looked down and saw the broken pieces of glass. He carefully walked around them and came to stand in front of Greg.

"Look at me," he said as he lifted the tear stained face of the younger man. When Greg could not meet his eyes, he just took him into his arms instead and hugged him tightly. Greg eventually wrapped his arms around Nick and held onto him. Nick could feel the slight tremble in his body as he still cried. He was not sure why this particular incident at work was the one to break him but it definitely did.

He held onto him until he felt the trembling and sobbing stop. He released him a little. "Let's go inside. I can clean up the broken glass on the patio later." Greg let himself be led inside by Nick. They sat down on the sofa. Nick waited patiently for Greg to make the first move. Greg finally made eye contact with him. "I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me."

Nick rubbed his back in a soothing manner. "You told me there might be times that things overwhelm you. I guess I witnessed it tonight." Greg looked down. "Yeah I guess so."

"Was it what they guy said to you or was it a combination of that and the possible investigation that will have to be done into your workplace?" Nick asked him. Greg started picking at his fingernails. "I guess both."

Nick pondered asking him more about this scum who violated him in prison. He decided against it. "I can hold off a day on the investigation of you want me to. Maybe you can find out more on your own before I go any further, if that would make you feel any better."

"Yeah, yes, maybe that would. I can probably snoop around a little more and maybe try asking some questions," he told him. He was starting to feel a little better.

"You were a CSI after all, you know how to investigate things," Nick reminded him. "Yes, that feels like a lifetime ago now," he replied somberly.

"I know." Nick looked at the time and it was already after two am in the morning. "Do you think you can maybe get some sleep now? I know I'm tired and it's only a few hours until we have to get up."

Greg looked at him again with a melancholy gaze. "I'll try." Nick gave him a small smile and held out his hand. "Come on." Greg followed him upstairs to their bed.

Morning alarm came quickly. Greg did not have much motivation to go to work. He was tempted to call in but he knew he probably should try to get more information for Nick on the C-pak drug. Nick could see he was still not back to normal. He felt bad about putting so much pressure on him with this new discovery about the C-pak. But for all he knew, Greg's own life could be in danger if one of those clients came into his workplace, overdosed on that drug. Who knows what they could end up doing. It was something that needed to be dealt with and soon.

"I'm going to let Ecklie know I might have a lead on the drug but I won't say anything to him until we talk again tonight. You have to see if you can find something that will give us a reason for a search warrant. Do you think you can do that?" Nick asked him as he buttoned up his shirt.

Greg was pulling on a green t-shirt. "Yes, I will try." He really was not looking forward to trying to snoop around.

As they were walking out the door, Nick stopped Greg. "Hey, tell me if you don't want to do this. I don't want you doing anything you are uncomfortable with." Greg's eyes still held sadness in them this morning.

"I said I will try and I will but I am not making any promises. It's hard enough to drag my ass into work today," he told him truthfully. Nick placed his hands on his face and gave him a big kiss.

"I know. If only it was the weekend, we could have stayed home but that is not the case. We still got a couple more days to go. I love you, you know that." Greg nodded. He did know that. "I love you too. I just want this all to be over."

"I know and hopefully we can get this done with no damage to your career." Greg frowned, not believing he would come through unscathed.

"We better go," he said as he walked away and towards his silver Honda. Nick knew he was still worried about his job and he also knew there was a good chance he would lose it for one reason or another. He just hoped another great job would be around the corner for him if that was the case.

Greg got to work and put on his lab coat. He decided to talk to Kenny and ask him about the Cicruliumise drug. He admitted it was easier to call it C-pak.

They were at the coffee machine, getting their morning joe, when Greg decided to ask about it. "Hey Kenny, so I had a client yesterday call Cicruliumise, C-pak. Have you heard about that on the news? It can't be the same stuff, can it?"

Kenny looked up at him, slightly alarmed. "C-Pak? No I have not heard it ever called that. I don't watch much news either. What's the story?" Greg filled him in on the couple of crazed overdosed C-pakers killing others in their drug induced rage.

Kenny laughed nervously. "Wow, no I think it has to be something else. We have a lot of people on Cicruliumise and I don't recall any saying they had violent rages on it."

"Yeah, but it also causes memory loss, according to the police, so maybe they do not remember their violent tendencies," Greg prodded more.

Kenny became a little more serious, suddenly. "FreChem is a reputable place and would pull any drug that had a side effect like that. I think your client is just trying to cause trouble for us." Greg supposed that was possible but how was Steve Pikes to know that Greg knew anything about this C-pak drug issues. No, something was up and perhaps Kenny knew and did not want to say. After all, he had been with the company since FreChem existed.

"It was just something I was thinking about, but you are probably right," Greg said to him, acting like he was going to drop it. But after seeing Kenny get defensive about it, he was more curious. The investigator side of him was intrigued. Maybe he would snoop around the place when he had free time today.

After coffee, they went to their separate offices. Kenny made a call right away once he was inside his office. "Hey, Mike, It's Kenny. Our new guy, Sanders, is snooping around about Cicruliumise. He knows about it being called C-pak. I tried to tell him we would pull something like that from the testing if we had positive results of that but I don't think he is buying it. He is a former CSI, after all."

Mike Sullivan, the FreChem manager, frowned on his end of the phone. "I told Tom I didn't like the idea of him working over here. But he thought he would be a great fit, only Tom does not know what really goes on over here. I'll keep my eye on him and advise security to do the same. Thanks for letting me know."

Mike Sullivan hung up the phone and went to his computer. He pulled up the user activity for Greg Sanders. He saw that he had been going through the files of those who had been given Cicruliumise to test. This did not make him happy. If the police came snooping around there to see about the C-pak, they might discover even worse testing going on. But no, he thought. They could never find the secret lab down below the building. The entryway was hidden and yet it still worried him.

He pulled up the camera logs and pulled up office 205. He saw Greg Sanders sitting in at his desk, looking at some test results. He was going to keep track of him today and see where he went. If he had to take care of him he would. He knew he was just out of prison and suffered from PTSD. He could use that to his advantage if needed. He would never let anyone find out what took place in the secret lab. Too much critical work was done there and it was his money maker. FreChem did not make any money, if anything they spent more than they made but the deals made in the secret lab provided plenty to keep the upstairs working. He was good at doctoring the books to make FreChem look successful.

He saw a client enter Greg Sanders office. At least he would be kept busy for a few hours seeing clients. He would think about a plan if things needed to be done in that time frame. He was good at thinking fast on his feet.

Greg decided he was going to cut his lunch short and take a walk around the building. He did not know he was being watched as he walked around. He went downstairs to the clinic and went down the hall, towards the employee bathrooms. He was feeling a little edgy and unsure if he should be doing this. He went into the men's restroom and splashed some water on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror and thought that he looked tired. He was. He was still not completely over the breakdown he had the night before. His mind had let some of the demons out and it was affecting him.

He really wanted to just go home at this time. He took a paper towel and dried his face off. He went to toss it into the trash can and missed. He groaned and leaned over to pick it up off the floor. He put his hand against the tile wall for leverage. Suddenly the wall started moving. He stepped back, in shock and watched as a hidden door emerged and opened up. He looked around and no one else was in the bathroom with him. He saw stairs leading down. There was dim lighting in the stairway. He chewed his lip, pondering going down but now his inner investigator knew he had to go. He walked down the stairs slowly, always looking behind him. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard the secret door close. A panic flared inside him. He started going for his phone. He had to call Nick. He had no signal down here. He decided to finally walk further and see what was down here. He stepped around a corner and his mouth dropped open. He saw what looked like a medical ward. Several hospital beds, with people hooked up to machines. They all seemed unconscious. He could hear beeping from the machines and a soft music playing in the background.

He saw a woman in the bed closest to him. He stepped towards the bed she was in. She looked like she was sleeping but she had IV's and other machines hooked up to her. She was about in her 40's and had long dark hair. He was about to reach out and touch her hand when he heard a noise behind him. Before he could completely turn around, he was knocked out and everything turned black.


	17. Chapter 17

The first thing that he felt was his splitting head. He slowly opened his eyes and did not recognize his surroundings. Briefly he thought he was in prison again. He tried to move his arms and realized he could not. He opened his eyes wider and saw he was on one of those hospital beds, hands and feet bound to the bed. He looked around and saw others in beds around him, motionless, machines seemingly keeping them alive. Was he going to end up this way? His hands were already shaking with anxiety. He heard voices and tried to see where they were coming from but they were behind him. He knew it was futile but he decided to scream for help.

A man came into view, one he had not seen before. He was older, with blonde hair and blue eyes. "It's no use screaming for help. No one can hear you down here," the man said with a European accent. He had on a white lab coat and gloves.

Another person came behind him and this face Greg recognized. It was the FreChem manager, Mike Sullivan. "What do you want from me? What are you doing to these people down here?" Greg asked rapidly. He needed to know something before he lost his mind.

"It's unfortunate you had to be so nosey and lucky to stumble across our secret lab. You will not become one of those who decided to give their lives to science experimentation," the man with the accent said to him.

"I did not decide to give my body to science. My boyfriend is a CSI, he already knows about the C-pak drug being produced here. He will be looking for me and discover your little lab here in no time flat," Greg told them, glad Nick did know about it now.

"Oh, I am afraid he will be distraught over hearing about your horrific death instead of worrying about us here," Mike Sullivan told him. Greg narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?" Mike Sullivan walked around to the other side of his bed, so he had someone standing over him on each side.

"It means that I have arranged for you to seemingly have a horrible car accident and your car burst into flames, burning you alive. You see I used your cell phone and texted him a cryptic message. I mean you do suffer from PTSD and did try to kill yourself in Prison." He saw Greg's surprised face. "Yes, I know a lot about you now, since Kenny told me you were asking about C-pak. Luckily, even if the police came to us about that, we will simply stop giving it out. As long as they do not search the premises here, that is my main concern. No one can know about what we do down here. We do some very important studies down here for human kind," Sullivan told him.

"Why are all these people unconscious? What have you done to them?" Greg asked, knowing he was bound to become the next one in this state.

"They are all currently in comas. See we have developed a drug that can put a person in a coma safely and then we are able to take them out of it just as safely with a counter drug. Everybody here has certain conditions. When we have a drug ready to test, we wake them from their comas and test the drug."

Greg lifted his head some. He counted about 15 people down here. "These are all homeless people…probably missing persons, right?" he asked.

"Yes, of course they are. We can't simply take people who others would miss. Your case, we had to come up with a story, since we could not very well have let you seen down here and go and tell the cop boyfriend. Luckily, one of our patients recently departed this earth. Their body is being sacrificed in your car, so when they find your burned up car, there is a body," Mike smiled, proud of his plan.

"You're sick. What do you plan to do with me?" Greg asked him, scared to death now.

"Oh, well since you seem to be a mostly healthy subject, except for emotional issues, you will be great to test some of our military grade drugs on," the accented man said to him. Greg turned to him. "Who the hell are you?"

The man smiled. "I am Dr. Wilenstein. I am the genius behind this program and drugs. See we assist governments, many foreign, with coming up with drugs to interrogate prisoners. These are our military grade drugs. We like to call them torture drugs," he grinned maliciously. Greg felt all the blood drain out of his face at the thought. "No, no you can't do this to me."

"Oh but we can and we will. I do see that you seem to have a nerves issue already. I've noticed your hands shaking as we talk. I do believe I have something that I could test on you. It will be interesting to see how bad your nerves become after taking this drug," Dr. Wilenstein told him.

"No, you can't do this to me," he started to cry. He could not believe this was happening. Maybe it was some kind of different nightmare he was suffering from.

"There is no use in crying. You are our experimental body now," Dr. Wilenstein told him. He left a moment, so Greg just looked at Mike Sullivan.

"Is Thomas Gaylor part of this craziness?" he asked him. Mike Sullivan shook his head. "No, he has no idea that this even exists down here. I was the one who picked out this building, knowing it had this secret basement. It was perfect. It was just a matter of hiding the entry way. I still can't believe you somehow put your hand on the right tile to open the door. I guess you were fated for this."

Greg felt any hope he had disappear with that statement. Perhaps his life was doomed, with everything that had happened already in the past, he now believed it had to be true.

Dr. Wilenstein came back with an intravenous drip bag and needle. "What is that?" Greg asked, scared of what type of torture he was about to go through.

"Oh this? Right now you will become like the rest of them here. I will be placing you in a medical coma until the new drug is ready to be tested on you. Next time you wake up, that's when you can be scared," the doctor smiled maliciously.

Mike Sullivan helped hold Greg's arm steady as Dr. Wilenstein put the needle in the crook of his arm. "Soon you will be fast asleep until we pull you out of the coma. Sweet dreams."

Greg already started to feel sleepy. Within a minute he was in the dark again.

Dr. Wilenstein turned to Mike Sullivan after Greg was out. "Are you sure the cops will not come sniffing around here?"

"His car should be taken care of any minute now. The text was sent before I came down here. His boyfriend will be grieving and not even think about this place for some time, if at all. We are in the clear. For all the world will know, Greg Sanders killed himself and burned with his car."

Nick had received an ominous text from Greg and when he tried calling him, his phone seemed to be turned off. The text had read, "I was a fool to think I could do all this. I can't. I can't be the man you need. I'm sorry." He was not sure if what happened the day before caused all this or something happened at work to make him feel this way. He just knew he was worried when he could not reach him. He decided to call his workplace to see if he was still there.

"Oh, he left abruptly a while ago," was what the receptionist had told him. Nick paced at the office, wondering where Greg was. He was worried now. He had tried calling home, to see if he went there but again no answer.

He left work a half hour early to go home. He prayed Greg was at home, maybe doing some tai chi or swimming in the pool to work off whatever mood he was in. His car was not there when he got home. He walked in and hoped for some sign but nothing. All he could do was wait.

It was a few hours later that he got the phone call. "Nick, its D.B. I really don't want to tell you this over the phone but we were called onto the scene of a car fire off Red Rock Canyon road. The car drove off the side of the road into the canyon and exploded. The license plate had flown off during the explosion. The car was registered to Greg Sanders. This was also confirmed by the VIN Number."

Nick had been standing but suddenly felt weak kneed and sat down. "Did they find a body?" He asked with a shaky voice. "I'm sorry Nick, they did. It was burned beyond recognition. Of course, we will see if there is anything to get the identity confirmed but I'm sorry Nick." D.B. heard silence on the other end. "We don't anticipate there being foul play. I heard you got a text from him earlier today."

"Yes, I did. But he was supposed to have a session with Dr. Muller today. Dr. Muller would have helped him. I don't believe he would just do this. No, he's not dead. I won't believe it." Nick said, even as tears came to his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Nick. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know." D.B. Russell told him.

"You can tell me that was not Greg in that car," Nick said to him over the phone. "You know we have to wait on results and it can take a few days."

"I know. I'll talk to you later." Nick hung up. He could not deal with the news. It just could not be. Why would Greg take his life suddenly and in that way? Greg was depressed but he showed no signs of wanting to kill himself.

Nick stood up and walked over to the bookcase, where a picture they had taken together only two weeks ago sat in a frame. Greg was smiling brightly in the photo. He was happy at that time. He had been fairly happy until yesterday. He did not see how yesterday's events would suddenly cause him to want to die.

He picked up the picture and looked at Greg. "Why? I don't understand how you could leave me like this?" He hugged the photo to his chest and cried. He sat there for a few minutes like that before deciding he was not letting go that easily.

He put the picture back and grabbed his keys on the way out the door. He wanted to see the car, the scene of the crime. He was not going to believe it until he had definite proof.

He was to the LVPD crime lab within 15 minutes. D.B. Russell saw him walk in and stopped him in his tracks. "Nick, I know this is hard for you but you cannot work this case." Nick glared at him. "I don't want to work the case, I just want to see the evidence. Is the car here already?"

His former supervisor sighed. "Yes, it just got here. You have to let my guys work this. You can stand by but do not interfere." Nick frowned. "I won't interfere. I just want to see it."

Russell stepped aside to let Nick go to the lab garage to see the car. Nick walked in and saw the charred mess that was Greg's silver Honda Civic. He walked around and saw just how bad it was. He came around the front and saw Morgan Brody, a newer CSI who was Ecklie's daughter. He had worked with her before he changed shifts.

"Nick, I am so sorry. I never met him but he sounded like a great guy," she said to him with sad eyes. He looked at the petite blonde and nodded. "He was a great guy. You would have liked him."

Nick could not look at the burnt out car anymore. He had to leave the garage and ran into Henry. Henry looked upset. "Nick, I can't believe he's gone. I know he was scared to see us again but I understood and hoped he would come around and let us see him again. Now we will never have that chance."

Nick's heart was heavy as he looked at Henry. "I tried to get him to let you all visit but he was not ready yet. He still had a lot to work through, more than I imagined, I guess."

"If you need anything, let me know," Henry offered. And that was how the rest of the evening went for Nick as he made his way through the lab. People coming up to him and saying how sorry they were. Many were like Henry and had known Greg back in the day. It made it even harder for Nick.

Nick finally went home, after talking with Doc Robbins and getting his promise that he would tell him as soon as the results came back on the body remains. Nick needed that final closure before giving up.

The next day, instead of preparing for Greg's funeral services, Nick headed over to his workplace FreChem. He wanted to know if anyone saw him acting weird or if something happened at work that might have triggered his sudden change of life.

When he got there, the company manager came to see him. Mike Sullivan introduced himself to Nick Stokes. "I am so sorry for your loss. He was really a great asset to us here."

"Can I talk to his co-workers to see if they noticed anything different about him yesterday? I just don't understand why this suddenly happened." Nick told him.

"Sure, you can talk to Kenny, that's who he works with the most and then Jenny, she brings in his clients," Mr. Sullivan offered. He was not worried about his two loyal employees saying anything wrong. Kenny was an excellent liar and Jenny had no clue what happened.

Mr. Sullivan took Nick to talk to Kenny. "Kenny, did Greg mention anything about the C-pak drug to you yesterday?" was one of the questions Nick asked that he seemed to get a delayed response on. "Uh, he did. He mentioned something about some clients saying we were giving it to them here and that people who od on it were killing people. I don't watch the news, so I didn't know what he was talking about. I've never heard our clients say anything about it."

Nick decided to ask Mr. Sullivan the same thing after he was done with Kenny. "If this is true, that this drug causes these kinds of reactions we have not heard about it. However, we will pull it from our testing just in case it is true. We don't want people taking something that cause them to kill others. That's absolutely horrible. We are just trying to help people here. That is our purpose and hopefully our tests will end up being FDA approved and these medicines will be available for all the public to purchase."

"How many medicines have you had approved by FDA since you've been open?" Nick asked since he did not get a good vibe from this guy.

"We've had five approved by FDA. Mind you, it takes years of studies before they approve stuff. It has to have consistent results for at least a year with numerous patients before they approve it. It's a timely process."

"Well thanks for talking with me. I appreciate you giving Greg a job here. He enjoyed it for the most part," Nick told him.

"We will miss his presence here," Mr. Sullivan told him. He said goodbye to Nick and then waited a few minutes after he was gone.

He went into the Men's Restroom and put the out of order sign on the outside door. He then opened the secret door and went down to the basement. He walked over to where Greg Sanders laid in one of the hospital beds, in a coma.

"He thinks you are dead, just like I thought. You are now officially ours to use for testing. Too bad we will be testing the military grade drugs on you. You were a good asset to us until you got too nosey." He smiled before walking to look in on another test subject.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N- Long delay but doesn't seem like much interest in this story anyway. I'll still finish it up. Maybe there will be some late comers to it. Anyway, review if you like. Here is some more for you._

* * *

Dr. Wilenstein stood over his subject, waiting for him to wake up. He was eager to test this new drug on him. The previous subject died when they gave too much of it to him. He had gone back to the lab and tweaked the serum, making it a little less potent. If this drug worked the way planned, it could be sold to foreign governments, looking for new ways to torture prisoners without visible effects.

His subject began to open his eyes. He smiled down at him. "I'm glad to see you back from the darkness." He saw the frightened eyes looking back up at him. He had become use to this reaction. Once they signed their lives over to science, they did not realize what exactly that meant. Granted his current subject signed no agreement. He just happened to discover their secret and needed to be kept silent. He was the one who convinced Mike Sullivan to keep him alive and use him as a new subject.

"I'm going to give you a few minutes to adjust to being awake again before I test this new and improved serum on you," he told his subject. He walked away to check on another test subject and now he was reacting to their new dose.

Greg looked up at the white tiled ceiling with florescent lights shining down in his eyes. He still felt groggy but he still tried to move his hands and feet. He was still belted down to the bed. Dr. Frankenstein, as he would prefer to refer to him as, was a few beds over checking on another subject. He heard some mumbling coming from the subject but nothing clear. He wondered what he had been used for.

He did not bother trying to scream, because he was sure those already down there had already tried once they found out what was really being done to them. He thought about Nick and if he truly thought he was dead. Nick had to be devastated. But if he knew Nick well enough, he knew he would not give up so easily. If they found the body, they would try to see if they could identify it. He knew that could take some time though. Would he live that long? He was not even sure Nick would still look for him at this place. What if the body was burned so badly there was nothing to identify it? That had happened. Then he would be dead forever, seeing as he had no chance of getting out of this place without some outside help.

He looked at what was hooked up to him. They really thought of everything. An IV for nutrients and a catheter for human waste were attached to him. It was almost like a regular hospital set up, except for the 15 or so other beds and patients in the same room as him. It really did remind him of Dr. Frankenstein's lab with the lighting and the surroundings.

Dr. Frankenstein himself came back to him. He noticed he had an assistant with him. He never noticed this other guy before. Maybe he just came around when procedures were about to be done. That very thought made him all the more scared. "How long have I been out?" Greg asked him.

"You seem fairly alert now. That is good. You have been out for a week." Dr. Frankenstein's accent was getting all the more annoying. Greg was shocked. A week had passed by already. "Yes, no one has come looking for you. Your tragic car crash/suicide was all over the news." Greg just glared at him. "I see you have no response; that is smart. It would not matter anyway. We would proceed as planned."

He held up a needle and tapped the tip of it. "Today, we will see if my updated nerve serum has more positive results."

"What do you mean, nerve serum?" Greg finally asked. He had to know what he might be dealing with any moment.

"Ah yes, I suppose you would like to know what you are about to experience. This here will attack your sensory nerves, ultimately creating pain all over for you. The goal is for it to create so much pain, that the prisoner is willing to confess to make it stop. Although there is not anything to make it stop right now, it just needs to wear out of your system."

Greg felt sick. He had been in a lot of pain before, he was pretty good at handling pain lately but this sounded terrifying. "I am currently testing dosage sizes. Last subject I tested this on died, unfortunately. I have since changed it some and hopefully death will not be the result." Greg was starting to think that maybe the first guy got off lucky by it killing him. The funny thing is the idea of death did not scare him as much as the idea of just suffering in pain. He knew emotionally he was very unstable right now. He would crack easily now and really did not want to be crying all the time but it was bound to happen.

"My assistant, Josef will be placing a bite piece in your mouth, so if the pain is so bad, you will not bite your tongue or grit your teeth." Greg looked the doctor and said dryly. "I suppose I have no alternate drug option today?"

Dr. Wilenstein smirked. "Oh no, I am afraid not. You do not have any conditions that my other medications would work on. You are best for this test. Now, unless you want to possibly bite your tongue off, I suggest you let Josef here put in the mouthpiece."

Greg's hands were already shaking. He could only imagine what something that attacked his nervous system would do. He glared at Josef as he placed the mouthpiece into his mouth. Josef then held down Greg's arm to steady it for the doctor to inject the serum. Greg watched as the needle's contents were put into his arm.

"Now this might take a minute or two before the effects are felt. We will remain here to see what kind of effects it has on you."

Greg braced himself for whatever was to come. It was a few minutes before he felt a shooting pain go through his whole body. Then suddenly his whole body jerked with pain. The sudden overwhelming nerve attack caused him to start going into violent convulsions. Dr. Wilenstein quickly advised Josef to hold him still as possible. He went over to a tray and pulled out another syringe. He readied it and put it into Greg's arm. The convulsions started to subside. Greg had lost consciousness. Dr. Wilenstein frowned.

"This dosage is still too much. I will have to adjust it for next time. Josef, keep an eye on him and let me know if his vitals turn bad. Right now he is stable. And let me know when he regains consciousness. I will want to try to talk to him. We will then give him a day of recovery before trying again with a smaller dose." The doctor then went into an office on the far side of the room. He called upstairs to Mike Sullivan.

"Mr. Sullivan, the first test did not go so well. He had a seizure. I gave him some Levetiracetam to ease the seizure. He is currently unconscious. I advised Josef to keep an eye on his vitals and notify me when he regains consciousness. We will then have to give him 24 hours before I can try a smaller dosage on him again," the doctor told him.

"I think you need to go with a much lower dosage and then we can try upping it again if the lower one shows results," Mr. Sullivan told him. "Yes, that is the plan."

"At least he didn't die like the last one, that is a plus," Mr. Sullivan said. "I look forward to the future testing. Let me know how it goes." Mike Sullivan hung up the secret cell phone and put it in his locked drawer. He had the news on in his office and saw a report that a funeral was being arranged for Demetrius James' killer. Greg Sanders death had been accepted and Nick Stokes had not been back to do any further questioning. He was proud of himself.

Nick sat staring at the blank TV screen. It still made no sense to him that Greg would kill himself at this time. He knew he was upset that he might end up losing his job but there could be worse things. He could be back in prison and that would not happen.

He got up and started pacing. "Damn, I wish those reports would come in. I need to know for sure." He stopped and looked at the photo of him with Greg again. "I miss you so much. This should have never happened."

His work had fallen to the side and he had become obsessed with getting more answers to Greg's suicide. He examined the car himself after they had released it. He found nothing to convince him it was Greg in the car. He went to the scene and examined the skid marks. Something in those did not feel right to him but everyone told him he was trying to see what was not there. Ecklie finally made him take a leave for a couple of days.

He hated being away from work. He needed something to occupy his mind. Being home made it worse. Seeing his things around the house, he had settled in pretty well. Since Greg was making good money, he had bought new clothes for himself and a few things to add his touch to the house. Nick had cleared a bookshelf for him for his scientific books and journals. He liked to read that stuff still, which kind of amazed Nick.

His cell phone rang and he picked it up. "Stokes here," he answered. He saw it was Russell and knew it had to be the results had come in from the autopsy and the bone marrow they got from the body.

"Nick, I think you need to come down to the lab. The results are about to come in," he was told. Nick agreed to come in immediately. He thanked Russell for letting him be there when the results came in.

He walked into the lab 20 minutes later and went straight to Russell's office. "Are the results in?" He asked as he saw Russell looking over some paperwork.

"Sit down, Nick," Russell told him. "I rather stand if you don't mind," Nick replied.

"Fine, the results are in. The bone marrow was not a match to Greg. It instead matched a missing person, Ralph Cuello. It also appears the person was dead before even being burned." Russell took off his glasses and pushed the folder of results over to Nick.

Nick's eyes were huge in shock. He looked at the paperwork and saw the same confirmation. "Greg's alive…somewhere out there." He looked at Russell.

"Who do you think would do this, Nick?" Russell asked him. Nick knew immediately. "FreChem, if they found out he was snooping around and found out about the C-pak. Maybe he found something even more incriminating and they had to put a stop to it. But if they didn't kill him, what did they do to him?" Nick wondered now.

"I think it is time you go back to FreChem and ask some more questions. We can't ask a judge for a search warrant yet, but perhaps if you get someone to talk about seeing Greg that day, or find anything else out, we can persuade a judge to get us one," Russell told him.

"I'm on it. Thanks for supporting me in this Russell. I knew he wouldn't kill himself. I just worry now what is going on with him."

FreChem was closed, since it was late at night. Nick was going to have to wait until the next morning to go there and question the employees again. This time he was going to bring an officer with him as a bit more intimidation.

It was early the next morning and Dr. Wilenstein was down checking on Greg. Greg had regained consciousness the night before. He had not remembered much of what happened. He did have some pain but nothing too bad.

Greg saw the wicked doctor approach him again. Josef was not far behind. He feared they would be administering a new dose to him soon.

"So Mr. Sanders, how do you feel today? Do you still have pain?" Greg just glared at the doctor. "You know if you do not let me know I will proceed with the next test dosage."

"You're going to do it whether I tell you I have some pain or not. I already see the needle prepped in Josef's hands," Greg said to him. Dr. Wilenstein smiled again. "Oh you are a smart one. Yes, I guess you are right we will do it no matter what. We are going much smaller dose this time and see what the results are. Then we can increase little by little to see what is the most effective dosage for our client's needs."

"What are you trying to get me to confess?" Greg smirked, wondering how they would test him.

The doctor laughed. "Oh, we don't need you to confess anything. We just need to see what your breaking point is in pain. Granted some people will have higher breaking points than others. Seeing you spent the last few years in prison, I am sure you toughed up some and probably have a higher threshold. Again, a reason you are a great candidate for this test. Now shall we proceed?" The doctor had Josef had him the syringe. Josef then grabbed the mouthpiece and motioned for Greg to open his mouth. Greg allowed him to insert it. He really had no choice any way.

Josef held down his arm again as Dr. Frankenstein injected the serum into his arm. He knew last time he had convulsions, only because he was told. He did not remember it. This time he had a feeling he would remember whatever happened to him.

The doctor and Josef stepped back and waited to see what happened to him. Greg started to feel warm. Then he felt the first surge of pain through his spine. He stiffened up from the pain. Suddenly it started spreading through his whole body. He jerked and bit down hard on the mouthpiece from the pain. He jerked some more as tears came to his eyes. It felt like his whole body was on fire. His whole body began to tremble. He could barely hear Dr. Frankenstein discussing excitedly with Josef about the results.

After about ten minutes of complete and utter pain, it started to lessen some. The jerking had stopped but some trembling remained. "We want to take out your mouthpiece," Josef told him. They waited for him to nod and open his mouth. He took another minute before opening his mouth for it to be removed.

He was breathing heavily through his mouth. He could hear his heart monitor beeping faster than it had before.

"Your blood pressure is a bit high right now but nothing too extreme. Do you feel pain all over? How bad is it on a scale of 1 to 10?" Dr. Frankenstein asked him.

"F…fffuck you!" Greg stuttered out. This only made the doctor laugh again. "Oh, I do enjoy your spirit. I am guessing we will be able to increase the dosage some tomorrow. However we will see how long this dosage takes to subside and if it leaves any side effects. Josef will keep an eye on you for most of the day. Feel free to talk to him if you want to."

Josef looked like he was only in his twenties. Greg wondered how he found this job. Perhaps he was related to Dr. Frankenstein. Josef wrote on a clipboard and proceeded to pull up a rolling chair next to Greg's bed. The kid pulled out his cell phone and started playing on it.

Since he was conscious albeit in pain, he decided to better study his surroundings. His bed was not too far from the staircase. There was a table of needles and serum bottles next to where Josef had pulled his chair out from. About five feet on his other side was another patient in a bed, unconscious. There seemed to be only one other patient in a bed that was conscious, but all they did was moan. He did not know what was wrong with any of them and wondered how long some had been there.

After a few minutes Josef got up and went into the office which was across the room from the stairs. He came back out a few seconds later with a bag of chips and sat back down on the seat, by Greg. "Are you seriously going to eat by me when I am practically starving here?" Greg managed to say quietly, through the pain that was starting to subside a little.

Josef looked at the bag of chips and purposely picked one out of the bag and slowly placed it in his mouth, with a big smile. "Fuck you!" Greg said through gritted teeth. Josef laughed. "Sorry, but you get enough from the IV to live. Don't worry about it. I'm sure after the next test, if Doc is satisfied, you'll be in a nice little coma again for some time and not have to worry about hunger pains.

"How about some water at least?" Greg tried since his throat was super dry. Josef looked at the binds that held Greg to the bed and shrugged. He got up and went over to a small refrigerator that was under the table. He pulled out a bottle of water. He came over and studied the patient again. He then helped lift his head up a little and put the bottle to his mouth. Greg drank and stopped when some went down the wrong way. He started coughing some. Josef took the bottle away.

"Don't choke on it! The doc will have my balls if you choke to death. That's all you get for now. Why don't you just try to sleep or something?"

Greg hurt even more from the coughing. He decided it was time to maybe sleep. There was not much else he could do. He could try asking the kid more questions but he was getting more tired now. The pain was taking its toll on him.


	19. Chapter 19

Nick was walking into the lobby of FreChem with an officer at 8:30 am sharp. He went up the reception desk and saw the woman behind the desk open her eyes in alarm. "Um, how can I help you officers?" She asked as Nick flashed his ID at her.

"I was wondering if Mike Sullivan was in. We would like to talk to him about his former employee, Greg Sanders," Nick told her.

"Oh yes, such a tragic death to have here. We really liked him," the woman said. Nick took this as an opportunity to see how well she really knew him.

"How well did you know him? Did he show any signs of depression or anything when he was here?" Nick asked.

"No, not really. He seemed to like working here. I mean he was only here a few weeks but he came in with a smile each day. I don't recall seeing him on his last day. I might have been busy at the desk here and missed his arrival and departure."

"Do you have cameras at the entrance here?" Nick asked, now that he knew he was not the dead body.

"Yes, we do."

"Do you know if they are kept in memory?"

"Um, that would be something you would have to ask Mr. Sullivan about. Let me see if he is in yet. He often comes in through the back entrance," she said quickly. She picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Good Morning Mr. Sullivan, we have a couple officers here from the LVPD who would like to talk to you?" She paused a moment. She looked at Nick and asked him name, as she did not really get it when he flashed his badge. "Yes, it is Nick Stokes from the LVPD Crime Lab. He was asking about Greg Sanders…Yes, he has a few more questions…Okay. I will have him wait for you to come down. Thank you!" She hung up the phone and looked at him. "He will be down in a few minutes to get you. If you would like to take a seat, please go head."

Nick decided to stand over to the side rather than take a seat while waiting on the FreChem manager. He looked up and saw a camera pointing at the doorway. He also saw one down near the elevators. If Greg left that day, he would be on video.

He saw a tall, dark haired man approaching from the elevators. He knew this to be Michael Sullivan. The man came up to him with his hand out to shake. "Mr. Stokes, I am so sorry for your loss. How can I be of assistance to you today?"

"Is there someplace private we can talk?" Nick asked him. They were going to wait a day or two to reveal that the body found was not Greg Sanders. They wanted to find the true dead person's next of kin first and notify them before saying anything.

"Sure, we can go to my office. Come follow me." Nick and the officer followed him to the elevators where they went to the 2nd floor where is office was. He advised them to take a seat and then sat behind his desk.

"What can I do for you today?" He asked.

Nick was looking around his office and saw a very sterile looking place. It looked like he hardly spent much time in here. "We have decided to further investigate Greg Sanders death. We see that you have cameras here filming who comes and goes. We were hoping to see the video of his last day at work here."

Mike Sullivan looked deeply apologetic suddenly. "I am so sorry, but we do not keep those videos more than 48 hours."

"Why is that? I would think a place like this, with the type of people you have coming in, you might have issues and need to keep that kind of thing for longer than 48 hours," Nick inquired.

"Believe it or not, Mr. Stokes, we do not have many issues with our clients here. They are just happy to be able to make some money while also hoping to cure or at least ease their many conditions. We rarely have any problems here."

"Still I would think with the type of chemicals and other things you have here, you would want it to be protected as much as possible and if something went missing and was not noticed until four days later, you have no video to see who has come and gone," Nick pressed.

"I guess that is true but again we have been very lucky and only try to hire honest people. May I ask why all the questions?"

"We were hoping to get a time line of when exactly he left and what type of mood he seemed to be in. Do you mind if I talk to some of your employees again about him? Also, when was the last time you spoke to him?"

"Let me think, I believe it was a few days prior. I did not see him that often, once he was working on a regular basis. He did seem fine on that day. I just simply said hello to him in passing. He said hello to me back and was on his way. I really don't know what else to tell you. I just think it is so horrible that we didn't see how depressed he was."

"The day before he 'took' his life, he had met with a client who happened to be in prison with him at the same time as he was. Do you know of Steven Pikes?" Nick asked.

"I'm sorry Mr. Stokes, there is no way for me to keep track of all of our clients. That is for our records people. Greg had mentioned this client to you, I am gathering. Did they have words?" Mr. Sullivan asked, kind of curious now. He would have to look up this man's records.

"Yes, they did and it had upset Greg. But he was more worried about the C-pak drug that this client was referring to. I know you have since stopped giving that drug out to people. It still bothered him knowing he was working at a place that was giving out medication that made people kill others when they took too much of it. I still find it hard to believe you all had no idea of this happening. It was all over the news," Nick told him.

"Again, I don't have much time to watch the news. I had heard of C-pak but I had no idea they were referring to our medication. I am glad it was brought to our attention. We run a very law abiding place here. We do not want any trouble." He smiled.

Nick found his smile very creepy and he was not sure why. Maybe it was that he did not trust him. "I am sure you do not. Thank you for your time. May we speak to some of your employees again to help us with that time line?"

Mr. Sullivan drew a deep breath. "Yes, but know we are very busy and they might not have much time for you. I doubt they can answer much more than you have already got from them."

"I understand but I still want to try. May I start with the nurse he worked with often with? I believe her name was Jenny."

Mr. Sullivan did not look too thrilled by who he requested to see first. "Oh yes, I will take you to her. You may have to wait. She might be with a client." Nick told he understood.

He followed Mr. Sullivan out of his office and down the hall to an exam room. Jenny was inside the room, cleaning some equipment. She looked up and saw surprised to see the officers.

"Jenny, Mr. Stokes would like to talk to you some more about Greg Sanders. I will have Kathy hold any clients until you are done here." He turned to Nick. "Please feel free to talk to any others once you are done here." He then left them alone.

"Hi Jenny, I know we spoke briefly before, but do you recall the last time you saw Greg that day?"

"It was at lunch. He never returned from lunch that day. I guess that was about 12:45pm? We usually go around 12:15pm. We kind of go in shifts, so someone is always available to see clients. He would go from 12:15 to 1:15, since we get an hour."

"So you never saw him return from lunch? What happened to his clients in the afternoon?" Nick asked.

Jenny thought about it. "Well, come to think of it, Kathy already seemed to know he was gone, since she told me to let Kenny see all his clients for the rest of the day."

"How come you did not mention this before?" Nick asked her.

"I guess I was kind of distraught and did not think about it. I really thought he was a sweet guy and I know he had been a little upset since the one client the day before but never dreamed he would kill himself," she told him.

"Okay, okay. So Kathy is the receptionist, I gather for the returning clients," Nick asked for clarification. Jenny nodded and replied that she was. Nick thanked her for her time and asked to see this Kathy.

Kathy was an attractive, long haired brunette. He was expecting some older lady and was kind of surprised. "Hi Kathy, I would like to ask you a few questions." She looked a little nervous.

"Sure, anything I can do to help," she replied. "I hear you advised Jenny that Kenny would be taking over all of Greg's clients for the day he disappeared. How did you know he was gone? Did he tell you he was leaving?" He watched her reactions. He saw her dart her eyes to the side and chew on her lower lip.

"I, uh, was told by Josef, who is a part-timer here that Greg had left early, unexpectedly and to have Kenny take his clients."

"Where can I find this Josef?" he asked, suddenly interested in this new person.

"I don't know. Like I said he is part-time and usually is working on the first floor. I guess that is why he knew Greg had left, he must have seen him," Kathy said quickly.

"Does he have a last name?" Nick pressed. "I don't know it. You may need to talk to HR, which is located in our Freedom offices across town."

Nick frowned. That was not the answer he wanted. "Do you know of anyone else here who works closely with Josef?" Kathy shook her head. "Ask downstairs."

"Fine, thank you for your time." Nick walked out with the officer behind him. "See if you can get in touch with the HR office at Freedom and ask about this Josef," he told the officer as they went down to the first floor again.

"I'm going to talk to the people down here again and if I have to, Mr. Sullivan again."

Nick spent the next half hour asking about his Josef. No one knew his last name. They described his looks but said they did not see him that often. They all assumed he worked at Freedom most of the time, since they hardly ever saw him. All employees had to scan their ID to enter the building as their way of clocking in but to leave they entered their time on the computer. Apparently the last time Josef entered the building with his ID was a week and a half ago and yet he had been paid for more days. That was why they all assumed he had been at Freedom the last few times.

Nick walked outside to get some fresh air, as he was getting frustrated. Someone was hiding something. They knew more about Greg's disappearance than they were letting on. Officer Riley was outside, waiting on him. "Josef Wilen is his name. He is employed by Freedom part-time. He assists with special projects is what they told us. He is a medical assistant. He is on vacation right now, out of the country in Europe they said. He gets some vacation time, since he used to be full-time they said. That was how he is paid this last week."

"Convenient that the last guy to possibly see Greg is out of the country now and that he was never even mentioned before. Let's go back to LVPD. I need to think and do some more research. Then I have a feeling I will be coming back here, maybe with a search warrant," Nick told him.

He had fallen asleep and was woken up by some noise. He opened his eyes and saw by the office area Dr. Frankenstein talking to Mike Sullivan. He tried to hear what they were saying, but they were speaking softly.

It was a few minutes of observing before they seemed to be aware he was watching them. They both walked over to him. Mike was the first one to talk. "Apparently your boyfriend is still investigating your death. He came by again today, saying he was trying to create a timeline from when everyone last saw you. He really seems to be in denial that you are dead." He grinned.

Knowing Nick had been there, this much time after his assumed death, gave Greg some hope. He had to figure out a way to send a message or something.

"Interestingly enough, he mentioned that you had seen a client the day before your 'death' that upset you. I see he was in prison with you. He had been convicted of sex crimes. I wonder why he upset you so much. But knowing you are gay, I can assume your life was not fun in prison. I have a feeling this Steve Pikes was part of that," he told him, feeling some glee when he saw Greg's face grow darker.

"You're a piece of shit. There will be a day, whether I live to see it or not, that you will be in prison too. I am sure with your looks that you will not have fun either, so fuck off!" Greg seethed.

"Well, Dr. Wilenstein, he seems quite ready for another dose. I heard you were going to up it a little from last time. I would like to watch the immediate results, if you don't mind," Mike Sullivan growled in response.

"It will be my pleasure," Dr. Frankenstein said. Greg watched as he went over to the side and grabbed a syringe off a metal, rolling table. He handed the mouthpiece to Mike. "He'll need this."

Mike turned to Greg and held the mouthpiece in front of his face. "Open up," he sneered. Greg did not want to, but he now knew he needed it otherwise he would have surely bit off part of his tongue when it first kicks in. He opened up and Mike placed it in his mouth. Greg just shot daggers at his with his eyes.

"Please hold his arm for me, since Josef is not here right now," Dr. Frankenstein asked his evil partner in crime. It was easier for Greg to think of them like this otherwise his fear would show and he did not want them to see how scared he was. He knew the last one he had still not completely recovered from. Both of his hands seemed to shake a little almost all the time now.

As the needle was inserted, he purposely bit down hard on the mouthpiece in preparation for the oncoming pain spasms that would shoot violently through his body. If this was a stronger dose, he knew it would be bad. He could not even look at the two men carefully awaiting his reaction. He turned his head to the side, avoiding them.

The first pain spasm hit with such force, his whole body jerked. He closed his eyes as the second and third one came just as horribly and quickly. Soon his whole body was trembling from his sensory nerves being hit with such fire. It was the only thing he could think of, since he had been burned some in the lab explosion years ago. That had been some of the worst pain he ever felt. This was now topping that pain.

He did not see Mike Sullivan looking very happy with the results. He did not hear him congratulating Dr. Wilenstein for the accomplishment. All he wanted to do was to go unconscious to stop feeling this horrible fire through the inside of his body, causing him to shake and occasionally completely lift his body against the restraints with the force of the jerking his nerves were making his muscles do. He was starting to think death might not be so bad of an option after all, compared to this.

The pain eventually did cause him to lose consciousness but it was to be expected from Dr. Wilenstein. "You will see, next time he will start to beg us not to inject him again. Once the begging starts, that is when someone is willing to tell the truth, just to avoid the thought of that kind of pain again," the doctor explained to his boss, Mike Sullivan.

"Excellent. Next time be sure to film the results. We will need proof of the effect in order to sell it," Sullivan told him.

"I will have Josef set up the camera equipment for next time. We might have to let him rest a little longer before the next dose. I noticed he was still shaking when we gave him this one. We don't want to fry his nerves out too quickly with so many close doses," Dr. Wilenstein told him.

"Agreed, just be careful. The police have been snooping upstairs. Make sure you keep using the back entrance," Sullivan warned him. Sullivan then looked down at the former CSI. His body still had some shaking and jerking but it was not as bad as it had been. "Make sure to test his speech later on when he wakes up. If he cannot talk right, they will not want the product."

He congratulated the doctor one more time before leaving him alone with the patients in the lab.


	20. Chapter 20

Nick felt like he was going crazy. Greg was somewhere out there but he did not know where. He had nothing to really go on yet with a search warrant for FreChem. He needed some kind of break. For all he knew, Greg was still maybe dead but for other reasons than taking his own life. He just wanted to know for sure now that he knew that body was not Greg's.

Since the original case fell with the evening shift, Nick had been staying late, working with his old partners on it. Morgan came walking up quickly to him. "I think I have our reason for a search warrant!"

His eyes opened wide. Russell was standing next to him. "What is it?" Morgan proceeded to explain that she had been looking into their dead body since he was finally ID and family was contacted. She told him that he had been homeless and a missing person, which they knew. His sister told her that last time she saw him alive, he had mentioned about going to a clinic for some medical study. She remembered it was Free something. "There are no other clinical study places in the greater Las Vegas area that have Fre-anything in their name but FreChem," she said excitedly.

Russell smiled. "We have a dead body of someone who used FreChem, found in the burned out car of an employee, who is also now missing, of the same place. I'll get working on that warrant now. Great work team!"

Nick was feeling better now, they could finally really dig in at this place. He could not wait until he could go there with the search warrant and shove it in Mike Sullivan's face. Plus he could not wait to see what his reaction would be when they told him Greg was not in that car and that someone else was. He just had a feeling that guy was behind Greg's disappearance. He was too smug about it.

Nick went to his locker to get something out of it. When he opened the door, he looked at the picture he had of Greg in there. It was an old photo, back from when they first went public with their relationship. He never took it down in the all the years he was in prison. He thought about all those years he lost in prison and now he was losing time again, out there somewhere. He never believed he was dead and he still did not believe it. He was alive, out there somewhere. He only hoped he found him soon, so they would stop losing time together.

He knew if he got him back this time, he was going to prove to him once and for all how much he cared about him. He was not going to allow any doubt in his head. "I'm going to find you and take you home, where you belong," he said to the photo.

Russell popped his head in the locker room. "We will have to wait until morning for the search warrant. But we will have it first thing. Why don't you try to get some sleep and be here to go with us."

Nick agreed to go home and try to sleep, knowing he would be lucky if he got an hour in. He also knew he had to be rested up to make sure the search was done thoroughly. He was not going to leave that place until every crevice had been examined.

A painful nerve jerk woke him up. He groggily opened his eyes and blinked at the overhead florescent lighting. He turned his head to the side and saw Josef sitting in his chair, snoozing. He opened his mouth and it was so dry. He was pretty sure he could drink a few gallons of water easily right then.

He saw the metal rolling table by Josef and saw a syringe with solution in it. It was probably going to be his next dose. As his whole body trembled again, he knew he could not deal with another dose. He had to find some way to get free before they truly killed him from this torture drug.

He sized up Josef. He was a skinny kid. He could probably take him easily if he was not so weak and in pain. All he needed to do was incapacitate him for enough time that he could try to get to the stairs and up to the door.

He noticed a camera set up on a tripod on the Josef's chair. When did that get there? Did they plan to film the next time they gave him a dose? When he thought about it, it would make sense for them to have video proof if they were trying to sell this product. It just made him sick.

He wished he knew what time it was. He had no concept of time since there were no windows or clocks in his view. He only knew occasionally when they mentioned the time of day. He just knew someone was always in the lab, whether it be Josef or Dr. Frankenstein, who usually kept to his office. Greg did not see him over there, so it was only Josef.

Suddenly he heard a sound that sounded like a text message coming in on Josef's cell phone.

It startled Josef awake. He fumbled for his phone in his pocket and pulled it out to answer it. He had not noticed Greg was awake yet. Greg closed his eyes to make it look like he was still out of it.

"Hello?" Greg heard him respond. "Um, he still looks like he is out of it," Josef said to the other person on the line. "Okay, how much later?"

"Oh okay, yeah I guess I have to. See you then." Josef seemed not too happy in his response. He placed his phone on the metal table next to him. Greg could hear the clink. He heard him mumbling something about sick of babysitting. He could hear the kid start walking away. He opened his eyes a little and saw Josef going around the room, checking on all the vitals of everyone else. Greg decided he would wait until he came back around his area before 'waking up'.

It took Josef a few minutes before he was back to his stool. Greg had a sudden pain jolt through his body that made him reveal he was awake by the gasp he took. That jolt was soon followed by another pain shooting through his whole body.

Josef stood up and walked over to him. "How bad is it?" he asked him. Greg glared up at him. "It's not fading as quickly anymore," he said to him with a raspy voice. It was true. He still felt in pain overall besides the extreme shooting pains.

Josef grabbed his clipboard and put notes on it. He noted the trembling still occurring too. Greg watched him. "So maybe that next dose will kill me," he said and then started coughing. His throat was so dry. He could really use some water again. Suddenly an idea came to his mind. He had to try, it would be better than doing nothing at all.

He coughed some more. "Can I please, please have some water," he begged the kid. Josef frowned but decided he probably could use the water since he sounded horrible.

"Fine." He got up and took a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. He went to Greg and lifted his head some. Greg was going to have to try to give the best acting performance he could now if this was going to work at all.

Josef put the bottle to his lips. Greg took a large gulp. He started coughing, like he was choking. Josef at first shook his head. "I told you the other day to be careful," he tried to turn him to his side to tap his back but since he was restrained he did not have much motion.

Greg started coughing more harshly, making it seem like he was really choking. He started gasping for breath. Josef finally became alarmed. "Shit! If you die from choking, I'm going to get my ass in your place."

Greg kept up the act, even attempting to hold his breath some to make him look worse off. Josef looked around franticly before swearing again. He suddenly started to unbuckle the restraints around Greg's right wrist. He leaned him over to his left side to try to help him with tapping him on the back, but Greg continued the act of gasping for breath.

Josef was getting frustrated and undid the buckle on his other wrist. With both wrists free, Josef tried turning him over more hoping to clear his lungs. He was still hindered by his ankles being buckled. He looked at Greg's face and saw he was extremely pale and still gasping. He cursed again and quickly undid the ankle braces.

Finally, having his whole body free, Josef pulled him down to the ground, on his knees and started pounding on his back. Greg's cough started subsiding, as he seemed to be able to finally take some breaths. Josef felt some relief, realizing his patient was not going to die from choking on water.

Suddenly Josef felt a jab in his gut, followed by another quick one. He buckled over from the pain and loss of breath. Next thing he knew, his patient had his arms wrapped around his neck, in a choke hold. He started grabbing at Greg's arms but his clutch grew tighter, cutting off his air. He was shocked at the strength the man holding him had.

Greg's desperation to get out of there fueled his hold around his neck. He was still being fought off and was starting to lose his energy though. He looked to the side and saw the metal table. He removed one arm from around the neck if his captor and reached for the legs of the table, pulling it over until it tipped over. The contents from the table fell onto the floor.

As Greg went to reach for the syringe, Josef took his elbow and jabbed Greg in his stomach. Greg lost his grip Josef, allowing the kid to jump on top of Greg. He punched Greg in the face and all of Greg's nerve endings flared with pain. Greg relaxed his fight before Josef punched him again. Josef had not seen Greg grasp the syringe in his right hand.

Josef seemed pleased that he had overpowered him until he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his side. His eyes opened wide and he looked down at the needle in him. He looked at Greg and quickly backed off him. He grabbed the needle out of his side and looked around frantically to see where it had come from. When he saw the table that had been set up for the next dose knocked over, his fears were realized.

He looked around for his cell phone. It had fallen on the floor. When he tried to reach for it, Greg managed to roll over and knock it further away. Josef was furious. He kicked Greg in the gut, causing the other man to scream out in pain. He was about it kick him again when he suddenly felt the first jolt of pain shoot through him.

Greg was curled up on his side in pain, but watched as Josef suddenly dropped to the ground and started shaking. He started going into a seizure. He was not sure if the dose was that much larger or because he was of smaller body frame and weight, it affected him worse. In any case, he was incapacitated. Greg had to take his chance now if he was ever going to escape, even if he was in immense pain.

He pulled the IV's out of his arm and he crawled over to get to the cell phone, only to find that it had busted the glass completely in the fall from the table. He tried using it but it would not react to anything. He looked over at the stairs and knew that was his only other way out.

He struggled to stand but when he did he realized his strength was not going to last long. He still had the catheter attached and had to drag it along with him. He grabbed onto anything he could to help himself hold upright as he walked to the staircase. When he reached it, he was grateful there was a handrail. He was going to need it to drag himself up.

It was steeper than he thought it was. He was moving so slow and worried the others would come before he made it to the top, but between his overall pain and weakness, it was not easy.

As he neared the top, he fell to his knees. He was so tired and in so much pain, he was not sure he could make it all the way to the door. He used his arms to help pull himself up the few remaining stairs. By the time he reached the top, he felt like he was about to pass out.

He looked up and was devastated to see no regular door handle. It was high-tech and required a fingerprint to open up. He knew it would not work for him. He tried anyway to reach up and put it but it only blinked red when he did.

He took the little bit of strength he had left in his body and started pounding on the door, hoping someone was in the bathroom to hear him. He only did it for a minute before he had to rest. It was draining him too quickly.

He looked down and saw Josef lying on the floor below, unconscious. He went back and pounded on the door some more. Pain shot through his whole body again, making him curl up in pain.

"Please, someone hear me. Please!" he cried out quietly. Tears started flowing as his pounding became less and less effective.

"I can't do this much longer," he said as he laid down on the top stair. He had used the last bit of energy he had. His hopes of escape were fading fast, along with his consciousness.

Nick along with Russell and two other CSI's from his shift were at the doors of FreChem before they even opened their doors. They also were joined by a few police officers and Capt. Lewis. Mike Sullivan came down to the lobby immediately once he heard that the police were waiting outside.

"What is the meaning of all of this? We've let you come and talk to our employees twice now. This is fringing on harassment!"

Capt. Mark Lewis stepped forward with the warrant. "We are here with a search warrant. The body found in Greg Sanders burned out car was not him, but a former patient of yours. Also that means Greg Sanders is missing and was last seen here," the captain told him.

Nick saw a brief second of worry cross Sullivan's face before he looked shocked. "What? That was not him? But I thought the body was burned beyond recognition?"

"Oh it was but you see there are still other ways, like bone marrow from the skeleton. We were able to match it to Ralph Cuello, who it turns out has been missing for three months. And now we have Greg Sanders, who has been missing for almost three weeks now. Apparently there are a few of your former clients who are now missing persons. Do you know anything about his?" D.B. Russell asked him.

"No, I know nothing of this. I mean we do have many homeless people that come here. I assume they do not always let their family know where they are since they are embarrassed about their current state," Sullivan tried to explain.

Nick was feeling impatient. He wanted to start searching for anything that might lead him to Greg. "Can we just get started?" Nick said to Russell. Russell looked to the Captain, who nodded to go ahead. He had already given Mr. Sullivan the search warrant. They had no choice but to let them search the place.

Mike Sullivan thought about the hidden lab. "I need to make some calls to our lawyers," he said as he started to walk away.

"That's fine. I will join you and then we can talk some more once you are done talking to your lawyers," Captain Lewis told him. Sullivan frowned but had to let the Captain follow him to his office. He would not be able to make a call to Josef to warn him to be quiet down in the lab.

Nick turned to Russell. "I want to start down here. They have a lot of doors down the back hall that I have not seen what's behind them."

"Fine, Akers and Jones will stay down here. I will go up on 2 with Morgan and the others will go up on 3. Call me if you find anything," Russell told him.

Nick had already seen most of the lobby and office area. He wanted to explore the areas he had not seen yet. Then he would go back to the office and start digging through it more.

The first door was a closet full of cleaning supplies. Most of the doors on the first floor were rooms that held office supplies and supplies for the labs upstairs. He walked into one and saw a box full of the paper they put on the chairs you see in the doctor's office. He figured those were for the second floor office like Greg worked out of.

He rummaged through boxes, seeing if anything was familiar to him or looked out of place. It all looked perfectly normal, he supposed for a place like this. He went into the next room and found some computer and medical equipment. It also seemed to be the engineering room, where the controls for the power in the building and phone system was. He looked around and did not see any kind of clue again.

Next to this room was the two restrooms. First was the women's room. He let Jones go look in there since Jones was female. He went to the men's restroom. He looked around and noticed it seemed very clean, like it was hardly used. He did remember seeing more up front by the lobby and figured those were probably used more often. These were probably only used by employees. It had three stalls. He walked in each one, looking around for anything but really did not know what he would find. All he knew was the longer Greg was gone the less chances were of finding him.

He left the restroom and met up with Jones in the hallway, who also reported seeing nothing. "Let's head back to the lobby," he said. They started walking back when he thought he heard a pounding suddenly. "Did you hear that?" He asked the others.

Akers nodded. "It sounded like it came from behind us. Maybe the plumbing in the walls?" Nick thought that was a possibility. He stood still a little while longer and then suddenly heard it again. "That was not plumbing." They walked back towards the restrooms.

A little more pounding but not as loud, still it seemed to be coming from the men's restroom. Nick opened the door and walked in, with the two others behind him. "Let's just stand here and see if it's coming from in here," he told them.

He heard it again, this time more faint but it was definitely coming from the far wall area of the restroom. He walked over and looked at the tiled wall. One more tiny thump against the other side of the wall was heard.

"Do you think there is an animal stuck between the walls making that noise?" Akers asked. Nick was not paying attention, he was looking at the wall up and down and noticed something. The grouting seemed darker in in certain areas. He stood back further and could see it now. It was darker in the shape of a rectangle, like a door.

"Does that look like a hidden door or are my eyes deceiving me?" He asked the others as he started to press against the tiles.

"I guess, maybe," Jones said to him. Nick kept pushing on each large square tile. He was nearing the bottom when one pushed in some suddenly. Suddenly he stood back as a door emerged from the wall, starting to open.

It was when the door was almost all the way open that his heart lept to his throat. He saw a body laying on the stairwell that the door opened to. The face was down but he knew who it was.

He ran to the person and knelt down on the stairs next to him. He shook as he turned the body over. "Greg!"


	21. Chapter 21

Nick knew Greg was still alive, as his whole body was trembling. "Greg, can you hear me?" he asked as he held him in his arms. He was pale as ghost. He had over two weeks of hair growth on his face. He had on what looked like a hospital gown. He also seemed to have something attached to him and realized it was a catheter. He looked the stairs and could not see much but it looked like another lab. He would have to look at it later. Right now, he was concerned that Greg was not responding and did not look well at all. He even felt thinner.

Officer Jones was already calling for the paramedics to get to their location. Officer Akers walked around Nick and Greg and went down the stairs to see what was down there. He went down and saw another unconscious man right near the bottom of the stairs. He checked on his vitals and found a pulse. He looked up and suddenly realized there were beds full of people. "Nick, this is scary. There are at least 15 beds down here with people…like a hospital ward. They all seem unconscious. There is one guy here on the ground, in a lab coat, also unconscious."

Nick shuddered hearing it and realizing they had some underground secret human testing lab and Greg must have stumbled upon it. They trapped him and made him one of their guinea pigs. "Call Russell and the others down here now and get more ambulances."

He focused back on Greg who seemed to be stirring. "Greg, it's Nick. You're safe now." The big brown eyes looked up at him. "Nick?" The Texan man nodded down at him. "Yes, it's me. I was worried sick about you."

Greg shuddered in his arms a moment and shut his eyes. "It hurts," he groaned. He opened them again. "There are others."

"We know. Help is on the way. We saw them. Where do you hurt? I don't see any obvious wounds," Nick asked as he looked him over.

Greg shook his head. "It's the drug they kept giving me. Some torture medication they were testing on me. It affects the nervous system," he told Nick.

"Torture medication? What does that even mean?" he questioned him. Greg was so tired and his chest was hurting him more than anything. "Later," he told him softly, not wanting to talk more now. He was just glad he was found before Dr. Frankenstein came back.

Nick was a little more worried now, hearing he had been given some weird experimental drug. They would have no idea how it may affect him for the long run. Obviously it was causing him pain right now. His hands were shaking along with his whole body now.

"Who is behind all of this?" Nick asked, hoping to get some more answers before the paramedics got there. Greg's tired eyes looked up at him. "Sullivan and some doctor with an accent…Wilensten or something. I preferred to call him Dr. Frankenstein." Nick smiled at how somehow Greg managing to find some amusement in his horrible situation.

Nick looked up at Officer Jones, who heard Mike Sullivan's name mentioned and got on the phone to let Capt. Lewis know right away. It was time to arrest this man. He looked back at Greg, who seemed to be closing his eyes again. "Captain Lewis is with Mike Sullivan now, he will take care of him. Who is the guy in the lab coat down there?"

"Josef…that's all I know. I think he's related to the doctor," Greg told him softly. He was really tired and hurt all over. He just wanted sleep now. Nick now realized Morgan's find was true.

"I believe Josef is his son. We found out about some crazy doctor who experimented on humans for the Nazi's and well, his son and grandson might just be the ones who were experimenting on you and all those others down there. Do you know what's wrong with all of them?"

Greg wanted Nick to stop asking questions but he knew it was natural for him to do it. "Medical induced comas…I was in one for the first week."

They heard commotion. The paramedics had arrived. Greg was grateful only because he knew they would make Nick stop making him talk. He felt a little dizzy and was sure these shots had really messed him up now.

They made Nick move out of the way to tend to Greg. A batch of others went past them down the stairs. Nick watched as the paramedics lifted Greg onto a stretcher. He did not hear D.B. Russell come up behind him.

"How's he doing?" Nick turned around and saw Russell. "I'm not sure, honestly. They tested some torture drug on him, he told me. He does not have any real visible wounds but he seems to be in a lot of pain. He said they put them all in a medically induced coma, he had been in one too, for his first week here. Since then I guess he's been given this drug. He said it attacks the nervous system. See how he is trembling, it's due to that." Russell looked over at the man. He had never met Greg yet, but heard so much about him from Nick and his former co-workers. They all seemed to love him and were sad for him also that he had gone to prison. He knew he did not come by to visit since he was no allowed to be on the grounds, but he also never had them over to their place. Greg had not been comfortable yet seeing everyone that was what Nick always said. After this ordeal, he wondered if he would ever want to see anyone again.

"I'm sure the doctors at the hospital will take good care of him," Russell told him. Nick looked at Russell. "I want to ride in the ambulance with him. I don't want him to be alone." Russell understood. "Go ahead. This is technically our shift's case anyway. I'm just glad you found him alive."

Nick smiled at him. "Thanks. Hopefully one day you can meet him officially in better circumstances. I have a feeling he would like you a lot." Russell smiled back. "I'm sure I would like him too. Take care of him. Now I got to head down there and see what the heck is going on." He was referring to the secret lab.

Nick went up the paramedics and told them he was joining them. He looked down at Greg as they wheeled him to the back of the ambulance. "You're in good hands now." Greg just nodded.

Once in the ambulance, Nick sat to the side as the paramedics tried asking Greg some questions about how he felt. Greg just mentioned how much he hurt all over and felt weird otherwise. He could not tell them what exactly was given to him since he had no idea what was in this test torture drug. He told them it was supposed to attack his nervous system and cause pain.

Luckily, it was a short trip to the hospital from FreChem. Greg had been quiet the rest of the ride to the ambulance. He was still awake but closed his eyes often from the pain. He knew it should have worn off more by now but it had now. He wondered if they permanently damaged his nerves.

Nick walked with them as they rolled him into the hospital. They placed Greg in a waiting area, since he was not in any kind of serious condition. "We will examine him and move him to a room in a little bit," a nurse said as she set up his medical chart and connected an IV and blood pressure machine to him. "You may stay with him for now." Nick was grateful he could sit with him.

He gazed at Greg, who had his face scrunched up in pain. He was worried about what was really wrong with him. "Do you feel any better?" he asked him.

Greg just shook his head. The pain in his chest felt like it was getting worse. "My chest, it feels worse." Suddenly the heart monitor connected to him sounded the alarm. He screamed out and clutched his chest.

The next thing Nick knew, he was being pushed aside by nurses and doctors as they tended to Greg. "He's having a heart attack! Get him into Emergency Three now," yelled a doctor in blue scrubs. Nick stood there, his mouth open, as they pushed Greg away from him into the emergency room. All he heard was 'heart attack' and not believing they were saying that about Greg. He felt his whole body stiffen at the thought. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Sir, come with me," a young female nurse said to him. She walked him over to the family waiting area. She sat him down and could see he was in some kind of shock. "They will take good care of him. Luckily he was right here when it happened. When they are done, I will have them let you know right away how he is."

He finally looked up at the pretty face. "He's only 38. How can he be having a heart attack?" Deep down he knew it was possible, given the circumstances but right now he was not thinking right.

"It's good that he is still young. His chances are better. Do you know if he has any heart disease in his family history?"

Nick thought a moment. "His mother died from heart failure, so I guess there is some." He had never thought about anything like this before. He had not needed to. Now he wish he knew more about his parents, but both passed away in their 60's and he was never that close to them as an adult.

"I will let the doctor know. Let us know if you need anything. We are just over at the desk," she told him before leaving him. He sat there, still trying to compute that Greg was having a heart attack. He had been through so much already. Was his body strong enough to survive this right now? He was scared at that answer.

He was not sure how long he was sitting there before someone came up to him. "Mr. Stokes?" He looked up and saw the doctor with the blue scrubs on. "Yeah, that's me."

The doctor sat down next to him. "I am Dr. Brown. Your partner, Greg Sanders is in serious condition right now. He had a heart attack. The stress his body has been under due to this mystery medication he has been given seems to have been the overall cause. We know it has attacked his nervous system, which in turn has also affected his heart. We do expect him to recover. However, I am concerned since we do not know about his medication and its long term effects. We will want to closely monitor him and see if any of the current effects subside, such as his shaking and the pain he was in. Once he is better, we will be running numerous tests to see if we can help him out."

Nick was not sure he felt much better with the news. He was glad Greg was alive but the doctor's worries mirrored his own. "Do you think he could have another heart attack?"

"Honestly, it's always possible once someone has had one. And again, not knowing exactly what was given to him limits us in some of his treatment. We have to be very careful of any other medication we give him. We do not know how it might interact with this mystery drug. I wish I had better news for you," the doctor told him. Nick sighed. "I understand. It's just so frustrating."

"I know. We will let you know when you can see him. Give us about 30 minutes to get him a room and set up." After the doctor left, Nick sat back down in the waiting room. He put his face in his hands. He just got Greg back after almost seven years and now this happens to him. He still struggled with PTSD from prison trauma and now this happens to him. He still could not believe he had a heart attack. It just felt like everything was happening so fast now.

He was tired now. He had been going non-stop since hearing it was not Greg's body in that car without hardly any sleep. He was lucky if he had managed 6 hours in the last 72 hours. He needed sleep but he needed to see Greg first. He had to see for himself that he was okay. He hoped they would let him stay in his room. He hated being away from him now.

He was dozing off when a nurse came up to him. "Mr. Stokes?" He looked up at her. "Yes?" She smiled at him. "You can see Mr. Sanders now. He is in ICU 4 on the 3rd floor." She told him how to get there. He thanked her and got up to go see his love.

He walked up and could see him in the bed through the window. He looked so pale and small suddenly, it broke his heart. He felt so many emotions as he walked inside and got a closer look at him. He noticed a bruise on his face he had not seen before. He also was not used to seeing a beard on his face. He sat down and looked at the heart monitor. It seemed normal to him now unlike earlier. He was receiving oxygen via a nasal cannula. He looked at his hands and noticed they were still slightly trembling. "Fucking bastards," he cursed quietly at those that did this to him.

He took his hand in his, holding it steady. "Greg, I don't even know what to say. I just need you and you're scaring the shit out of me again. I've thought I've lost you too many times over the years. I just finally got you back and this happens. And now you have a heart attack…I'm so scared." He could not be strong anymore. He started crying. "I need you, I need you so much. Please don't leave me." He dropped his head and cried.

He thought he felt the hand in his move more than it had been. He looked up and saw Greg looking at him with half-mast eyes. "Hey, you're awake." He nodded a little. "Don't cry," he whispered so softly he barely heard it. Nick half-cried, half-laughed at hearing him speak.

"I'm sorry. It's just been a really rough three weeks, you know," Nick said to him. "I know…trust me," the other man replied very quietly again. "I know. I wish I could make it all go away. I wish we could start over way from the start and none of this happened since that night in the alley."

"Yeah, me too," Greg sighed. "Are you staying?" he asked Nick. "If they allow me to, I will." Greg nodded that he understood. He closed his eyes. Nick did not say any more. He let him go back to sleep.

He sat there for a while before a nurse came in. She asked him if he wanted a pillow. They were not going to kick him out. He took the pillow offer. After she brought it, he tried to get comfortable in the chair and closed his own eyes. At least he would be there when Greg woke up again. He did not want him to wake up feeling alone or scared.

Nick woke up a couple hours later from the vibration of his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at who was calling. It was D.B. Russell. Nick quickly got up and walked out of the room to take the call. "Hey Russell, what's up?"

"I wanted to check in and see how Greg was doing." Nick sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "He had a heart attack here at the hospital. He's going to be okay but the doctors are concerned since they don't know about his drug he was given. Do you have any idea on what was going on down there?"

"It's crazy Nick. They have a variety of medications they were using on various patients. Most were good ones, to try to cure diseases. Apparently though, they had some contract with some foreign country to work in torture drugs. That would be what Greg had been referring to. Our guys are still trying to go through the lab to see what might this serum Greg was given was made up of. It appears Josef Wilenstein was given the same stuff. It appears Greg somehow tricked him to escape and might have been the one to inject him. There are no cameras down here so we would have to go by what we are told. You'll have to get more from Greg when you can,' Russell told him.

Nick looked back through the window at Greg. He still looked so fraile. "It's going to have to wait a little. I am not risking his life after this heart attack. Don't you understand? The doctors don't know if he will get worse or better since they don't know what was given to him. If he wants to talk, he will but I am not going to pressure him to," Nick told Russell.

"I understand Nick. I don't want to jeopardize his life either. Look, I'm going to head home and get some sleep. I will stop by the hospital before work tomorrow. I need to check on all the other patients who also are there now from the secret lab. They might be able to help us too, if they are able to get them out of the comas."

Nick had forgotten about the others. "Are they all here?" "No, some are at Las Vegas Health too. I'll be stopping there too. I'll let you go now. I really hope Greg will be okay."

"Thanks Russell. I hope so too," Nick said as he gazed back at Greg in the hospital bed.


	22. Chapter 22

He woke from a jolt of pain through his body. He thought for a moment he might be having another heart attack but it was not in his chest. "Greg? Are you okay? Should I get the doctor?" he heard from the side of him. He turned his head and saw Nick sitting upright in the chair, looking very concerned. He shook his head in response. "It's just a shooting pain."

"Last time you had one of those it ended up turning into a heart attack." Greg looked away from him. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry," Nick said to him. Greg was not feeling up to any discussions. Thankfully he did not have to worry as his doctor walked into the room.

"Hello Mr. Sanders. I see you are awake. I would like to ask you some questions. I am Dr. Brown. How do you feel?" The doctor asked him. "Like I was hit by a truck that backed up over me and ran over me again," Greg said dryly.

Dr. Brown was slightly amused by his answer. "I see, so how much pain are you in on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst." Greg sighed but really thought about it. He was in much worse pain in the lab. "I guess about a six right now."

"Is it all over or worse in certain areas?" Greg looked at his trembling hand. "Mostly all over right now."

Dr. Brown noticed him looking at his hand shaking. "You had shaking prior to this due to PTSD, according to your records. Is this shaking much worse?" Greg nodded. "Yes, it's all over, not just my hands," he said sadly. He was really beginning to think he had permanent damage.

"We will do some more testing to see if there is permanent nerve damage or not but we will wait a day or two. Can you tell me about the doses you were given and your reactions to them?" Dr. Brown asked him.

"The first one was large. I guess I had a seizure from it. I only remember waking up and trembling and the pain. The next one was about 24 hours later, I think. It was less. It still caused me to jolt in horrible pain but it did not cause me to lose consciousness. The last one I got was larger than the previous one. They wanted to see how far they could take it. It was much worse and still is lingering, so it seems. I wish there was something you could give me for the pain," he told them.

"I know, but we don't want to take any chances of giving you something and it interacting poorly. They only thing we can do it Tylenol right now. I know it's not as strong as you would like but since you went into cardiac arrest, we don't want to go too much.

"We'll take good care of you, Greg. I promise. We just don't want to make things worse," the doctor told him.

Greg nodded, even as tears came to his eyes. "Fine," he said softly. "I've also contacted Dr. Muller. He will be visiting you within the next 48 hours." Greg just replied with a small sounding okay. He looked out towards the window as he tried but failed to hold back tears.

"I'm going to let you get some more rest now. I'll have the nurse come in and increase your pain medication a little bit. Just try not to worry too much." Greg thought that was easy for him to say. He was not the one in massive pain and shaking half the time.

Nick had sat completely silent during the whole doctor's visit. The doctor had acknowledged him with a nod on the way out. Greg still had his head turned away from him, but he could hear him quietly sobbing. Greg had to know he was still in the room. He did not know what to say to him anymore. He obviously did not want to talk to him. Maybe he should just leave, he thought to himself.

He was about to say he would leave him alone, when he saw Greg stretch out his hand towards him. He looked down at his trembling hand and took it in his. He looked up and the red tear-filled eyes of his lover were looking at him. "I need you more than ever to get me through this because I'm not sure I can do it on my own."

The look in his eyes crushed Nick. He looked so pained emotionally and physically. "You're going to get through this. You are going to be fine."

Greg looked at him woefully. "Nick, I have not been fine in 7 years. I've been barely scratching by each day." Nick looked dejected. "Even since you've been living with me again?" The younger man frowned. "I should amend that. The only time recently I've been good has been since I moved back in with you. This is why I said I need you. I'm scared, Nick. I had a fucking heart attack. I'm in constant pain. I can't stop trembling. Is this going to be my life now? I can never work like this! I'm still on parole! What am I going to do?" Nick could hear the panic in his voice. He noticed his hand was shaking more than ever. He could hear his heart monitor beep increasing.

"Greg, we don't know anything for sure. This pain and trembling could still be temporary. Right now you just have to calm down. You look like you're going into a panic attack. You need to practice your breathing or whatever helps you. Please, I don't want to see you have another heart attack," Nick said with much concern.

A nurse came rushing in. "What's going on here?" She asked since the heart monitor had spiked to a level they had the alarm set to. "He's just upset about his health and I am trying to tell him we have to believe he's going to be better, but I think he's starting to have an anxiety attack," Nick told her.

She told Greg he had to try to relax. She said she had something to help him with his pain. She pulled a syringe out of her pocket and when he saw it he started to freak out more. "It's not going to hurt you, Greg. It's to make you feel better," Nick tried telling him, as he squeezed his hand tighter. But the tortured man just saw another needle going to cause him harm.

Nick placed his other hand on Greg's face. Greg turned to him. He looked so scared and it just broke his heart. "Just look at me. I won't let any harm come to you again. Just look at me, Greg." Nick nodded for the nurse with the syringe. She was not even going to put it in his arm. She simply added it to his IV drip. She nodded a thank you to Nick, who was managing to keep Greg somewhat calmer.

She was stepping away by the time Greg looked again. "I didn't feel anything," he said to her. "That's because I didn't inject you with anything." He looked at the IV and realized she had put whatever it was in there. He was starting to feel more relaxed and sleepy though. The pain seemed to be getting less, along with the shaking. "What did you give me?" He asked her.

"It's just a strong dose of Tylenol PM, nothing more. It'll help you sleep some. You need more rest." She turned around and pointed to Nick. "And you should really get some real sleep and a shower too." Nick ended up smiling. "Yes Ma'am." She smiled back and left the room. Greg's heart rate had already slowed down to a normal level.

Greg narrowed his eyes at Nick. "You let her drug me." Nick pursed his lips. "You're not freaking out anymore, are you? So it worked." Greg pouted. He supposed it was working. He decided to change the subject.

"When was the last time you were home?" he asked the CSI. "I'm here for you," Nick simply replied. "You look like shit," Greg smirked.

Nick was not sure if the medicine was kicking in already or Greg was riding one of his mood waves, either way he was glad he seemed to be better suddenly. "When you fall asleep, I will go home and at least shower but I'm coming back here after and sleeping in this chair. I'm not leaving you out of my sight for long."

"I'm not going to do anything, except lay in this bed for a few more days, I feel," Greg sighed. "They need to make sure you aren't going to have another major side effect." Nick told him.

"I know," he said quietly. The temporary somewhat better mood seemed to be fading. Nick gazed at him. "I love you no matter what, you know that right?" Greg held his gaze. "Yes, I do. That's why I said I need you."

"You got me." He decided to prove it by getting up and kissing him on the lips. When he pulled back, he saw that Greg had a small smile on his face. "I needed that." Nick rubbed his fingers over Greg's beard that had grown while he was being held. "You look so much older with this on your face." Greg reached up and rubbed his beard. "You don't like it?"

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Only if you like it." Greg was still feeling it. "Nah, I already feel older, I don't need to look older too." Nick nodded. "We'll see if we can get you a shave tomorrow. I think it's time you get some more sleep and I get home to take a shower," Nick said to him as he sat back down.

Greg wrinkled his nose. "Smells like a good idea to me." He smiled and it warmed Nick's heart. His mood swings were crazy but he was glad to see a part of him still able to be humorous. Maybe it was the medication he was currently on but he did not care, it was just nice to see.

"Fine, but I'm not leaving until you are asleep. So close your eyes and just try to relax." Greg shrugged a little and closed his eyes. "Good night, Nick," he whispered.

"Good Night, Greg."

Nick walked into the hospital and towards the elevators, after his shower at home and a brief nap. He heard his name called out and turned around. He saw Russell walking towards him. "You look somewhat refreshed," his former leader commented.

"Yeah, I just came from home. Greg told me I looked like hell and needed to freshen up," he chuckled. "He's in better spirits then?" Russell asked.

Nick shrugged. "It's hit or miss, honestly. But I can't blame him, he's been through so much. I just want to be there for him."

"Have you had a chance to talk to him more about his time there?" Russell asked. Nick shook his head. "He was too worked up yesterday when he spoke to his doctor. I didn't think it was a good time to bring up more. I think I will try today. I know his psychiatrist will be seeing him today or tomorrow. That should help some too. What about all the other people that were down there? What is their status?"

Russell sighed. "None of them have woken up yet. The doctors here are not sure the exact medicine that was used to put them in the comas. They are hoping if they are on regular IV's here that eventually they will come out of it naturally."

"Have they found this Dr. Frankenstein yet?" Nick asked him. Russell smirked. "Nice name." Nick smiled. "Greg called him that since his real last name was complicated. I think it is appropriate."

"Glad he had some humor about the situation," Russell smiled. "He tries. I'm going to go now. I promised him I would be there when he woke up. Hopefully he has not woken up yet."

"Okay, I'll keep in touch. I know some of the others asked about him. I will let them know. Take care of the both of you, Nick," Russell said with a serious look before heading down the hall.

Nick got upstairs and saw that Greg was still asleep. He took the seat next to the bed again and relaxed. He decided to try to get some more sleep while Greg was.

He was startled awake by hearing his name. He opened his eyes and saw Greg looking at him. "I can't reach the water, can you give it to me?" he asked him.

"Sure." Nick grabbed the cup of water with the straw and handed it to him. Greg took it. He brought the straw up to his lips. Nick could not help but notice the tremble still in his hand as he tried to hold it still. Nick wanted to help him but he figured he would ask for help if he wanted it. He did not want to make him feel like an invalid.

Greg handed the cup back to Nick. "Thanks, I needed that. My throat has been so dry." He looked up and down Nick. "Sorry I woke you up but you look more rested."

"I feel more rested. The shower did feel really good." Greg nodded. "I bet it did." Nick frowned. "I am sure you will be able to take one very soon."

"I have to gain back some of my strength before they will let me do much of anything. I still feel weak," he told Nick.

"What about the pain? How is it now?" Greg looked thoughtful a moment. "It's not that bad right now. It's there but bearable."

"That's good?" Nick was not sure if he would think it was or not. Greg nodded. "Yeah, it is good, I guess. I mean I don't know if it is due to the medication or just wearing off. I do hope it is the latter."

"I hope so too, for your sake." The voice was not Nick's. They both looked towards the door and saw Dr. Muller. "Hello Greg…Nick. I saw that you were awake so figured I would stop in now."

"Hi Doc Muller. I bet you didn't expect anything like this to happen," Greg said to him as he spread his arms out. "No, I can't say I did."

He turned to Nick. "Nice to see you Nick. Do you mind if I spend some time with Greg alone? It won't be too long. I have to see another patient in about 30 minutes."

Nick looked at Greg, who just shrugged. "Sure, I'm going to grab something to eat at the cafeteria. I'll be back."

Dr. Muller waited for Nick to leave before taking over his seat. "So Greg, tell me…how are you really?" He knew his patient very well and could tell when he was acting like all was fine.

Greg's demeanor became more somber. "I'm struggling. I'm scared. I don't know why everything goes wrong for me."

"Why are you scared Greg?" This was always how Dr. Muller was with him. He talked very little while Greg did most of the talking.

"I'm shaking all the time now. I have this constant pain. I had a fucking heart attack. I mean…I'm still in my 30's. How am I going to live the rest of my life like this? If I'm shaking all the time, how can I do a real job? Then what's going to happen with my parole if I can't work. I mean it's just all falling apart." He wiped at the tears that were falling from his eyes. He had not been afraid to be himself in front of Dr. Muller in a few years. It was the only time he did not have to hide his fears and regrets.

Dr. Muller leaned forward. "Greg, you are thinking too far ahead again. You don't know that the shaking and pain won't eventually go away. And as for the job, you now have extenuating circumstances. Greg, your parole officer will not hold this against you. And right now, I can see you are on the verge of an anxiety attack thinking about all of this. That is not good for your heart. You have heart disease in your family, Greg. With all the stress you've had in your life, I hate to say it, a heart attack was possible. Right now, you need to calm down. Do what you can do in bed here. I'm not going to talk anymore until you get your heart beat regular again."

Greg closed his eyes and tried to calm all his fears. He knew his doctor was right. He was thinking too far ahead about things that might never happen. He could not help it though, everything seemed to be going so well and then he became a literal lab rat. He wiped away some more tears. His doctor watched him very closely as he took slow, deep breaths.

About a minute later, Greg opened his eyes again and looked at his doctor. "Now what?" Dr. Muller looked serious. "Now you need to just take this day by day and not worry about what tomorrow might bring. You're alive Greg. You are a fighter. I heard you managed to somehow break free from that lab. You have come too far to go back down again. I know right now you are more emotional since you have been off your medication for a few weeks. I'm going to re-introduce it to your system. That is the first step. For now, I want to know if you think you might try to harm yourself."

Greg's eyes opened wide. He shook his head. "No, no. I'm just…I just frustrated and wish I could catch a break," he sighed heavily.

"I would say having Nick back in your life and so strongly by your side is a break. You never expected that, I know." Greg looked up at him and gave a crooked smile. "No, I didn't expect to be back in his life. I thought we were done. He's my bright spot. I told him I need him to pull me through this. I might be in a different head space if it was not for him."

"Then lean on him. I know he won't mind. If you need someone else, call me. You know you can always call me. I know you are a good person who's had bad things happen to you. I don't want to see you ever get like the way you were when we first met in prison."

Greg stared at him. "I remember that person. I don't want to be him again either. It's just going to be hard if these health issues do not go away."

"It'll be hard, but you've been through the worst. You have someone who loves you and wants to help you. There are things that can help your current issues if they continue. It's not the end of the world," Dr. Muller told him.

Greg sighed again. "I know. I know. I suppose we will need to increase our visits for a while."

"I think it would be a good idea. I'll see you again before they release you. In the meantime, you know how to reach me. Don't be afraid to talk to Nick too. He will understand."

Greg nodded. He knew he could trust Nick; he just did not want to burden him more.

"Thanks for stopping by Doc."

"I wish you the best. Talk to you soon." Greg watched Dr. Muller leave the room. He felt a bit calmer and less stressed. He had not even realized his hands were not shaking at that moment.


	23. Chapter 23

Dr. Muller stopped to talk to Nick a moment on his way out. "How's he doing?" Nick asked right away.

"He's been better. He's going to need you, you know that, right? The question is are you going to be able to handle his needs?" Dr. Muller did not want to pressure him but wanted to know how he might deal with it all.

"I'm not even sure what his needs are right now. I mean we still don't know if his current condition is permanent or not. I am praying it is still temporary," Nick told him.

"I know, so am I. But are you prepared if he does end up having this constant pain and tremors? His fears are valid. Work for him might be difficult if it is permanent. It will be harder to control his depression if he has these added worries. I'm still not even sure how what happened to him in that lab will affect his PTSD. Do you think you can handle him if it's worse? I ask because you can also get help. You don't have to do it on your own, as you seem to think," the doctor told him.

"I have to. He has no one else," Nick responded. "That's not what I asked, Nick."

Nick looked through the window and could see Greg looking out towards the window. "I have my family. They were his family too…are his family. He just has not gotten to that point yet again to believe that. But I know they will help me if needed. I also have friends at work who will help me. I love him, so I will do whatever I need to do, even if I have to see you," he smirked, knowing that was one of the things the doctor was wanting to hear.

Dr. Muller smiled in response. "Yes, I would be open to seeing you if you need or maybe even joint sessions could happen. I just know right now he is scared and I can't blame him. Life has been unfair to him and he is having a hard time dealing with it right now. He may try to act like he's doing okay but trust me, right now it is an act. Don't call him out on it though. Just try to get him to feel that he doesn't need to be strong around you. I think he feels like if he shows weakness, you will just pity him. I know that's not what you would be doing but to him, because of what he went through in prison, that is how he will feel. His emotions are complicated. I am sure you have discovered that."

"Yes, I certainly have recently. He's changed a lot but I think a lot of it is good. He has a strength in him that was not there as much before. He somehow tricked this Josef and got free from his restraints. I still have not asked him about it but I know that he struggled but managed it and was able to get up there stairs to pound on that door for me to hear," Nick told him.

"He grew a lot in those last few years in prison. He learned to put up the good fight and not give in. He did still show that with this, you are right. That is what will get him through this, with your help. Just remind him of that. And if you are worried, he's not suicidal. He's depressed but not to that point. That is something on the plus side too. You stick with him, he'll get through this too. I really need to go now, but he has my number if you need to call. Take good care of him and yourself, Nick."

Nick said goodbye to him and then looked in on Greg again. He was looking at him with a quizzical look on his face. Nick smiled at him and went inside.

"You two were talking for some time there. Did he say I was messed up?" Greg said to him as he walked in. Nick shook his head and kissed him.

"You are not messed up. You've been through a lot and just need some TLC. I just wish you would tell me more and not try to protect me from your feelings. We are in this together," Nick told him.

Greg stared at him a moment. Nick Stokes, his handsome, dark haired Texan was right. He did need some TLC after this ordeal. He wished he could have Nick hold him in his warm arms right now. He could really have used that. Instead he held out his hand for Nick to take it, which he did. "I'm going to try, I promise. I can't let my fears eat me up again."

"How do you feel right now, physically?" Nick asked him.

Greg suddenly noticed he was not shaking. His eyes opened wider. "I'm not shaking! Maybe…maybe it is wearing off," he said with a bit of excitement in his voice.

"Pain?" Nick questioned. Greg did not seem as excited anymore. "Still hurt all over but not as horribly."

"Is it livable pain?" Nick wondered. "You mean like live the rest of my life feeling like this? Hard to say since I have not been mobile or moved much to see how I feel then."

A nurse came in with a tray of food. "Oh thank God! I'm starving," Greg said as the nurse placed the food tray on his bed table. Nick did not think it looked too appetizing. Greg did not seem to care. He really must have been hungry since he seemed to devour the food, with barely a word to him during that time. Nick just played on his cell phone, responding to some work emails.

Greg looked up at Nick after he was done. He looked apologetic. "Sorry but I really was hungry. I have not had real food in a few weeks. This was my first meal. Freaking IV's don't get your stomach full feeling, you know what I mean?"

Nick smiled. Greg having an appetite was always a good sign. "It's okay. I understand. I'm glad to see you eat." Greg pushed the tray table away. He could see Nick was wanting to ask him something.

"What's on your mind?" Nick hoped after eating a meal he would be up to talking about his time in the lab. "I was really hoping you could tell me about how you got down in the lab and how you escaped."

"Okay. I can tell you. You know you wanted me to look around, so I was. I was not finding anything. I was on the bottom floor, using the restroom when I tossed the paper toweling I used to dry my hands and it landed on the floor, by the wall. I bent down and placed my hand against the wall to balance myself when suddenly the tile moved and this doorway opened. I go down this stairway and see all these hospital beds. Shortly thereafter I was knocked out." He continued to tell him how he woke up and they told him what they were going to do with him. He skimmed a bit over the times they gave him the drug, since he had already talked about that.

Nick noticed an overall tremble to his body the more he talked about it. It was almost like it was psycho somatic. "Do you need more pain medication?" Nick decided to ask him. Greg suddenly seemed to realize he had been shaking again. His pain really was not worse, it was basically the same.

Greg's big eyes looked at Nick. "No, but…" he looked at his shaking hands again and closed his eyes. "I don't know if it's being caused by the nerve medication or if I'm just so screwed up in my head that I shake all the time." Nick could hear the emotions in his voice.

"They'll figure it out. And if it is due to your PTSD, we'll work on it. You're not alone anymore. I'm here for you." Greg opened his eyes again but they were still downcast.

Nick had to get him talking again. "Tell me how you got free."

"Oh. Yeah right. So I had been really thirsty, because they never gave me anything to drink. I had started asking the kid, Josef for water every once in a while when he was alone with me. I sized him up and figured I might have a chance in a fight against him. Since I was in this bed, tied down, he had to lift my head slightly when I drank water. He said he didn't want me to choke on the water. That gave me an idea. When I woke up that morning, I knew I could not deal with another dose and I had to try to do something. It had to be better than not trying at all. So I asked him for water again. Once he started giving me the water, I acted like it went down the wrong way and was choking on it, his fear. He said if I died on his watch, they would have his head. Since my movement was limited, he undid my one wrist restraint. He tried to tilt me over but I continued with the act. I continued until he had me completely free. Then I gathered up as much strength as I could and elbowed him in the gut. He went over and then and I put him in a choke hold. I thought I had him until he managed to elbow me also and I lost my grip on him. He managed to pin me down and punch me. He had not noticed when I had knocked over the table in the struggle that the syringe with the serum they were giving me was on it. It fell and I managed to grab it. I injected him with it before he knocked me out. He started freaking out about having it injected into him and basically stopped caring what I was doing. I somehow struggled to the stairs and up them. I just remember being super disappointed to see I would not be able to open the door, so I decided to pound on it. I guess my luck came that you were there and heard it. I thought for sure they would find out the ruckus I created and find me and tie me down again. I really don't think my body could have withstood another dose. Now especially knowing I had a heart attack without one as it was."

Nick gazed at Greg in awe. He noticed the expression on his face. "What? What's wrong?" Greg asked him.

"You amaze me, you really do. Do you know how much courage it took to do what you did? You didn't give up. Just like you did not give up in prison after all you went through," Nick told him, with pride.

Greg seemed a little embarrassed. "I just did what I had to do to survive. It's not that big of a deal."

"Maybe not to you but as I see it, it is. You were shaking and in pain and yet somehow managed all that." Greg shrugged in response. "I guess."

Nick's expression turned more serious. "What was worse; your prison time or this being a real lab rat?"

Greg looked away a moment in thought. It did not take long for him to answer. He turned back to Nick. "Prison…definitely. This was scary and painful but what happened to me in prison over time, truly broke me. The abuse was mental, physical, and sexual. Plus it was over a much longer period of time. Granted this probably would have killed me sooner but not by my choice. I still wanted to live. You know there was the time in prison I no longer wanted to live."

"I know," Nick said softly as he looked down at his hand holding Greg's. He looked up at him, his eyes a little shiny. "You still want to live, right?"

Greg clutched Nick's hand tighter. "Yes, I do. I just rather it not be in pain or shaking for the rest of it. I love you Nick. You are stuck with me, like it or not," he gave a crooked smile.

"There is no one I rather be stuck with." His cell phone suddenly rang. He looked at who was calling and saw it was Russell. He put up his finger, to motion to Greg that he was going to step out a moment. His partner nodded that he was okay with it.

Nick took the call outside. "Hey Russell, what's up?" "Dr. Wilenstein has been found and arrested. They are going to want an official statement from Greg at some time," Russell told him.

"No worries, I got him talking today. He told me all that happened that we already did not know. Supposedly our dead body was the person they previously tested this torture serum on. They gave him too much and he died. That is why Greg was petrified to get out of there and figured out a way to break free. It's quite an amazing story."

"I hope one day I can hear it from him," Russell told him. "Oh and you might end up having some visitors soon. I'll talk to you later." With that he hung up.

"Visitors? He can't just drop that like that," he said aloud to himself. He wondered who it could be. He looked and saw Greg looking at him through the window. He thought he better get back inside and tell him the good news.

"News about the case?" Greg asked him as he entered the room with a smile on his face. "Why yes. They have caught Dr. Frankenstein and arrested him. He is in custody right now." Relief showed on the younger man's face. "That's good to know…truly."

Nick heard someone come in behind him. He turned around and saw the nurse holding some things. "Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting but I heard Mr. Sanders would like a shave." Greg smiled. "Yes, please. I am not a beard kind of guy in any way." Nick caught the smirk on his face, knowing what he meant in any way. He just shook his head and chuckled some.

"While you are getting a shave, I need to step out and make a couple more phone calls. I'll be back after," Nick told him. Greg just shooed him away with his hand. He really did want this beard gone but glad someone else was going to do it for him now since his hands were still shaky.

Nick decided it was time to call Sherriff Ecklie. "Sheriff it's Nick….Thanks I am glad he is back too. He still is having affects from that drug they injected him with. Doctors are running tests still to see. I know he is going in for an MRI later on. …Yeah, I was calling to ask for more time off. I know I still have a lot of vacation days. Is it okay if I take at least the rest of the week off? …I know I am putting you shorthanded but he needs me right now. …Yes, I know. …Okay, thank you so much. And thanks for wishing him well. I will let him know." Nick knew he needed to be there for Greg until he was back home again. He was hoping he would only be in the hospital another day or two. He hoped he would not have to extend his vacation too much since he knew his shift was already short on people.

He looked back in and saw the nurse was almost done with his face. He could see the bruise more pronounced now that the facial hair was gone. Still, he looked younger clean shaven. The beard really did not work for him. Of course, Greg thought the same about him with a beard. He waited outside until the nurse was coming out. She advised him that they would be taking Greg in for the MRI in about an hour. He might in there a while, so it would be up to him if he wanted to wait around.

Nick went into the room and smiled at Greg, who was rubbing his hands over his smooth face. "Feels nice?" he asked him. Greg nodded. "Yeah, my face was kind of scratchy. How do I look? Like hell still?"

Nick shook his head. "No, you look much better. Although that bruise is standing out more. Was that from Josef Wilenstein?" Greg sighed. "Yeah, but shortly after I got him with the needle. Do you know how he is doing?"

Nick looked more serious now. "Last I heard he was still unconscious and he kept having seizures." Greg looked down at his hands that were still trembling some. "I know he was thinner build than me and that is saying a lot but I didn't think it was that much larger of a dose. They were going to give that to me. It would have been the fourth dose. I really do think it could have killed me."

"Then I am glad you got free when you did." Wanting to change the depressing subject some, Nick asked about the MRI. "Yeah, I guess they are taking me in an hour or so. We shall see what they say, if I have permanent nerve damage or what."

"I'm going to be praying it's temporary. But if it is permanent, I am here to help you in any way I can," Nick reassured him.

Greg smiled a little at him. "I know. I know you are. I love you for never giving up on me."

"And I never will!"


	24. Chapter 24

Nick was in Greg's room, waiting on him to come back from his MRI scan. Nick was hoping for the best and that there was not any permanent damage, even though he knew it was a good possibility. He knew if there was it would probably worsen the depression that his love did suffer from. The only good thing that hopefully they could treat it so he would not suffer as badly.

He heard a knock on the door and turned to see several friendly faces. He waved them in. "What are you all doing here?" he asked the group of Greg's former co-workers from the Crime Lab.

"We thought we might try to cheer Greg up and show we still care with a visit. Where is he?" Henry asked as he looked at the empty bed.

"Well, they took him a little while ago for an MRI to see if there is permanent nerve damage and to get a better look at his heart too," Nick told them.

Henry, Hodges, Doc. Robbins and Mandy all were there. He saw Russell hanging in the back. "I appreciate you all being here but you might have to wait a while. Plus, I think it would be better if you came a few minutes after he returns. I mean if they have bad news for him, he might not be up for visitors, especially you all. I know you all still care but he's just sensitive to how he shut everyone out and feels guilty about it now. He's afraid to see everyone again, if I'm to be honest. I am sure once he does see you all and realize how much you care, he will get over it. Are you all able to wait like in the cafeteria here until I message you that the coast is clear? I understand if you can't wait around. I just think it will be overwhelming for him to come back from the MRI and deal with you all immediately." Nick told them.

Russell stepped forward. "I think we can wait around for a little while at least. Right everyone?" he asked his crew. They all nodded that they could. "Great! Nick, just text me when to come back or if we should just try another time."

"I'll do that. Thank you all for being understanding," Nick smiled with appreciation. He watched them walk off. He smiled to himself. He was happy they wanted to visit him. He really did think this was something that Greg needed. He needed to see that he did not only have him. He had others who still cared. He just hoped that his mood when he came back would not be too sour and he would have to send them away.

It was about another ten minutes when they came back with Greg in a wheelchair. Greg told him they were having him walk some to and from the bathroom at least with help. His legs had been weak from being laid up for a few weeks. They were going to have him walk more and do some physical therapy so he could go home soon and get around on his own again. They did not anticipate it taking long.

Greg was quiet when the nurse wheeled him in. Nick was not able to read if he was depressed with the news or just tired. Once the nurse helped him back in his bed, she said the doctor would be in soon with his results.

Nick looked at Greg, who sat stoically. "So how was it?" he asked him.

Greg shrugged. "It's not fun being in that little tube, not knowing what they do and don't see. I guess we'll find out soon if the pain will be permanent or not."

"You hurting right now?" Nick asked him. Greg nodded. "Yeah, some. It's kind of like always there now, you know what I mean. It's not horrible right now but times it is worse than others." Hearing Greg say that, he was believing maybe it was not going to be good news he got but at least he seemed to feel better about it.

Dr. Brown walked in and said hello to Nick, as he took his position at the foot of the bed. "So we've gone over your results. It does appear that there is some minor nerve damage. What that means is you will still probably continue to have some pain and trembles, but it should be nothing nearly as bad as you had it when you first came in. I believe you already have noticed it has calmed down some.

"All this being said, there is medication we can give you to treat the pain. We will first try medications that are used for Fiberomyalgia patients, as that is kind of similar to what you are suffering from. If that does not work, we will try other pain medications. It is also possible it could get better overtime. There is always the possibility of it repairing itself."

Greg just nodded as he took in all the information. He had already prepared himself for the worst and so far it was not sounding as bad as he prepared for.

The doctor continued. "As for your heart, seeing as you do have heart disease in your family but you are not showing any signs of that, I think as long as you keep your stress and blood pressure under control, you will be okay. You heart was strained from the medication you had been receiving. Now that it is out of your system, things look a lot better. You'll want to continue those meditation practices Dr. Muller has taught you. They really do work to help relieve stress. It could have been worse results. I do believe even though your nerves show some permanent damage, it is minor and should not hinder your abilities to hold a job. Hopefully the medications will help even more with your trembling and pain. Now that we know your heart is okay, we will start you on some of that medication to see how it goes. Do you have any questions?"

Greg could not think of any. It was what it was. He had no choice in the matter of his ailments. Nick looked at him and saw his expression had not changed much. He did have questions for the doctor though.

"Do you know when he came come home?" he asked. "Ahh, yes. We will work on his getting him walking more in the next day. I think he can probably go home in a couple of days, if all goes well. It's just a matter of getting some more of his strength back and making sure he does not have any strong reactions to the new medications. That's why we want to start him on it right away. The nurse will come in soon to give you the pills. Do you have any questions, Greg?"

Greg shrugged again. "Not really. I had a feeling it would be permanent. Not much more I can do than hope the medications work." He seemed resigned to the fact.

Nick looked at him with a bit of concern but let it go, hoping seeing his former co-workers did cheer him up some. "Will we be told the possible side-effects of the medications he will be taking?"

"Of course, the nurse will explain it when he gives them to him. Hopefully nothing to be too concerned with will happen. But again, this is why we will keep him at least one more full day to see if anything reacts poorly with his system. Usually these medications rarely have side effects.

"That being said, I have other patients to see. Greg, I will check in with you before I leave for the day. Nick, just let me know if you have more questions come up."

Nick thanked him and waited for him to leave before speaking to Greg. "Are you sure you are okay with all this?"

Greg looked slightly annoyed at him. "What choice do I really have, Nick? It is what it is. I had a feeling it would end up being somewhat permanent. I mean at least it's not as bad as it was before. But apparently I'm just going to have to live with being in some kind of pain for the rest of my life. The shaking, well I was already dealing with that pretty much. What more do you want me to say?"

Nick sighed. "I guess there is nothing else to say." He acted like his phone vibrated and put up a finger to excuse himself a moment while he checked his phone. He needed to text Russell that it was time for some cheering up. He really hoped Greg would be happy to see them and not mad or upset.

He turned back to Greg after sending the text. "Well, at least you can go home in a couple days hopefully." Greg's face brightened up a little at that. "Yes, I really miss being home. I just want to sleep in our bed again." Nick felt good hearing him say 'our' bed.

"Yes, and I look forward to our bed too," Nick chuckled. Greg frowned. "I said you could go home and get some sleep. You don't have to be here every minute."

Greg saw someone out of the corner of his eyes at the door. His eyes opened wide when the door opened and he saw half of his former lab rats.

"Hey, we heard you could use some new visitors. You must be sick of this guy," Mandy said to him while pointing to Nick. Nick looked at Greg and noticed he seemed speechless but in a good way.

"Cat got your tongue there, Sanders?" Hodges prodded in typical fashion.

Greg could hardly believe they were there to see him. He felt emotions come over him. "You're here to see me?"

"Sure we are Greg. We've missed you and thought you could see some old friends," Henry told him with a big smile.

Greg felt himself getting choked up. He could not believe they would want to see him after he avoided all attempts at contact for so many years, even after being out of prison. It did not seem right. He did not deserve them to care. "No, you shouldn't be here," he said as he shook his head and looked away.

Nick looked at the shocked faces of the others and quietly motioned them that he needed a moment alone with Greg. They stepped out and closed the door. Nick leaned over and grabbed Greg's trembling hands. "Hey, look at me." When he turned his head, he had tears flowing down his face.

"Babe, why shouldn't they be here? They still care about you, don't you get it? Everyone believed you were innocent. No one thought you deserved to serve time."

"Yeah, but I shut them out like I shut you out. I don't get why they aren't angry with me?" he sniffled.

"Maybe they were angry at one time, but that has long passed. Don't think they are not aware of what happened to you in prison. They know you suffered. You are suffering again. They just want to show their support for you," Nick told him.

The door opened and in walked a stranger to Greg but not to Nick. "Excuse me, but I was wondering if I could have a word with you Greg." Greg looked at the tall, white haired man with glasses. "I don't know you."

"Ah, but see I feel like I know you so well. You are much loved to those people out there. I heard about you since I came to that lab. You still have a presence there," the man told him. Greg looked questioningly to Nick and then back at the older man.

"Oh I'm sorry. I have not introduced myself. My name is D.B. Russell. I believe you might recognize my name from Nick." Greg eyes showed the recognition now of the name. "Yes, Nick has talked highly of you. Sorry I'm not living up to my reviews," Greg said sheepishly.

Russell smiled though. "I would not say that. I know you've been through a lot and this is tough. We," he motioned to those looking through the window, "just thought you could stand to see some friendly faces. They all were part of the investigation to find you. They were eager to help and just want to celebrate you being alive."

Greg wiped away the tears on his face. "God, Hodges is going to make fun of me for crying now," he said with a groan. Nick smiled. "Probably, but you know that is how he shows he cares, otherwise he would not be here."

Greg rolled his eyes. "Tell them to come back in," he sighed. He was going to have to suck up any embarrassment he caused himself.

Russell and Nick waved them inside. They all came in slowly. "It's okay everyone," Nick told them as they looked to him and then Greg. Greg was finding it difficult to make eye contact with them.

Someone made a noise, like a tisk. "Really Sanders? Crying over us?" It was Hodges to break the ice. Suddenly Greg laughed, along with Nick. Hodges looked confused. "What?"

"Same old Hodges," Greg said to him, finally smiling. Hodges looked a bit annoyed but then changed to a smile. "Someone has to call out the obvious, it might as well be me. We aren't here to give you a pity party." The others all agreed with him.

Greg finally looked at all of them. They all seemed to be waiting for him to speak. "I know. It's just been a long time since I've seen all of you and it's not easy given the circumstances."

"We just want you to know that we miss you and still care about what happens to you. Luckily we got Nick to keep us filled in," Henry said. "Yeah Greg. We are still your friends, if you allow us to be," Mandy told him.

"Not me. I just came to see if there were any hot nurses around," Hodges said with a sarcastic smile. Greg shook his head, but smiled. He knew Hodges would never admit they were friends but they had worked together long enough to appreciate each other's work. "I'm sure you are, Hodges."

Russell looked at Nick and saw how lovingly he gazed at Greg. He was happy he was able to help find him and make Nick happy again too.

The others got closer and started talking about the changes at the lab with Greg. They were telling him how they could not stand the new DNA tech, Danny. They said he tried to be funny but never was. They said he was not crazy and funny like Greg was and yet still amazing at his job. Hearing all the praise from his former co-workers made him happy and yet made him sad that he would never be able to work with them again there.

After about 15 minutes of visiting, they could see Greg was getting tired. Greg thanked all of them and said he would not be a stranger anymore. He promised to keep in touch with them. All but Hodges, he had added with a wink.

Russell told Greg it was nice to finally meet him and Greg said the same back to him. Once they were all gone, Nick remained.

"That was not so bad now, was it?" He asked the patient. "No, it was pretty nice. But it kind of makes me sad too, knowing I won't ever be able to work with them again. I miss the family feel we all had there. I don't think I will get that at any other place."

"Perhaps not, but it does take time to develop more personal relationship with co-workers if you and they are willing." Nick told him.

"Yeah I know." He squeezed Nick's hand. "Thanks for always being there for me. But right now, I am tired. Do you mind if I snooze some?" he offered a small smile.

"Sure, go ahead. I might try a bit too."

"You don't have to stay. I'll be okay," Greg told him.

"I want to stay until you are home with me, which is hopefully soon. So say no more," Nick told him when he saw Greg about to protest.

"Okay, goodnight…even though it's not really night," Greg smiled.

"Night Greg!"


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N -So I realized I had chapters written sitting on a flash drive that I had not posted. I still have not finished this story but will try to. I hate leaving things unfinished._

* * *

It was a rainy day but he was feeling good. He was being released from the hospital today. He was very ready. He had been working really hard with a psychical therapist to get his strength back up enough to go home the last two days. Luckily he had been in good shape prior to the whole incident that it did not take as long. He was going to be glad to start his tai chi up again when he got home.

One thing he had to do before he could leave was have a visit with Dr. Muller. He had not seen him in a couple of days. His doctor sat in the chair that Nick often sat in. Nick had to go to work for a few hours but would be back later to pick him up to take him home.

"So, are you pleased to be going home today?" Dr. Muller asked him. "Yes, very much so. I'm eager for the comforts of home."

"I bet you are. I heard you had some visitors the other day and it was hard for you to see them at first. Do you want to tell me about that?"

Greg frowned. Someone must have told him about it, probably Nick since he had been concerned. "I was just surprised anyone else wanted to visit me is all," he told him, trying at act like it was not a big deal. He was not sure how much Nick had told him.

"I heard you did not think you deserved to have anyone care about you after you cut them out of your life. Wasn't that how you felt with Nick at first too?" Dr. Muller pressed him.

Nick must have told him everything. He did not want to rehash this but knew his doctor too well to avoid it. "Yes, it was. I see the error of my ways now," he said, rolling his eyes.

Dr. Muller narrowed his eyes at him. "You're avoiding, Greg."

Greg glared at him. "What do you want me to say? You want me to say that I feel guilty and that is why I could not deal with seeing them? Yes, I still feel guilty that they even wanted to try to cheer me up after how I treated them. They had not seen me in years and yet they still cared. I don't deserve it. There, I said it. Now you know it's the same old issue." Even as he said it, his emotions were very evident in his voice. It was not anger at them but at himself.

"Okay then. How did you feel after they left? Are you willing to let them be friends with you again?" Greg sighed heavily. "After they left, I still felt like I did not deserve their attention. I know you are going to tell me what Nick always tells me, I did nothing wrong but I did. I shut everyone out of my life when I probably needed them the most. If someone shut me out like that, I would not give them the time of day."

"Really? Are you sure about that? What if the situation had been reversed and it was Nick who had been in prison and he shut you out? You would have kept away from him?"

Greg looked down. He knew he would have still tried to keep in touch with Nick. He would not have given up on him. Just realizing that, he felt even worse about how he treated him. "No, I would not have."

"See that's because that is what people do when they care deeply about others. Your former co-workers, you always referred to them as family. Your family did not abandon you, even though you wanted them to. They are the only family you have left. If they are willing to have you back in their lives, why be upset at that? Does this root back to how your parents treated you after you came out to them?"

Greg felt a pang suddenly. It was due to his doctor hitting a hard point in his life. Dr. Muller noticed his silence and knew he had been right. "We don't talk much about them but I am starting to think your issues with thinking people should not accept you back into their lives goes back to how they hurt you when you came out and didn't fully accept you after that."

Greg felt wetness stirring in his eyes. He was going to hide his trembling hands but knew that his doctor already noticed. "Maybe…probably," he said softly.

"You got a new family from work. That work family still accepts you after all that you've been through. Cherish that. Not everyone gets that kind of love." Greg nodded as he wiped at his eyes. "I know."

"Look, I don't want to harp on you about this. I really want to talk more about recent events and how they are affecting you. Have you been having nightmares about your time being captive?" Dr. Muller asked him.

"Not much so far. I think it's all the medications I am on. I've kind of been sleeping like a log, which I appreciate."

"So none at all?" his doctor did not believe him. Greg's eyes darkened. "I can't get anything by you anymore, can I?" His doctor shook his head. "Fine. I did have one last night. Luckily Nick was out of the room at the time, otherwise I know you would have known about it for sure," he groaned.

Dr. Muller just stared at him until he elaborated. Greg met his stare. "I don't remember it. It's one of those kind of blurry ones. A nurse actually woke me up from it, since apparently my heart rate had gone up during it."

"Did the nurse say she had trouble waking you? Was it a night terror?" Greg looked down. "Yeah, I think it was."

"You have not had one of those in a while, have you?" his doctor asked him. Greg shook his head. "I don't think so. I've had some bad nightmares, but I usually remember them and wake from them." He saw Dr. Muller jot down something in his notebook. "I'm going to have more of them again, aren't I?"

The older man could see he was scared of the answer. "There is a good chance. It might not have been as overall traumatic as some of the stuff you dealt with in prison but you thought you were going to die there. You have permanent physical damage that will cause you to take medication for the pain. You had a heart attack. It did a lot to you. It's going to affect you mentally also, on top of what you already have gone through."

"So in other words, I am truly fucked up!" he sighed heavily. "Greg," his doctor started. Greg raised his hand up. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just wonder when I will really catch a break. I thought I had. I thought I had a nice job, making good money. I had Nick in my life again. I was starting to really feel good about life again. And now I've gone backwards."

"I know you worry about having a job again and what will come of this, but I do want you to know, Tony is updated. He told me the parole board has lightened your terms in light of everything that has happened."

"What does that mean exactly?" Greg asked him, feeling a little bit of hope.

"It means that you are not required to check in every two weeks anymore and report that you are working. You will probably get something in the mail at some point but as of now, you only need to report into Tony once a month and it can be by phone. They know you live with Nick, a Shift Supervisor in LVPD Crime Lab. If anyone is going to keep you in check, it will be him," he smiled.

Greg was still confused. "So Nick will report to the parole board for me now?" Dr. Muller smiled. "No, that's not what I mean. What I mean is you are getting a break from them. They have come to terms that you are no threat to anyone, if only yourself."

"So I don't need to have a job?" Greg asked. To him that was what it sounded like Dr. Muller told him. "Well, eventually I am sure you will want to work again but there is no need to prove employment right now."

"That means I can take some time for myself if I need to before jumping back into a job." Greg said. "Yes, but do you know for sure that you have no job with Freedom Labs anymore? I mean I know the FreChem part has been shut down but the parent company is still open, even though they are under investigation now."

"I don't know. I have not really talked to anyone there or really know what is going on. I mean do I want to go back to a place that caused me to have pain all my life?" Greg asked him realistically.

"I guess not but that is your decision. You know I have heard a rumor that families of people who were in that lab with you are going to sue FreChem in a civil lawsuit. You have permanent damage from them. Have you thought about that?" His doctor suggested.

It was definitely something he had not thought of. "No, but maybe it is something to think about, I guess."

"Talk to Nick about it, see what he thinks."

"What I think about what?" They both turned and saw that Nick had just come to the door.

"Ah, perfect timing. I will let Greg fill you in. Greg, I'll want to see you in a few days. I will have Janet call to set up an appointment with you." Dr. Muller turned to Nick. "If he gets more sleep terrors, just remember when you wake him he might seem out of it for a bit." Nick looked at Greg with questioning. "He'll fill you in on it soon. Won't you Greg?" Greg nodded, sheepishly.

"Until next time, take care and remember your relaxation and anxiety exercises. Bye!"

Nick waited until he was gone before saying anything else. He placed a duffle bag on the foot of the bed. "Change of clothes for your ride home. Now tell me about this sleep terror warning he gave me?"

Greg's expression was dour. "I had one when you were gone last night. The nurse had to wake me from it. I had set off my heart rate alarm," he told him.

"I'm still confused. You often have nightmares, that is nothing new," Nick said to him.

Greg sighed. "Night terrors or sleep terrors are a bit different. I don't think I've had any since I've been living with you again. I had them in prison though. I usually do not remember them much. It is hard to wake me from them though."

"So you had one of these last night? Is it because of you being held and drugged?" Nick asked out of concern. Greg nodded. "Yes, it's part of having PTSD."

"What happened in prison when you had them?" Nick wondered now. Greg looked away, being uncomfortable with the question. "When I first started having them, I was still in general population and it truly made things worse for me. I guess I would be in my cell, screaming and yelling. The guards would come and try to wake me and no luck until they came in and …well," he felt some anxiety coming on and did not want to say because he knew Nick would be furious that he never knew this.

He could see Greg shaking more than usual. He could see whatever happened was about to trigger an anxiety attack. He grabbed his trembling hands and held them in his. "Greg, what did they do to you?" he asked softly. Greg turned his eyes to him. He looked haunted. "They would hit me until I woke up."

Nick's eyes started to show fury. "They what? The guards hit you?" Greg nodded slowly. "With their clubs, usually my arms or legs until I woke up from it."

Nick looked at him in shock and anger. "Why didn't I know of this before?" Greg shrugged some. "It's in the past. They said I would try to hit them so they had to control me by hitting me. It's actually very plausible with night terrors that I seem awake and can strike out. Dr. Muller observed me one night via camera when I was in solitary confinement for my own safety. He was allowed to counsel me still even though I was in sc. When they moved me to the more protected area and I had them, the guards were made aware and did not hit me. They either let me scream until I woke up or they would handle me more lightly to wake me."

"Jesus! What more don't I know about?" Nick asked, feeling his heart breaking at the sadness that had returned to his loved one's eyes.

Greg pulled his hands out of Nick's. "You don't want to know it all and I don't want to talk about it all. I've been trying to move past it. It's just that now I have Dr. Frankenstein crap running through my head and night terrors to deal with."

Nick walked off towards the window. He did not want Greg to see how angry and frustrated he was. He hated being left in the dark and yet was torn knowing how painful it was for Greg to talk about this stuff.

Greg swallowed hard, seeing Nick turn his back on him. He knew he was mad. "Look, I talk to Dr. Muller about it all and that is hard enough. He is not someone who loves me and hurts for me, like you do. And I know you are going to say that you can handle it, I know you can. I can't. That's what you have to understand. I need you to be able to support me without thinking of all the ugliness I have to think of. I need you to be strong for me. I don't need to see the pain I suffer in your face too. Please tell me you understand."

Nick stared out the window at the blue sky. He did not completely understand but if it would help Greg, he would let it be. "Fine. I won't press you but if you want to open up to me, know I am here." He turned around. Greg sat on the side of the hospital bed, still in his hospital gown, looking worried. "Are you sure?"

Nick softened his stance and walked over to him. "I am sure. I just guess I should find out more about these sleep terrors and how to deal with them, should you have more now that you are going home."

"I'm hoping it won't happen again now that I know it did happen," Greg told him. "You can control them?"

"Kind of? I just have to really try to relax before I go to bed and try to clear my mind of unwanted thoughts. It's easier said than done but I've been able to in the past. Plus since I am not having repeated incidents of what happened this time around, it should not be around as long," Greg told him.

Nick heard him say repeated incidents and just wanted to go back in time and erase his prison time completely. Instead he opted for encouraging words. "I'll do whatever I have to do to help you through this. Now with that being said, do you want to change so you can get ready to go home?"

"Sure." Greg grabbed the duffle bag and opened it up. He saw a jeans and a blue t-shirt. Perfect comfort clothes for him. He took them and went into the bathroom to change.

Once he finished he looked at himself in the mirror. First thing he noticed was the yellowish, fading bruise on his cheek. The next thing was how much longer his hair had gotten since he was out of prison. It was nice having hair on his head again and not the super short cut he had in prison. He lifted his hand to run through his hair and grimaced. He still had pain; it just was not as bad as it had been but certain movements made it worse. It seemed that raising his arms was one of those things. His doctor concluded that it was due to his arms being the initial place the shots of the torture drug were given. He lowered his arm to his side and frowned. It really sucked that he was going to have to live with this the rest of his life.

"You okay in there?" He heard Nick ask from outside the door. "Yes, just give me a couple of seconds." He looked at the scar over his eye. "Never again," he whispered, in reference to those events that gave him that scar. He took a deep, clearing breath and joined Nick.

"We have to wait until your doctor comes with your release papers and then we can go," Nick told him.

"I cannot wait," Greg smiled. He really meant it too. He could not wait to get into the comfort of the house again. He also could not wait to sleep in the same bed with Nick again. Nick made him feel safe when he was near.

He looked at Nick, who was looking down at his cell phone. "If I have not told you recently, I want you to know I love you." Nick looked surprised when he raised his head up. He saw that his love was smiling at him. "I love you too."

Knowing Greg was still in love with him cemented the decision he was going to make. He could not wait until the right moment to tell him but it would have to wait until he was settled again at home.


	26. Chapter 26

Greg walked in the house and saw a big "Welcome Home" banner stretched across the hallway. He shook his head and smiled. Nick could be such a goofy romantic at times.

Further into the house, he saw a big bouquet of flowers on the coffee table. He looked back at Nick, who was closing the house door. "You're too sweet, you know that." Nick just smiled. He came around him and put his bag of prescriptions on the kitchen counter, next to the other pill bottles.

Greg came over and started taking the bottles out of the bag and placing them next to his other bottles. "Think I have enough pills here?" He sighed heavily. He already took pills for his anxiety and depression. Now he had pain pills and other pills to help with his nerve damage issues.

Nick put his hands on his shoulders and started massaging them. "It's all to help you. You'll be fine."

Greg pulled away from him abruptly. "How do you know that? I don't even know that. Sure, maybe these pills will help with the pain and shaking but there is still so much more." He stormed off into the living room. Nick chewed his bottom lip a moment. He was not sure where this was suddenly coming from. He went into the living room after him.

Greg was looking at the bookcase with photos and other trinkets of their past that Nick had kept and had brought back out now that they were together. Greg picked up a photo from when they had a celebration dinner after he had been a CSI for a year. "I'm never going to be this person again," he said, looking at the photo in his hand.

"Well, you're not going to be a CSI again but you can be happy again. I mean you were before this crazy Dr. Frankenstein thing happened," Nick said to him.

Greg turned around and looked at him. He looked angry. "I guess you really don't know me as well as you thought. I might seem happy on the outside but there is always the darkness inside me now. I feel like it is darker now after all this."

Nick knew he had been brooding in the car on the way over but it seemed to have gotten worse now that he was home. He was not sure what brought it on. "It does not have to be. I'm here to help you. Dr. Muller is around to help you. There are others too."

"Oh you mean like my former co-workers? Please they were just being nice. They really don't want to help me." Nick was irritated with his attitude. "What is wrong with you? Why do you insist upon not letting others help or be close to you?"

"You know, maybe I should have stayed on my own. I knew it was going to be a mistake going with you that day. You keep trying to recreate the past but it will never be that again!" He yelled at Nick. Nick was so confused as to where all of this was coming from.

"Greg, I am not trying to recreate the past. I know things will not be the same." Greg showed him the picture he was holding. "This is the past!" He threw down the picture and the frame and glass broke. He picked up another old picture that Nick had taken out of storage of them with Catherine, Sara, and Grissom. "Another one!" He threw that one to the ground, breaking the glass again.

Nick saw him going to grab another item from their past. He stepped up to him and grabbed his arms to stop him. He looked at him with anger. "Stop it now! What has gotten into you?" Greg looked shocked that he had grabbed him. He pulled himself free. "Don't touch me!" he yelled. He turned around and walked to go out the patio door. Nick just let him walk outside. Greg slammed the patio door shut and then proceeded to start pacing outside, like a caged animal. Nick watched him pacing. He was worried now. Something was going on. Did he just encounter the biggest wave yet? He was pretty sure he had. He just could not figure out why now. He thought he was going to be happy to finally be home. Instead he was angry.

He watched him until he saw Greg finally sit down on one of the patio chairs. Noticing that he seemed to finally calm down some, Nick decided to pick up the broken picture frames and glass before someone stepped on it. He would go out to Greg after to see if he had cooled down enough to talk rationally.

Greg had paced until his shaking had stopped. He was not thinking about much except how he needed to calm down before he did something really bad. He sat down finally and put his face in his hands. He felt so much right now, he could not get it straight. He was angry, sad, confused, and hopeless. It was that last feeling that concerned him the most. He was not sure why he felt so miserable. He was home, he should be happy but he was nowhere near feeling that. All he kept thinking was how he did not want to live in pain the rest of his life. It was already bad enough he had the past memories that still haunted him, now he had physical pain. Majority of time the new medication he was on took care of it now, but he knew if he did not have it he would be feeling much worse.

He heard the patio door open and knew it was Nick. He did not want to talk to him. He was exhausted now from his outburst. He also did not want to fight anymore. He noticed he sat down in the chair next to him without saying anything. They sat there in silence for some time before the silence started driving Greg crazy. He decided to get up. He started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Nick asked him. "I'm tired. I'm heading to bed early. You got a problem with that?" Greg shot back.

"We should talk before you go to bed," Nick said to him sternly. "Not going to happen and I would advise you not trying to force me to talk."

Nick watched Greg walk away from him again, back into the house. He was getting really worried. He had all these great plans for his first day back and now they were shot. He was not sure what was going on. He went back inside and saw Greg heading up the stairs. He decided to let him sleep. Maybe he was really just super cranky, even though he really did not believe that. He did believe that at least maybe after getting some sleep, they could talk more civilized.

It was too early for him to head to bed, so he stayed downstairs for a couple hours before heading up. When he went into their bedroom, Greg was fast asleep in bed. He was happy that he was. Nick changed into his sleep wear. He crawled into bed very quietly, so not to wake up Greg. He seemed to be successful as Greg did not stir. It was not long before he fell asleep too. He had not been sleeping much since Greg had been in the hospital, so it was nice to be sleeping in their bed together, even though they had a fight.

Nick was startled awake a few hours later by Greg screaming out. "No, stop. Please, I can't take anymore!" He yelled out. He started thrashing about. Nick called him name to try to wake him. That was not working. He then shook his arm to try to wake him. That was not working either.

Greg suddenly sat up in bed and started swinging his arms around. Nick had to dodge a near blow. He had never seen him like this. He must have been having one of those night terrors. He managed to grab both of his arms and shook him really hard, yelling his name at the same time. He stopped thrashing around and became still. He opened his eyes and blinked some. Nick said his name more cautiously. Greg seemed to finally focus on him.

"Nick?" He looked down and realized he was sitting up in bed and Nick was holding his arms. "What's going on?" He looked scared. "I think you were having one of those night terror things. I had trouble waking you. Do you remember anything?"

Greg looked down. He had another night terror. He could not really remember anything. Things were getting worse and not better. He felt an old feeling overwhelm him suddenly and he scared himself. He looked up at Nick. "I don't remember." He saw Nick staring at him with concern. The old feeling became stronger. He could not let it get worse.

He pulled out of Nick's grip and got up. "I…I need some space. I'm going downstairs for a while."

Before Greg walked away, Nick had seen the haunted look in his eyes again but there was something more there and it scared him. He would give Greg a few minutes but not too long. He was too worried about him.

Greg sat on the sofa downstairs, chewing his nails. His cell phone sat on the coffee table in front of him. He knew what he should do but it was the middle of the night and he hesitated. He remembered what his doctor had told him though. His mind was in a bad place and he knew he had to make the call. He picked up his phone and hit the speed dial. When it rang a few times he was worried he would not answer his phone.

"Hello?" asked a groggy sounding voice. "Dr. Muller? It's Greg. I know it's late but I'm scared and you said to call you whenever if I ever felt this way again."

"Greg, give me a second to go into another room. Tell me what's going on," Dr. Muller asked him as he went to his at home office.

"I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm having those feelings again. I don't know why." Greg's voice sounded slightly panicked. "Tell me exactly what you are talking about Greg. What feelings are you having?" His doctor could sense the urgency in his voice.

"I'm feeling hopeless; like things are only going to get worse. I…I don't want to live like this anymore. I just want these memories and night terrors and pain to end once and for all." The doctor sighed on the other end. "Greg, have you been taking your new medication? All of it, including the pain medication?"

Greg was a bit confused by this being his first question. "Yes, I am. I'm taking my anti-depressants and all."

"And these feelings, have they just manifested in the last day or two?" Greg nodded and then realized he could not see him. "Yes."

"I was afraid of this. I need you to not take any more Pregabalin. One of the side effects of this drug is suicidal thoughts and with you already having PTSD, I was worried about it happening. Have you told Nick how you feel yet?"

"No, but I've been kind of fighting with him since I got home. I even got a little violent and broke some pictures," Greg admitted to him. He felt a little better knowing the drugs could be causing these feelings.

"It's very good that you called me, Greg. It shows that you still want to be well. I'd like to talk to Nick. Can you get him on the phone?" Greg wondered why he wanted to talk to Nick but then he realized it was probably a good idea for him to tell him things that Greg did not feel comfortable telling him. "Okay." Greg called Nick's name out and asked him to come down.

Nick came rushing down the stairs and saw Greg holding out his cell phone to him. "He wants to talk to you." Nick looked at him with curiosity and took the phone. "Hello?"

"Nick, it's Dr. Muller. I didn't hear Greg say who it was. Anyway, I want you to know that you need to make sure he does not take the Pregbalin. You should probably throw it out." Nick looked at Greg, who had his head down.

"Why?" Dr. Muller proceeded to tell him that Greg called him to let him know he was having suicidal thoughts and a side effect of that drug was that. Nick's eyes opened wide when he heard Greg was having those thoughts. That was why he was acting so strange. Now he worried about him even more. "Are you sure that is the cause?"

"Well I can't be 100% sure but I had worried about him having that drug. I will get in touch with Dr. Brown tomorrow and let him know to give him a prescription to another medication that does not have that as a side effect. In the meantime, Greg might start to experience some pain again so just keep a close eye on him. It will take a day or two to clear that out of his system. Hopefully then we will know if it is just the drug or if it is more.

"I want you to know he called me. That is a good sign. He knew he was having these feelings and sought out help. Just try to lift his spirits if possible for now. I hear he had a violet outburst. Don't focus on that, it will only upset him more. Watch comedies, play games, just do something to keep him from getting more depressed until it wears off."

Nick sighed very heavily. He kept his eyes on the back of Greg's head, which was still hanging down. "I understand. I will do everything I can."

"I know you will. I'm so glad you are there for him. He would be in worse shape, I am sure of it, if it had not been for you showing up in his life again. Can I talk to him again?"

"Thanks for saying that. Sure." He handed the phone over to Greg. "He wants to talk to you again." Greg looked up at him. He looked so weary and tired. He took the phone.

"Yes?" He watched as Nick walked into the kitchen. He saw Nick look through his bottles and pick up one. "Greg, Nick is going to throw away those pills. I will call your other doctor in the morning and get him to switch your pills out. In the meantime, you have to realize you will have some pain to deal with again. You're going to have to be strong and deal with it. Be strong like you were in that lab, breaking free and managing to crawl up those stairs to get free. You were in much worse shape then. You can get through this." Greg was watching Nick put the pills down the garbage disposal. "Okay, I will try my best."

"That's all I can ask. I will try to give you a call in the next day to see how things are going. Take care of yourself. And talk to Nick, he loves you." Greg nodded again and again realized he would not see it. "I know. Thanks Doc and sorry for waking you in the middle of the night."

"It's okay Greg. It was for a very good reason. Goodnight."

Greg saw Nick come back from the kitchen. He sat next to him on the sofa. Greg was pretty sure his doctor told him how he had been feeling. "So, do you want to try to go back to sleep or maybe watch a movie?" Nick asked him out of the blue. Greg looked at him. "I don't know right now what I want to do."

Nick looked at his sad eyes and knew he had to do something. It was not the situation he wanted to do it in but for some reason he felt now was the right time. "I have to run upstairs and get something. I'll be right back."

Greg furrowed his brows and wondered what Nick was doing. He came back down a minute later and noticed he was hiding something in his hand. Greg's curiosity of what Nick had got had him forgetting some of his bad thoughts. "What did you run upstairs for?"

Nick sat down next to him again. He looked into Greg's eyes and noticed they had more curiosity now than sadness. Maybe this was going to be a good time after all. He took Greg's hand in his. Greg looked down at him holding his hand and then looked back at him. "I called him because I don't want these feelings. I'm sorry about earlier. I've just been really confused with my feelings the last day or so but now I guess we know why."

"I don't want you to be sorry Greg, especially now that we believe it was caused by this medication. I just want you to be happy," Nick told him.

"I know," Greg said quietly.

Nick took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about this for some time now. It was something I was thinking about before the lab thing happened. I was certain once I found you again but I wanted to wait for the right time. I believe now is the right time. I think you need to know how I really feel." Greg's eyes opened wide; worried he would give him some ultimatum to get over his issues or leave.

Nick pulled his other hand out from behind his back and released his grip from Greg's hand. He opened his hand and had a black box in it. "Greg, I love you more than anything. I would do anything for you. I want to prove my love to you." He paused and opened the box. It had a single gold band in it. Greg felt his heart rate speed up as he looked at the ring. He lifted his huge eyes to Nick, his mouth slightly agape.

"Greg, will you marry me?"


	27. Chapter 27

Nick waited for Greg to say something. He was just staring at the ring. After a minute of silence, he became nervous. Maybe this was a bad time for him to ask this with his mind having dark thoughts. "Greg, look I know I…" but he was cut off by Greg.

"Stop. Give me a moment to compose my thoughts, because I have many," Greg said. He sighed heavily before going any further.

He looked at Nick. His eyes swirled with varying emotions. "You know when I knew I was getting released from prison, I really thought I was going to be on my own for the rest of my life. I had prepared for that. I had not prepared for you pulling up to pick me up. I had not prepared for you asking me to move in to live with you again. I had not prepared to be loved again. All I had prepared for was to be living a very lonely life. I was scared I would not last long anymore in the real world, if I am to be honest with you. I thought for sure I would have ended up with some job at a convenience store, barely making ends meet. I really had very little hope. But you interrupted my life, with you demanding me to come with you and stop being stubborn. The way I pushed you away and excluded you in those last years in prison, I never imagined you wanting me again. Loving me still…but you do. You wouldn't let me be alone. You want me to be happy again when I never thought that was possible. And I was wrong earlier, I have been happy at times, I mean genuinely happy. And it's all due to you. And now this…" he looked at the ring in Nick's hand.

Nick was nervous. Greg said so much but he had not answered his actual question yet. Was he ready to get married or not? He stared at him. "So is that a yes or a no?" Greg raised his eyes to meet his. The large chocolate pools were glistening with emotions.

He took a deep breath. "Yes, I will. Yes, but do you know what you are really getting into?" Greg asked him. He knew he was unstable and would probably be that way the rest of his life with all the issues he had.

"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part, I sure do," Nick said with a confident smile at him.

Greg felt his heart warm. He gave him a kiss.

He looked down at the ring. "So is this like some kind of engagement ring or something? I mean it is a bit odd seeing as we are both guys," he chuckled a little.

Nick also laughed. "I know what you mean. This is a bit odd but I plan this to be your wedding band. Unless of course you want to look at others. I mean I will have one that is the same. I figured we would just do inscriptions on them."

Greg nodded. "Okay that makes sense."

Nick closed the box up again. "You had me worried there that I was making a huge mistake."

"I'm sorry I get so crazy at times. I try to be better but sometimes I get overwhelmed with emotions. I just needed to say what I said first. I guess I was working through my own feelings by saying all that. I mean after saying all of that I knew what my answer would be." He was smiling when he suddenly grimaced.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked him quickly. He recognized the pained face. Greg tucked his hands in between his legs because they were starting to tremble. "I guess those pills are wearing off," he said with a wearier look in his eyes now. His real life issues reared again to take away his brief moment of happiness.

Nick sympathized with him. "Do you want me to get you some Alleve for now?" Greg nodded.

Nick got up to get some from the kitchen and returned quickly with some pills and a bottle of water in his hands. He handed it over to him. He sat down as Greg took the pills down. "Do you want to try to go back to bed? I mean it is still the middle of the night." Greg just nodded. It seemed like the pain had taken all his energy and emotions.

Nick helped him up from the sofa and walked behind him up the stairs. Greg gingerly crawled into bed. He waited until Nick was in bed beside him and turned to his side. "I'm sorry I cut our little engagement celebration short."

The Texan shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I just love hearing you say 'our engagement.'"

"So speaking of, have you ever thought about what kind of wedding you would want?" Greg asked him.

"I've done some thinking. Something small, with close friends and family. Maybe outdoors. What about you, have you ever thought about it?" Nick asked.

Greg looked a bit somber. "There was a time before prison when I might have had a fleeting thought but ever since prison I never even dared to dream we would be back together again. I definitely never thought marriage. I cut you off because I wanted you to move on. I knew at that point that my life would never be the same, even when I got out."

Nick reached out and took his hand. "But here I am. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried harder," he smiled softly.

Greg felt that warmness spread through his heart again. "I'm not sure what I ever did to deserve your undying love for me, but I promise not to abuse it anymore. You have helped me so much and I do not give you the credit you deserve."

"So much has been done to you that should never have happened. You deserve only good things to happen but yet you still suffer. I'm just trying to do my part to make you happy, you know that," Nick reminded him.

"I know, I know. I'm a work in progress, just remember," he said with a slight smile. He yawned immediately after. "I guess we should really try that sleep thing again."

Nick agreed. He gave Greg a kiss before saying goodnight to him again for the second time that night.

When he woke up a few hours later, he noticed his partner was still asleep. He had shifted to his back in his sleep. He just gazed at him, studying him as his chest rose and fell with his breathing. He had to remind himself that he recently had a minor heart attack too. He had been through so much, it hurt him to even think about it.

Greg appeared to be getting a little restless in his sleep. Nick prayed he was not having another night terror. He decided to wake him up. He said his name a few times before he stopped moving and opened his eyes, wide. "Huh? What?"

"I'm sorry. It looked like you were having another nightmare," Nick apologized. Greg rubbed his hands over his face. He looked weary again. "Yeah I guess I was. Same crap, different night," he sighed. He looked at Nick, who was frowning and looked sad.

"I'm sorry, Babe. Give it some time again and they will lessen again like they had been," he told him.

"I know." Greg made an attempt to sit up and groaned when he felt his whole body hurt. "I'm half tempted to stay in bed all day today," he bemoaned.

Nick grinned. "I can indulge you in that. How about I make my new fiancé breakfast in bed?" Greg smiled back. "I would like that from my fiancé."

Nick went downstairs and was back about 15 minutes later, carrying a tray with scrambled eggs, sausage links, and waffles. He placed the tray in front of Greg. "I'll be back with some OJ and my tray of food. We can eat together."

Greg smiled happily when Nick returned. He could definitely get used to this kind of treatment. He waited for Nick to get settled back with his tray of food and then leaned over and gave him a kiss. The movement hurt but he ignored it since it was more important to show Nick his appreciation. "Thank you! This is delightful. I could easily get spoiled with this type of treatment."

Nick saw the smile on his and felt good. "I don't mind spoiling you. You deserve some good TLC. Maybe it will help chase those nightmares away."

"It can't hurt, that is for sure," he said as he took a bite of his eggs.

They continued to eat in silence for the most part. Greg finished his food first and relaxed his head back. Nick picked up their trays and put them on the floor for now.

"So back to wedding plans, is there anything you would like?" Nick asked him. Greg shrugged. "Just to marry you, that is all I need."

Nick looked a little displeased. "You don't even care where? I mean you have a say in it."

Greg thought a moment about it. "Definitely not in a courthouse or one of those crazy places here. No Elvis is marrying me," he chuckled.

Nick smirked. "Damn, there went my dream." Greg just glared at him but knew he was kidding around.

"So would you be okay with some place outdoors then?" Greg nodded. "Sure, I think I would like that. We just have to be sure we have a backup plan for indoors. But how many people do you plan on asking? I hope you want to keep it small. I have no one to ask."

"Really? I mean I know you have no family anymore but not anyone of your friends?"

"What friends? I have not had friends in years," Greg frowned.

"Well, you may not consider them your friends anymore, but they are still mine," Nick said, getting a bit mad that Greg kept saying he had no friends anymore. "What about Dr. Muller?"

Greg cocked his head. "My shrink? What you want me to invite him in case I have a breakdown at the wedding?"

"No Greg that is not what I am thinking at all. I was thinking there is this man who has gotten to know you very well and might like to be there to see you finally achieve some real happiness," Nick said with some heat in his tone.

Greg felt a bit guilty, not thinking of it that way. "Well, maybe him but that is about it. My side will be lonely. You got all the family members and friends." Nick frowned but knew it would not be. He would reach out to those who still cared about him and invite them as a surprise to be there for Greg.

Nick decided to move on from who they would be inviting. "Do you want to talk about a date for it? I would love it to be sooner than later. I sort of feel like I've been waiting forever for this to come someday."

"Really? Even when I was in prison, you still knew one day you would want to marry me? I don't believe it," Greg said with skepticism.

"Well, yes there was the time before you cut me out of your life that I thought when you got out we would still get married," Nick told him.

"And after I cut you out of my life?" Greg wondered. Nick looked away, towards a photo of them on the nightstand. "I told you I tried to move on. I dated some but no one ever felt like you. Plus I knew you were troubled and that you were not in your right mind at that time. I hoped, I prayed one day for you to get better. I prayed that when you got out, you would be different than that last time I saw you. And you were." He looked back at Greg with a hint of pride in his eyes. "Sure you were angry and not wanting to take my help but I could see there was some fight in you. I could see you had changed, for the better. I had heard from prison insiders that you were stronger and learned to live through what you had been put through. But I also knew you were seeing Dr. Muller on a regular basis and on anti-depressants. I took a chance that day of your release. I took a chance you still cared about me and I think I was right to take that chance. Wouldn't you say?"

Greg smiled softly. "Yeah, you were right. And I had changed, so you were right about that too. And now here we are, planning our wedding. It seems surreal in a way."

"How about this, I get ahold of the people I want to invite and see how soon they all might be available. Then we can set the date. There are certain people I want to make sure are there," Nick told him.

Greg just shrugged, since he had no one to really ask. "Okay, that sounds fine to me."

Nick knew that Greg was not too keen on a lot of people being there. Nick was going to be sure that there were people there who there for him too. He planned to make it an extra special day.

Greg decided to clean up after the breakfast Nick made for him. It was the least he could do. He moved to get out of bed and felt pain shoot through his whole body. "Fuck!" He exclaimed as he stood up.

Nick could see the pain in his face. "Look, just stay in bed today. I mean the doctor told you to still rest for a couple days. I can clean up the breakfast stuff. I know there will be time in the future when you can make it up to me. Just take it easy." Greg sighed but agreed to go with Nick's thought. He sat back on the bed and laid back.

"I will make it up to you." Greg told him as he was about to leave the room. Nick turned back. "I know you will."

While Nick was downstairs, he decided to take the opportunity to make some calls to see who would be available to attend their wedding in the next month or two. He talked to his parents first, who he had not spoken to since Greg was found alive. "Yeah, he's going to be okay. He has some challenges but he's strong and I'm here for him," he told his mom, after she asked how Greg was. He informed them that he proposed and they were both happy for him. Since they were both retired now, they said they would be available at any time and would help financially if needed. Nick appreciated the offer and might take them up on a little bit of assistance.

The next call was more important and for Greg mostly. A smile came to Nick's face as the heard the voice on the other side answer. "Oh my God! Nick! How are you? We've been thinking so much about you and Greg. We keep up with the news over there. How is Greg?" Nick proceeded to tell the person on the other side of the line all about what had happened and about the wedding.

"Yes, if course we will be there. We will make time for it. We've actually talked about taking a vacation there soon, so this could work out wonderfully. Just let us know the set date. I can't wait to see both of you again, especially Greg."

"I know seeing you would make his day, even though he would deny it to me now. I will let you know the date and place as soon as it is decided. I can't wait to see the both of you again." Nick hung up and had a smile on his face. It was time to bring a calendar upstairs and set a date with Greg.

As he got to the bedroom door, he saw that Greg had fallen back asleep. "I guess we will pick a date later," he mumbled to himself, glad to see he was getting some rest. He went back down and his phone rang. He did not recognize the phone number. It was Dr. Brown's office advising him that a new prescription was ready for Greg to be picked up. Nick hoped this one would not have the side effects the last one just had.

He went back upstairs to put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He was trying to be quiet but Greg stirred anyway. "Hey, where are you going?" He asked as he yawned.

"I'm going to pick up your new prescription. The doctor's office just called. I'll be back as soon as possible. And when I get back, we are going to pick a date," Nick told him.

"A wedding date? Okay," Greg said. "I'll think on it while you are away."

After Nick left, Greg struggled to get out of bed to use the bathroom. Once he was done, he looked at himself in the mirror. The bruise on his face was pretty much gone now. He did look a bit thinner than he had been. He realized he was not shaking at all. That was a plus. Plus since he slept, his pain was not that bad again. He could live with it. If earlier was as bad as it might get, he realized he could deal with it. Maybe things were actually going to get better. He was going to marry the man of his dreams after all, something he never thought would happen after being in prison.

"If I survived prison and then being an actual lab rat, I can survive this occasional trembling and pain," he told himself. "I can do this," he said to himself again. He used to tell himself that a lot when he was in prison, after working with Dr. Muller. He wiped at a tear that had escaped from his eye. He did not know why he was getting emotional. Perhaps it was because he was still adjusting to his medication being back in his system again.

In any case, he knew he had Nick and Nick had his back all the way. He had no doubts about that anymore. He could not wait to marry him and achieve the dream he never thought possible.


	28. Chapter 28

It was a month later and the day Nick and Greg had decided to get married on. The location they decided on was a golf course that had a beautiful outdoor venue with the mountains in the background. There was the indoor venue for the reception or backup if needed, but the weather was perfect outside for a nice October day.

Nick walked into the dressing room and saw Greg still in a t-shirt and jeans. He was sitting down, with his hands in between his legs and his eyes closed. He knew Greg was having a lot of anxiety about the whole wedding thing as it got closer. He tried to talk Nick into just eloping but Nick would not have it. Special people had been invited that Greg still did not know about and he was bound not to disappoint them by having no wedding.

He called out Greg's name and saw him open his eyes. "God, I didn't even hear you come in I am such a nervous wreck," he said as he stood up.

"Have you taken your pills?" Nick asked him, seeing the worry on his loved one's face. "Yeah, I just took the Xanax too. I hope that kicks in soon. I didn't want to be too drugged up but apparently I need to be."

Nick came up to him and took his trembling hands in his. "Look, it's going to be okay. It's only my family and some friends, most of whom you know." Greg nodded. "I know, I know but it's just I have not seen most of them in years, including most of your family. I mean luckily we hung out with your parents yesterday, so I know they are okay with me but what about everyone else? I mean are they really all happy you are marrying me?"

Nick frowned. "Come on, don't do this to yourself now. They have always liked you and they know you make me happy, so they will be happy for the both of us. You are letting your fears get the best of you."

Greg pulled his hands out of Nick's and turned his back to him, running his hands through his hair. "I know. I know what I'm doing." He heard him take a few deep breaths, knowing he was trying to calm himself down.

"Dr. Muller is already here, do you want to talk to him maybe?" Nick suggested. They were getting married in less than an hour and both had to change clothes still. He did not need Greg freaking out and possibly backing out at the last minute.

Greg turned around, looking exasperated. "Fuck! Fine send him in."

Nick smiled, knowing he would get through this. "I'll send him in and I expect the next time I see you will be walking behind me down the aisle." Greg looked at his confidence and the love that was in his eyes for him and knew he could do it.

"Yes, you will see me then. I love you," Greg told him. Nick smiled. "I know." Greg rolled his eyes as he left. A minute later Dr. Muller stepped in.

"You're not dressed yet? Don't you think you should be getting dressed soon?" His doctor asked him. Greg glared at him. "I'm having a bit of a panic attack here and that's what you say to me?"

Dr. Muller stepped closer to Greg and stared him down. "Greg, you love Nick, don't you?"

"Yes."

"And you want marry him still?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you freaking out? Because that is all that should matter. Don't worry about who else is going to be there. This is truly about you and Nick, is it not?" He saw Greg's shoulders slump.

"Yes," he sighed.

"Okay, then stop freaking out and get dressed to get married. Your fears don't matter more than your love for Nick, do they?"

Greg suddenly realized what he was saying. "No, you are right. Nothing is more important than marrying Nick today."

"Good, then I will let you be to get dressed and see you outside." Greg watched him as he left. "Hey Dr. Muller. Thanks for setting me on the right path all the times you have. I really do appreciate it and you being here today."

Dr. Muller turned around and had a warm smile on his face. "You are a good person, Greg. Don't tell anyone else this, but you are probably my favorite client. I like seeing you happy. You deserve it."

Greg smiled and felt a slight lump in his throat. "Thanks for being there when I had no one else. It really means a lot." Dr. Muller came closer to him and rested his hands on his shoulders. "You are very welcome, son. Now get ready to be married." Greg nodded and watched the good doctor leave. He stood still a moment, taking in what the doctor said to him. He felt confident now that he could do this.

"Time to get dressed," he told himself.

A half hour later, Nick texted Greg. _Are you ready? I'm outside at the doorway. Once you say you are ready, I am going to start my walk down, expecting you shortly after._ Greg texted back. _I'm ready. I will be there._ Nick straightened out his bowtie and walked up to the door way. The music began and he started his slow walk down the aisle. As he made his way down, he saw the smiling faces of his family and his friends, especially those that came from afar. He smiled at them as he made his way to stand at the foot of the archway they were getting married under.

He turned around and saw Greg come to the doorway that led outside. He smiled widely when he saw how handsome he was in his tuxedo. They had decided to go all out and wear tuxedos. He watched as Greg started down the aisle. He seemed to keep all of his focus on Nick, not even looking to see who else was there. It was not until he was nearly at the end of the aisle when he saw Greg falter slightly.

Greg tried to keep his focus on Nick, but out of the corner of his eyes he saw two faces smiling brightly at him and he could not believe it. He stopped a brief second to catch his breath and then acknowledged them. He had to shift his focus back to Nick or he might lose the control he was holding onto with his emotions right there. He could not believe Sara and Grissom where actually there. They were sitting on the side that was to be Greg's family, which he no longer had any of but apparently all of his former friends and co-workers were there with Dr. Muller on his side. Nick's side had his family and others he did not recognize, except for D.B. Russell.

When he got to the archway, he focused on Nick and how his smile just melted his heart. It was actually going to happen. He was actually going to marry Nick Stokes.

Nick took his hands in his and turned to the pastor. Greg did the same but all that kept running through his head was that this was actually happening. He went through the motions until it came to saying their vows. Nick had squeezed his hands and turned to face him. Nick never looked more gorgeous than he did at that moment. Greg could not believe he was so lucky.

The time came for Nick to say his vows. "I know I prayed one day we would be here like this and here we are. I can't imagine my life without you. The time you were away from me was some of the hardest years of my life but I know it was nowhere near as hard as it was for you. But through it all you came back to me and you accepted my love. I take you to be my partner for life, I promise above all else to live in truth with you, and to communicate fully and fearlessly. I give you my hand and my heart, as a sanctuary of warmth and peace. And I pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor as I join my life to yours." His eyes were brimmed with tears as he finished his vows to Greg.

Greg did not think it was possible with all the drugs he had in him to be emotional at this time but yet his own eyes were already filling with tears. "I've told you this. I never thought this day would come to be after…after all I went through. Those were the hopes of a fool and a weak person. I had to force myself to give up on those dreams and focus on reality. When I did that, I shut you out of my life completely. I never thought I would see you there to pick me up, to take me in, to love me again but here we are, getting married," he chuckled through the emotions. "I love you so much, I think that is what hurts sometimes. I just never thought my heart would be capable of it after everything I went through but you made me love again. Here I stand before, still messed up but pushing through because I know you love me and I love you. I take you to be my partner for eternity. I promise to be honest with you with all my feelings and fears. I give you all that I can and then some because you complete me. I pledge my love, my devotion, my honor, and my faith as I join my life to yours." He wiped at his own tears that had fallen down his cheek.

They both looked at each other with so much love in their eyes. The pastor asked for the rings and then handed them out to each of them. Nick started by placing the ring on Greg's finger. "I give you this ring that you may wear it, as a symbol of the vows we have made this day. I pledge you my love and respect, my laughter and my tears. With all that I am, I honor you." Greg did the same and said the same with his placement of the ring on Nick's finger.

"By the power invested in me, I pronounce you married and partners in life. You may now exchange your affection upon each other." Nick and Greg both smiled and chuckled a little at the last phrase but ended up kissing each other on the lips.

They turned out to face their family and friends and saw everyone clapping and cheering. Some had tears in their own eyes. Nick saw his family, looking all proud and happy for him.

Greg looked over and saw Dr. Muller looking genuinely happy for him. He saw next to him sat Sara and Grissom. Sara had tears in her eyes but they were happy ones. She smiled brightly at him. Grissom also seemed very proud. Behind them sat most of his former co-workers from the lab. They all smiled and cheered.

They continued walking down the aisle. Greg looked at his husband. He could not believe that less than a year ago he was still in prison, with no hope of this ever happening. Now he was officially married to the love of his life.

They reached the end of the aisle and Nick looked at Greg, who had been gazing at him with what seemed to be wonder. "What is it?" Nick asked him. Greg just stared into his dark brown eyes.

"We're actually married. I didn't think it was possible," Greg said to him. Nick smiled back, bringing his hand up to his face and brushing his thumb on his cheek. "It's true. We are married."

"I love you so much," Greg said to him. "I love you too," Nick said before planting his lips on his love's lips.

They both looked back at their adoring family and friends and waved. "We'll see you all in the reception hall soon," Nick told them. He then turned back to Greg. "Let's give them a chance to gather and then we can come out to see everyone." Greg nodded and followed him to his dressing room.

Once there, Greg grabbed Nick's hands. "Thank you for this. For inviting those which I never thought would care again."

Nick knew he was referring to Sara and Grissom. "They have always cared. Everyone has always cared. I have told you that time and time again. You did nothing wrong in our eyes. You did the best you could in a horrible situation and you paid for it greatly. You still pay for it on a daily basis and you know it. Yes, it hurt everyone that you cut us off but we did understand for the most part. Sara was thrilled to hear we were getting married. The date was planned around them, if I am being honest. Most others could get off that time but since they are overseas it is trickier. But they flew all the way in from Paris to be here for us. They plan to stay for a week."

"Well, thank you for not listening to me and going ahead and inviting everyone. I really appreciate it. Although I know I am already a bit nervous about talking to them," Greg said. Nick squeezed his hands, knowing they had been trembling some.

"You'll be fine." To show him, he pulled him close for a long kiss. He knew it always eased his tension some.

He pulled back and gazed at the slightly love-dazed big brown eyes of his love. "So are you ready to greet our guests?" Greg nodded.

They had it set up that they would visit everyone at the tables, since overall there were only about 30 people and five tables. They wanted to give everyone a chance to spend time with the newlyweds.

Everyone cheered as they walked in. Nick was so happy to see Greg very happy with the turnout. The first table they came to was Nick's family. They had seen them the days before, as they helped with the wedding plans. They all congratulated them and gave them big hugs.

They walked up to the next table and Greg had to do a double take. Catherine Willows was there and she stood up promptly and went up to Nick and hugged him. "I'm so sorry I was late. My damn flight was delayed. That's what I get for trying to fly in at the last minute." She turned to Greg and wanted to hug him but was unsure, as his eyes were wide saucers. "It's wonderful to see you Greg. I'm so glad the two of you finally got married. I always knew you two were meant to be," she smiled brightly at them.

Seeing her beam at them, especially at him, Greg gave in and hugged her. She held him and whispered in his ear. "I'm so happy for you. I knew you were stronger than you even thought you were." Greg pulled back and smiled back at her. "Thank you, Catherine. You look great!"

"I agree," chimed in Nick as he put his arm around Greg's waist. "You two are always so polite. Thank you! I'm really sorry I missed the ceremony but glad I am here to still see you." They spoke briefly. Catherine told them she was busy working for the FBI still in DC. She really enjoyed her job.

They moved over to the next table where Grissom and Sara and other former co-workers all sat. Nick held Greg's hand tighter as he felt the tremors in it. Sara stood with her eyes full of emotions. "I'm so happy to see the two of you together at long last. I'm especially happy to see you, Greg." Greg always had a special friendship with Sara so seeing her was probably the toughest. "I'm happy to see you too, Sara. I'm sorry about…," he was cut off by Sara telling him to stop.

"Don't. There is no need to apologize. You did nothing wrong. It's in the past, let's leave it there," she said to him. She could see he was getting emotional, so she decided to finally hug him. He held onto her tight, taking in her scent. He always remembered she was the first one on the scene to help him and was only there for him. She rubbed his back, as she felt him tremble some. She knew of his PTSD and nerve damage he suffered recently. She was not sure which was causing it now but it did not matter. She just wanted him to know she forgave him.

Nick and Grissom stood to the side and let them have their moment. They both were fully aware of their special friendship and knew it needed this healing and forgiving moment. "I'm happy you were always there for him, Nick. I felt bad not being there for him like I should have been but I've never been good with showing emotions like that," Grissom said to him.

Sara and Greg parted from their hug. Greg looked to Nick, who was smiling at Grissom. "I think we all know you have never been great in that department, Grissom. I don't think Greg held it against you." Greg looked at his former boss and someone he considered a mentor. "You were just being you, Grissom. I know now that everyone did their best but the cards were not in my favor. I also know I did not help my own case but as Sara just said, it's in the past, let it stay there. It's not easy and it is a struggle for me often but it gets easier day by day with this guy by my side," Greg said as he leaned his head against Nick's.

"Well, we wish the very best for the two of you. And when you are able to, you have an open invitation to come and stay with us in Paris," Grissom offered. Sara leaned against him. "Definitely. I would love to see you two over there with us. I really hope you can make it out some day."

Nick looked at Greg, who seemed a little skeptical. "I am sure we can do it someday. It probably won't be anytime soon though. We still got a lot to work through here. But we will remember that offer. I'm just so thankful you were able to come for our wedding."

"We would not have missed it for anything," Sara smiled. "We adore you two and just want to see you as happy as we are," she said as she looked starry-eyed at Grissom. He smiled and agreed with her.

They spent the rest of their time seeing everyone else and catching up. Nick noticed Greg seemed to be getting jitterier as they took their own seats. "Hey, are you okay?" He finally asked him as they started eating. Greg smiled at him but it was a nervous looking smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." Nick frowned, knowing he was not telling the truth as he could see his trembling getting worse.

He kept a close eye on him as they ate. When they went to cut the cake, Nick put his hand over Greg's to hide the shaking. They sliced a piece together and politely fed each other a bite. Everyone cheered and clapped. Nick was focused on Greg, who looked like he was about to have a panic attack. "Greg," he said quietly. Greg stared at him. "I need to get out of here, now."

Nick's eyes widened in surprise but then grabbed his hand. "Okay, let me handle it."


	29. Chapter 29

"Everybody, we want to thank all of you for coming to our wedding. We are going to take an early exit but please feel free to stay and enjoy the rest of the night. We love you all and thank you again for all of your love and support." Nick had gotten everyone's attention. Greg stood by his side, trying to smile as much as he could without having a full panic attack right there.

Nick had his hand and guided them out smoothly without too many people trying to stop them to say a last goodbye. Nick got them to their dressing room and sat Greg down in a chair. Greg put a hand to his chest as he closed his eyes and was breathing heavily.

"Do you have chest pains?" Nick asked with worry. Greg shook his head. "Just trying to calm down," he said slowly.

"What brought this on?" Nick asked in wonder. They were married, everyone was happy for him. Why was he having a panic attack? Was he regretting marrying him?

"Just everyone being there and supporting me, saying I did nothing wrong," Greg told him as he finally opened his eyes and looked at him.

"But you didn't do anything wrong, I've told you this too," Nick said to him, wondering why this was getting to him again.

Greg shook his head. "No one gets it. I did do something wrong. I still killed someone. It was not on purpose but it happened. I never had killed anyone before. And for everyone to say I did nothing wrong, it's not true. I did and it still hurts to this day. And I am so sorry that my mind is so fucked up that this is bothering me on today, our wedding day," he said with anguish in his voice. He buried his face in his hands.

Nick never really realized Demetrius James' death weighed on his mind still. Nick softened up and reached out to take his hands from his face and in his. "Why have you never mentioned this to me? I did not know this weighed on your mind so much."

Greg looked at him wearily. "I guess it is because I just figured you would have figured it out but apparently you had not. I mean you have always worn your heart on your sleeve, but me...well you are the only one that knows me well enough to know I hide that kind of stuff pretty well, at least up to my years in prison. But at the heart of it, my being responsible for the death of that kid has always haunted me, even after being put through what I was. I don't know how you have never realized that!" He pulled his hands away from Nick and got up to start pacing.

Nick watched him, at a loss of what to say. He was right, he should have known this.

His cell phone suddenly went off. He looked at it and answered it. "Oh, okay. Yes, give us a few and we will be out. Thanks." He hung up and saw that Greg had stopped pacing and was looking at him. "Our ride is here to take us away for our brief honeymoon. Do you still want to go?"

Greg's shoulders slouched but he walked over to Nick. "I have got to be the world's worst freshly married spouse. Of course I still want to go. None of this changes how I feel about you. It's mostly just a reminder of what you got yourself into in marrying me," he said with a growing grin.

Nick smiled and pulled him in for a kiss. "Yes, it is a reminder but I still love you too. Let's go catch our ride."

"And now I can know where we are going?" Greg asked as they gathered their stuff to take outside.

"Once inside I will tell you." They walked out and had a limo waiting for them. Greg gave a curious look to Nick who explained to him that it was his parents who splurged on the limo ride to their honeymoon destination.

As they settled into the limo, Greg asked "So are we staying in some penthouse suite in one of the big resorts here?" Nick shook his head. "No, you said you wanted someplace away from it all. So we are going up to Mount Charleston for a few nights in a cabin. I hope you will like it."

Greg smiled. "That sounds perfect."

They remained quiet for a little bit as they drove away from their wedding location. Nick finally looked over at Greg, who was looking out the window. "I'm sorry I never really realized how much that death affected you."

Greg looked at him with some sympathy. "It's not all your fault. I have not exactly been forthcoming with details on my life for all those years locked away. Being locked away gives you far too much time to think and overthink on things. I did a whole lot of that in the first few years about everything. Once I got with Dr. Muller and got into focusing on other things, I did not think about it as much. I think being out in the world again made me think of it more, since these are the people who will remember that. They don't know or care about what happened to me in prison."

"Your friends care," Nick quickly defended. Greg sighed. "I know but that is their focus, on what happened in prison. Not as much as what led me to that point."

"But you had no choice," Nick reminded him.

Greg closed his eyes and slowly exhaled, trying to keep calm as he knew this conversation was going to go in circles. "I know but the fact remains I am responsible for his death. End of story. We can keep looping around but you have to understand how I feel in regards to this. Otherwise this conversation will just end in us arguing again. I really don't want that."

Nick realized he was right. He would never fully understand how Greg felt about that. Sure, he had killed suspects but never someone as young as Greg had and in such circumstances. Nick was always harder when it came to that. He remembered how Greg never wanted to carry a gun. Nick would always carry a gun when on duty. They were very different in that way.

"Fine. I will let it drop. I just want the rest of this day to end good for you. I don't want you feeling stressed," Nick told him.

Greg chewed on his bottom lip a moment. His gaze at Nick became more seductive. He moved closer to Nick and put his hand on his upper thigh. "I can think of ways to ease the stress."

Nick smirked. "I like how your mind works." He reached over and pressed a button. "Hey Don, just buzz us when we are about there. We are going to need some privacy now." The privacy divider raised between the driver and the back area.

Once it was up, Nick pulled Greg in for a long kiss. Greg's hands fumbled at Nick's pants, trying to undo them. When he finally managed he grabbed the treasure. Nick gasped and pulled back. He watched a mischievous smile grow on Greg's face. Greg's moods could really change rapidly but he was starting to get used to it.

"I enjoy having you in the palm of my hand," Greg grinned as he worked on Nick. Nick was gasping. "I love you when you are like this." Nick caught the glint in Greg's eyes before he went down on him.

Twenty minutes later both men were slouched back in the limo, catching their breath. "I am pretty sure this was my first time in a limo," Greg said to Nick. "Pretty sure?" Nick asked, giving him the side eye.

Greg chuckled. "Okay I am sure it is. I know I talked the talk before we were together but honestly I was mostly bullshitting you."

"Yeah me too. I know you had that one guy you were somewhat serious with in college you talked about but I guess we've never talked about how many partners we've really had when we weren't together," Nick said casually.

"Are we talking before or after prison?" He heard Greg ask softly. Nick looked over at him and could kick himself for not thinking before he spoke. Greg was looking away from him, buttoning his shirt back up.

"Greg, I am so sorry. I was not thinking." He saw him shrug. "Doesn't matter anyway, I couldn't tell you for sure how many."

Nick could not take it. He turned him around and pulled him in for a tight hug. He could feel him trembling some as he held him tight. "I promise I'll never let anyone hurt you like that again." He felt Greg hold onto him tighter. Greg was not crying. He was just holding him tightly, but the trembling was still there.

"Gentlemen, we will be arriving at your location in five minutes," they heard suddenly through the car speakers. They broke apart and just gazed at each other. Nick spoke first. "Are you okay?"

Greg nodded his head. "Yeah, I'll be okay." Nick saw him clasp his hands together though to

hide the shaking. He decided it was time to tell him his idea.

"You know, I was talking with our lawyer. She thinks you should sue Freedom Labs. Their subsidiary was run by a criminal and they caused permanent nerve damage to you. She is pretty confident you would easily win. I think it is something to seriously think about."

Greg looked at him. "Why put myself through another trial?"

Nick shook his head. "You are not going to be on trial, Greg. You possibly would not even have to show your face in court. It's just an idea. I think a really great one. Heck, if you won you could win millions from them and never have to worry about working again."

"So is that a better idea because you think I will never find another job? I'm that useless now?!" Greg fumed.

The mood roller coaster was back and in full force, thought Nick. He sighed heavily. "That's not what I think, Greg." He felt the car coming to a stop. "We'll talk more about this later. I think we have arrived at our lodging." Greg looked out the window and saw that he was right.

"Why don't you stay here while I get us checked in? Then Don can drive us over to our cabin." Nick figured he needed to leave Greg alone for a couple of minutes for him to cool down. Greg just nodded.

Greg sighed and put his head back and closed his eyes. He knew he was going every which direction this day. He swore he took his medication but he felt like he had not. Perhaps the bigger dosage was more necessary these days. He had to get his act together. He just married this man and was being horrible for most of the day. Sure, they had their wonderful memories of the vows and everyone being there for them. Both having their first limo sex together but then Nick made that comment and Greg's bad memories creep up. Those always put him in a bad mood.

He looked down at his hands and they had a slight tremble. They did mess him up for life; those in prison and those from FreChem. He could not make those in prison pay but maybe he could literally make those from FreChem pay for the damage they did. When he thought about it that way, it made more sense.

He was startled out of his thoughts by the other door opening. Nick got in. "We are ready to go. We got a nice one a little away from the main building, so away from a lot of activity." Greg just replied "Okay." Nick decided not to push anymore. He just was hoping once they got settled in, things would improve.

Don told them they had arrived. He parked the limo and opened the door for them to get out. It was dark out now, so all that Greg could really see was the little bit of light around their cabin and the others down the way from them. The cabin was big and up a few stairs. Nick got to the door first and opened it. Greg stood outside a moment and looked around. He breathed in the fresh, cold air. He was already feeling more at ease.

"You ready to come in?" Nick asked him. Greg turned around and looked at him. "Yeah, I think I am." He reached out his hand. Nick took it and smiled. "Come in, my Love!" Greg smiled as Nick led him inside.

Greg looked around and noticed it was not very big but it was very cozy. A king bed was on the far side, next to a window. There was a sofa and chair that sat in front of a fireplace. A small kitchen area was to the left where they could make their own meals, if they wanted.

Nick walked past him, dropping their bags next to a small dresser. "So, what do you think?" he asked Greg. Greg looked at him. "It's nice. It looks comfy." Nick tried to see if his mood had changed since the limo. He seemed to be a little more relaxed now. He was not trembling.

"I figured they have a delivery service for groceries if we want to get any tomorrow morning. Otherwise it is a little trek to the main building where they have the restaurant. It'll be up to you," Nick told him. Greg shrugged. "I don't mind cooking some." Nick smiled, figuring that would be his answer.

They unpacked their things. Nick started a fire in the fireplace. It was getting pretty late. It had been a long day. Greg sat staring at the fire in quiet. Nick came to sit down next to him. "Have you thought about what we talked about earlier?"

Greg gazed at him, his look softening. "I'm a real jerk at times. I'm sorry." Nick shook his head. "Please, don't be sorry. I kind of popped the idea out at you out of the blue."

"Yeah, you kind of did. But I have thought about it and perhaps it's time I did something for me. Perhaps it's time I really fight back. I know it won't take away the constant pain and shaking but it can make life easier in other ways if it goes our way," he told Nick.

"What if it doesn't go our way? How will you feel?" Nick asked him. Greg looked up at seemingly something. "I can't tell you right now. I might be in a lot better shape mentally by that point or the trial could have made me worse. So I honestly can't tell you."

Nick was not sure he liked his answer. Greg looked back at him and could see his uncertainty. He reached out to touch his cheek. Nick looked at him in wonder. Greg rubbed his thumb over his cheek. "I've made our wedding day pretty crazy and probably not exactly what you dreamed of. I think we should at least make our wedding night better by not talking of things that will upset me or you. I just want to make love to my husband in front of the fire," he said with a smile.

Nick grinned in return. "That I can agree with."


	30. Chapter 30

Greg and Nick had talked more about suing Freedom Labs and Greg decided to go along with it. After their honeymoon, Nick went back to work and Greg started going over things with his lawyer. Greg had been warned there was a chance the case could go to court but hopefully they would settle out of court. Greg's attorney, Rebecca Lewis, said he had the most clear cut case and Freedom Labs would be smart to settle out of court rather than drag their name through the mud, only to end up losing in the end. It made Greg feel better about pursuing the case.

In the meantime, while waiting out their case, Greg grew restless sitting at home all day. He still lived with some pain and shaking. It was definitely something he would have to deal with the rest of his life. He did his Tai Chi more often and swam when it was warm enough but now that it was practically winter that was not happening. Nick had told him about a few labs to try to get jobs at but no one seemed interested in him anymore. He felt like his pursuit of the case against Freedom Labs probably was hindering his job chances. All of this led to him being more depressed again.

Nick came home from work one day to find Greg just staring into space. He had not even heard the door open. He walked over to him and spoke. "Greg, are you okay?" Greg was not startled at all. He had heard him come in.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do with my life anymore." He raised his sad eyes to Nick. "I can't sit around here much longer. It's not helping my state of mind at all."

Nick sat down next to him on the sofa. "If you could do anything in the world, what would you do?" he asked him. Greg's somber expression did not change. "I would go back to working as a CSI." Nick sighed and frowned. "I know but that is one thing not on the table. What else?"

Greg leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. "I honestly do not know. That is the problem. I really do not want to be in a lab again. I thought I did but when I was at Freedom it was just a job. I did not get the same thrill I got when helping with a case with my lab results."

"Okay, let me ask this, if you could go back to school and get a degree in something else, what would it be?" Nick asked. He wanted to try to get him thinking.

Greg was quiet a moment. He seemed to be genuinely considering the question. "You know, going through my trial and then serving time in prison, it got me thinking about how many innocent people do actually get sent away. I met others who were in there who insisted they were innocent and I believed them. They sounded like me and got beaten down by the system and gave in to a plea bargain. I think I would study law and become a lawyer and try to help those like me who got sucker punched into doing time. I think I would want to fight that."

Nick had no idea he had such an idea in his head. "Wow, I think that would be a great idea." Greg laughed mockingly. "Yeah, like I can afford law school and actually become a lawyer at my age."

"Others have done it. You're smart, Greg. I am sure you would be able to get through it. I also think you would be a great lawyer, seeing as you have been on both sides of the law." Nick was being honest with him. Greg looked at him with surprise. "You really think so?"

"I sure do," Nick said with a smile. Greg shook his head though. "That costs tons of money we do not have. My medical bills are still outrageous."

"That is true but what if you win this case or get a settlement? That could pay for it all," Nick reminded him. Greg was still frowning. "Sure, but who knows when all that could happen. Sometimes these things are dragged out for years."

"Look, I already heard rumors that Freedom Labs is thinking about settling on all of these cases. It's better than having their name rubbed in the dirt."

"Rebecca said the same thing but I am not so sure," Greg replied. "That's because you are in one of your moods and can't see the bright side," Nick told him.

"I suppose but I can't hold out for something that might not come to be. I need something now."

"Talk to Rebecca, see if she has any pointers or can help you start somewhere," Nick told him. Greg looked at him incredulously. "You're joking, right?" Nick shook his head. "No, I am not. I am serious. She likes you. Her firm is big. Maybe they need help in the mailroom. Heck, something to get you started somewhere and who knows. You can study for the LSAT and see if you can pass to get in."

Greg stood up quickly and immediately regretted it. He tried not to let any pain show as he walked a little slower than normal to the patio door. Nick saw it and knew it but never said anything to him about it anymore. It usually ended up in some argument somehow, so it was not worth it.

"Again, we cannot afford to send me to law school, so this is a moot point." Nick got up and came behind him. He wrapped his arms around his waist and put his head on his shoulder. "I know but it still does not hurt to ask Rebecca and see if you can at least try to do something. I have a good feeling we will get some money out of Freedom Labs."

Greg leaned his head against Nick's. "Thank goodness you are Mister Positive Outlook, because I sure am not." Nick made Greg turn around to face him. He gazed into those huge brown, emotional eyes. "It won't hurt to try, I promise. If this does not work, we can try brainstorming again. Or you can be a bum the rest of your life." He knew he would get a reaction out of Greg on that last bit.

Greg's head fell back and groaned. "Gee thanks." He felt his head being held back up and then lips plastered against his. "But you'll be my bum," Nick smiled after breaking off the kiss.

Greg just gazed at him and could not help but smile. Nick had a goofy smile on his face and his positivity really did tend to rub off on him. He rolled his eyes and then said, "Okay, I will try."

A couple weeks later, Greg was helping Rebecca Lewis on some research for another case. He also had started reading the books for the LSAT and seeing what he would need to try to pursue a law degree. Rebecca was happy to assist him where she could. She knew he already had years of knowledge and felt he had a better chance than many at getting into law school and getting his degree.

One day, Nick stopped by after work to their office. Rebecca was working late and Greg and her other assistant were still there. "Hey, I got some pizza for everyone," he came in with two boxes of pizza. Greg looked up and smiled, seeing his husband with food. If it was not for Nick, he would have been in a really bad place by now but instead he was feeling positive about things, even if money was still an issue.

"Thank you, Nick. I think we have a couple more hours of work here. I hope you don't mind me keep Greg late," she smirked. "No worries that is why I brought food. Maybe I can help."

They were all sitting around a conference table full of books and pizza boxes when Rebecca's cell rang. She excused herself to take the call.

"So, how is it going so far?" Nick asked Greg. "I think we nearly have enough case law to get this woman cleared," he told Nick. Nick knew he had been assisting with a case of a Woman being accused of fraud but she insisted she was being set up. They all believed her.

Rebecca came back in with a big smile on her face. "Well, it turns out I have some news on your case, Greg." Greg's eyes opened wide. "Yeah? What is it?"

"That was Harlan Pruitt, Freedom Labs lawyer. He wants to see us tomorrow for settlement talks. It turns out they are already taking enough bad press and do not want to deal with anymore by going to trial with your case, especially. He already knows we will not take anything lower than One Million Dollars."

Greg felt Nick take his hand under the table and squeeze it. "No less than one million? When was that decided?" Greg asked. Rebecca smiled, "since I have seen you work and seen for myself how you still suffer with shaking and pain. $100,000 is chump change for them. They have so many trademarks on some of these drugs and make billions on it annually. You deserve more and I decided to ask for more. You can thank me later when you have your medical bills paid off and you can go back to school."

Greg sat there with his mouth open, unable to express his gratitude to her. Nick squeezed his hand again as it began to tremble and spoke for him. "Rebecca, you have been amazing. I don't think we can ever repay you."

"Nick, we've known each other a long time. I know Greg well enough now to know he is just as good of a man as you are. If all works out and he ends up getting a law degree, he already has a job with me. I know he has the smarts and I think he could make my law firm a lot of money. That will be the pay off," she smiled.

She sat back down at the table. "Now, let's wrap up this research so we can get a good night's sleep before our meeting tomorrow."

The next morning they were back in the conference room. Greg and Nick were dressed in their suits, as was Rebecca Lewis and her other assistant. They waited on Harlan Pruitt and his team to arrive. When the buzzer rang, Rebecca's other assistant got up to go to the door to let them in. Less than a minute later, Harlan Pruitt came in with one of his fellow lawyers and behind him was Thomas Gaylor. Greg's eyes opened wide when he saw his former employer walk in. He suddenly felt intimidated.

They went to shake hands and when it was Greg's turn to shake Thomas Gaylor's hand, his own was shaking badly. Mr. Gaylor looked at Greg with reluctance. "I'm sorry," he said softly under his breath to him. Greg was not expecting that.

They all took their seats and Harlan Pruitt started the talks. "Mr. Gaylor wanted to be here in person as he feels personally responsible for what happened to Mr. Sanders. He would like to say a few words first before we proceed."

Greg felt Tom fix his eyes on his. There was no anger but sincerity in them. "Greg, I took you for a job because I did truly believe you deserved another chance. I had no idea what they were up to down at FreChem. Had I known, well, had I known it would have been shut down immediately. I know what they did to you down there made things worse for you. Your hands shake far worse than they had when I first met you. I know that is due to the nerve damage you sustained. I also know you are in some kind of pain most of the time. I brought you into the company and I do know we are responsible for what happened to you. You do deserve compensation for what you have had to go through. Your case is unique compared to the others as I feel responsible. I hope you can forgive me for what happened to you."

Greg swallowed hard. He looked to Rebecca to almost ask for permission to speak. She nodded to him. "I do not blame you but you should have been aware of what your people were doing there. You should have seen the records that were missing and questioned it. You should have questioned a lot of it. But you personally, did not do this to me. Mike Sullivan is to blame." Greg had no more to say. He did not want to let him off too easily.

"So we shall get to the deal then," said Mr. Pruitt. "Freedom Labs is willing to give you two million dollars in exchange for keeping the terms of the settlement private and not speaking in public of the events you suffered at FreChem again."

Greg's shocked eyes looked at Nick's. They never dreamed of a settlement like this. They were only really hoping for a hundred thousand or so to help pay off all of the medical bills. Rebecca had been the one to increase it and then increase it again.

Rebecca looked to Nick and Greg and already knew this was more than they ever thought they would get. She knew they would agree to the terms. What happened to Greg at FreChem was already all made public. There really was nothing new that would come out.

"How will the payout occur? Two million before or after taxes?" Rebecca asked wanting to make sure they got a good deal. Mr. Pruitt looked at Mr. Gaylor a moment. He saw Mr. Gaylor nod and then turned back to the others.

"Two million after taxes in one lump payout. It can be set up to be done within a couple of weeks." Rebecca smiled at her clients, who still seemed in awe of the sum. "I believe we have a deal gentlemen. Now, how about we step into my office to sign up the papers? Angie, come with me." Her assistant followed Harlan Pruitt and his people into Rebecca's office, leaving Nick and Greg to sit in the conference room by themselves.

"Did that just happen?" Greg asked him. Nick blinked a few times and slowly a huge smile filled his face. "I think it did. I think we will be debt free and living a pretty good life from here on out."

Greg looked down at his hands. They were only slightly trembling. "I guess this would be what you call a silver lining after everything that happened." Nick looked down at Greg's hands before meeting his eyes.

"Of course, the outcome we really want we cannot get but this is better than nothing, is it not?"

"Yea, yea it is." Greg's eyes became a little moist. "I would have never dreamed in prison that I would someday be a millionaire and possibly a lawyer after all I went through. I guess things have definitely gotten better, if not for my health issues. But even those are not as bad as it could be. Maybe that positive outlook you have on life is actually taking effect."

Nick placed his hand on Greg's face, rubbing his cheek ever so softly. "I told you that you deserved better. Well it maybe took a little while but things are looking up and brighter than ever."

"Yes, you did say that I deserved better and apparently the universe agrees with you. But honestly, all I need is you and that is all I ever needed." He leaned in to kiss him. They let the kiss linger before releasing and sitting back.

"I guess this means I can maybe get a new car too, seeing as my old beater is getting more beaten every day," Greg chuckled. "I am sure that will not be an issue. And now you can apply to law schools, once you take your LSAT."

"Yep, but I plan to stay close or do it online, so I don't have to go away from you. I will always need you," Greg told him.

"Well, I will always be here for you. I think this calls for a celebration. How about I call in a favor I have with the manager at Le Cirque and get us a table?" Nick grinned.

"No way! I mean yes, call in your favor! This does call for a major celebration!" Greg laughed.

Greg watched as Nick made the call on his cell phone. It was only 15 months ago that he got out of prison. Now he was about to be a millionaire, probably a lawyer, and married the man of his dreams. Life certainly was a funny thing but he was happy, truly happy for change. It was about time.


End file.
